February 1, 2012
Dear Pacey-rae Linda,
I can hardly believe you are here. I don't know how to put into words everything I am feeling - a few that come to mind are joyful, proud, love, happy, and so very excited. Daddy and I were beginning to wonder if you were ever coming out! Since Christmas, the doctor kept telling us to be ready and that you would be here any day now! I guess you had other plans, didn't you my girl? I have so much love to give you and so many dreams for you. I just want to give you the best life possible and teach you all that I know. I bet sometimes you are going to think I am bossy or impatient, maybe even stubborn or mean. I know that you are going to hate me at times - but just know, love, that everything I do, I do it because I love you so very very much and only want the best for you.
I want to tell you the story of your name. The first part of your name, the Pacey part came from a TV show that Daddy and I used to watch as teenagers. It was like a date night - we would get treats and watch Dawson's Creek at Daddy's house when he lived with Grandma and Auntie Lyn on Cavalier. There was a character on the show whose name was Pacey and Mommy told Daddy she really liked the name, and Daddy said it was a great name for a girl. When we found out that you were on your way and you were in fact a girl, Daddy said he really wanted to name you Pacey. Mommy had 2 other names she liked as well, but Pacey was our first choice all along. As for your middle name ... well mommy has "rae" in her name too. The rae was given to mommy by grampa. Grampa's cousin and best friend in the whole world is named Ray. He is special to Grampa, and that makes him special to us too. Of course, your middle name is Linda - what else would it be my girl? I am going to try real hard to tell you everything about your Gramma Linda - she was one special lady who loves you as much as she can from where she is. Your name is wonderful, ti is perfect, it was chosen just for you. I hope you love it as much as your daddy and I do.
We have a lifetime to love each other, to learn with each other, and to help each other. You are my baby, you will always be my baby, and in my heart you will always stay, no matter where you are or what you do. This is a great big world, and I am so excited to watch you embrace it and see where your life takes you. I hope you always remember to walk before you run and even crawl before you walk. I hope you face each challenge with a strong sense of self and that you are always willing to help someone in need. I hope your heart is filled with love and everyday someone goes out of their way to make you smile. This world is big, my girl, but it is yours for the taking, never be afraid to ask for what you want, and to work hard to achieve your dreams, no matter how big or small. I will hold your hand through everything. I will stand behind you and give you everything I can to help you shine. I love you through and through - keep it in your heart forever and always.
Much love,
Mommy
I can hardly believe you are here. I don't know how to put into words everything I am feeling - a few that come to mind are joyful, proud, love, happy, and so very excited. Daddy and I were beginning to wonder if you were ever coming out! Since Christmas, the doctor kept telling us to be ready and that you would be here any day now! I guess you had other plans, didn't you my girl? I have so much love to give you and so many dreams for you. I just want to give you the best life possible and teach you all that I know. I bet sometimes you are going to think I am bossy or impatient, maybe even stubborn or mean. I know that you are going to hate me at times - but just know, love, that everything I do, I do it because I love you so very very much and only want the best for you.
I want to tell you the story of your name. The first part of your name, the Pacey part came from a TV show that Daddy and I used to watch as teenagers. It was like a date night - we would get treats and watch Dawson's Creek at Daddy's house when he lived with Grandma and Auntie Lyn on Cavalier. There was a character on the show whose name was Pacey and Mommy told Daddy she really liked the name, and Daddy said it was a great name for a girl. When we found out that you were on your way and you were in fact a girl, Daddy said he really wanted to name you Pacey. Mommy had 2 other names she liked as well, but Pacey was our first choice all along. As for your middle name ... well mommy has "rae" in her name too. The rae was given to mommy by grampa. Grampa's cousin and best friend in the whole world is named Ray. He is special to Grampa, and that makes him special to us too. Of course, your middle name is Linda - what else would it be my girl? I am going to try real hard to tell you everything about your Gramma Linda - she was one special lady who loves you as much as she can from where she is. Your name is wonderful, ti is perfect, it was chosen just for you. I hope you love it as much as your daddy and I do.
We have a lifetime to love each other, to learn with each other, and to help each other. You are my baby, you will always be my baby, and in my heart you will always stay, no matter where you are or what you do. This is a great big world, and I am so excited to watch you embrace it and see where your life takes you. I hope you always remember to walk before you run and even crawl before you walk. I hope you face each challenge with a strong sense of self and that you are always willing to help someone in need. I hope your heart is filled with love and everyday someone goes out of their way to make you smile. This world is big, my girl, but it is yours for the taking, never be afraid to ask for what you want, and to work hard to achieve your dreams, no matter how big or small. I will hold your hand through everything. I will stand behind you and give you everything I can to help you shine. I love you through and through - keep it in your heart forever and always.
Much love,
Mommy
February 7, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/5442586.jpg)
Hello my little mouse!
I am so happy we are all home. I hope you love all the special things we got for you. The dogs are really curious about you! Cosby has taken such a shining to you, little one. He always wants to be near you and always is so concerned when you are crying. By the way, you are a really good crier! You have a decent set of lungs that is for sure!
Daddy and I have started calling you Mouse because of all the little mouse sounds you have been making. When you are laying in our arms or in the playpen, we can hear you making the smallest sounds - just like a little mouse! We love hearing all your sounds and are getting used to what each means. You sure do love to sleep - already you are almost sleeping all the way through the night and when I give you your bottles - you always sleep eat! I love our little night time moments when it is just you and me! I love singing to you - which is strange because mommy is no songstress, and often avoids singling when she can! When I put you to sleep, I always sing a song I made up for you called This Little Girl of Mine. I usually add a little more each time I sing it. So far, this is what I sing ...
This little girl of mine
I'm gonna let her shine
This little girl of mine
I'm gonna let her shine
This little girl of mine
Oh I'm gonna let her, let her shine all the time.
My little baby girl
I'll give you the world
My little baby girl
I'll give you the world
My little baby girl
I'm gonna give you this whole world to watch you shine
Pacey, Pacey-rae
Today's gonna be your day
Pacey, Pacey-rae
Today's gonna be your day
Pacey, Pacey-rae
Today will be a real great day for you to shine
When you're big and strong
remember Mommy sang this song
When you're big and strong
remember Mommy sang this song
When you're big and strong
Your mommy will still sing this song for you to shine
.I love being your mommy,Much love my girl,
Mommy
I am so happy we are all home. I hope you love all the special things we got for you. The dogs are really curious about you! Cosby has taken such a shining to you, little one. He always wants to be near you and always is so concerned when you are crying. By the way, you are a really good crier! You have a decent set of lungs that is for sure!
Daddy and I have started calling you Mouse because of all the little mouse sounds you have been making. When you are laying in our arms or in the playpen, we can hear you making the smallest sounds - just like a little mouse! We love hearing all your sounds and are getting used to what each means. You sure do love to sleep - already you are almost sleeping all the way through the night and when I give you your bottles - you always sleep eat! I love our little night time moments when it is just you and me! I love singing to you - which is strange because mommy is no songstress, and often avoids singling when she can! When I put you to sleep, I always sing a song I made up for you called This Little Girl of Mine. I usually add a little more each time I sing it. So far, this is what I sing ...
This little girl of mine
I'm gonna let her shine
This little girl of mine
I'm gonna let her shine
This little girl of mine
Oh I'm gonna let her, let her shine all the time.
My little baby girl
I'll give you the world
My little baby girl
I'll give you the world
My little baby girl
I'm gonna give you this whole world to watch you shine
Pacey, Pacey-rae
Today's gonna be your day
Pacey, Pacey-rae
Today's gonna be your day
Pacey, Pacey-rae
Today will be a real great day for you to shine
When you're big and strong
remember Mommy sang this song
When you're big and strong
remember Mommy sang this song
When you're big and strong
Your mommy will still sing this song for you to shine
.I love being your mommy,Much love my girl,
Mommy
February 15, 2012
Dear Mouse,
We took you to your first doctor's appointment today at the Manitoba Clinic! It was so exciting because it was also the first time I have driven alone with you. You might not know this about Mommy, but she has what Grampa would call a "lead foot." That means I like to drive fast!!! Now that you are my co-pilot, Mouse, I have emptied all the lead out of my foot and I think I drive really quite slow, but not slow enough to get honked at. Anyhow back to your appointment!!!
Your doctor's name is Dr. Madison and she thinks you are the business! It seems wherever we go, someone always comments on how cute you are and how much hair you have! Dr. Madison couldn't believe that you had so much hair already. She gave you a real good look over and concluded that you were a 100% healthy baby! She asked Mommy and Daddy some questions and gave us some homework. Homework???? We had to read up about vaccinations and decide if you were getting them or if you were, which ones you were getting. A big decision, but I am learning that there are very few small decisions in parenting.
I was so proud of you at the doctor's office. I thought you would be scared and cry, but you were so brave, my mouse, so very brave. Both Daddy and I couldn't believe how you let Dr. Madison check you out.
Good job Mouse!
Much love,
Mommy
We took you to your first doctor's appointment today at the Manitoba Clinic! It was so exciting because it was also the first time I have driven alone with you. You might not know this about Mommy, but she has what Grampa would call a "lead foot." That means I like to drive fast!!! Now that you are my co-pilot, Mouse, I have emptied all the lead out of my foot and I think I drive really quite slow, but not slow enough to get honked at. Anyhow back to your appointment!!!
Your doctor's name is Dr. Madison and she thinks you are the business! It seems wherever we go, someone always comments on how cute you are and how much hair you have! Dr. Madison couldn't believe that you had so much hair already. She gave you a real good look over and concluded that you were a 100% healthy baby! She asked Mommy and Daddy some questions and gave us some homework. Homework???? We had to read up about vaccinations and decide if you were getting them or if you were, which ones you were getting. A big decision, but I am learning that there are very few small decisions in parenting.
I was so proud of you at the doctor's office. I thought you would be scared and cry, but you were so brave, my mouse, so very brave. Both Daddy and I couldn't believe how you let Dr. Madison check you out.
Good job Mouse!
Much love,
Mommy
March 3, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/5027228.jpg)
My wonderful little girl,
I love when you wake up in the morning. You are so beautiful and fresh and so smiley - it is my favourite time of day for sure. Everyday is new with you and each one more exciting than the next. You are growing so fast and learning so much. I notice lately that you are able to focus and you are starting to try to hold your noggin!
Today is your big day! It is the Sip and See that Daddy and I are hosting so that all of our friends, and Gramma and Grampa's friends can come and see you! There are going to be so many people here, Mouse. I know you will be a star! Everyone is going to want to hold you and love up on you - lucky little girl! Mommy is so lucky that Auntie Krista is coming over to help. Soon she will be here and we will blow up balloons and get out all the food. I am so excited! It is going to be a great day!
Well P, the Sip and See is over and I couldn't be more proud, and exhausted! I am watching you in your playpen sleeping right now and cant believe how great you were today. There were 39 people who were here today - and 39 people who all held you. You were passed from person to person and you never made a peep. I couldn't believe it. Just as I suspected, everyone thought you were very cute - no surprise, mommy knows you are the cutest little girl in the world. Everyone was so generous and kind. They all brought such thoughtful and beautiful gifts. You got clothes to last until you are 2 years old, toys, games, puzzles, keepsakes, dishes, books, shoes, really too many awesome things to list. Mommy is going to have get going on all those thank you cards!!!
The nicest part of today, Pacey-rae, was watching how proud your dad was. He loves you so much and you really have become the centre of his heart. He beams when someone gives you a compliment and he can't wait to tell me when someone has said something nice about you. I love watching Daddy love you - it makes my heart so happy! I love our little family!
Much love to you Mouse,
Mommy
I love when you wake up in the morning. You are so beautiful and fresh and so smiley - it is my favourite time of day for sure. Everyday is new with you and each one more exciting than the next. You are growing so fast and learning so much. I notice lately that you are able to focus and you are starting to try to hold your noggin!
Today is your big day! It is the Sip and See that Daddy and I are hosting so that all of our friends, and Gramma and Grampa's friends can come and see you! There are going to be so many people here, Mouse. I know you will be a star! Everyone is going to want to hold you and love up on you - lucky little girl! Mommy is so lucky that Auntie Krista is coming over to help. Soon she will be here and we will blow up balloons and get out all the food. I am so excited! It is going to be a great day!
Well P, the Sip and See is over and I couldn't be more proud, and exhausted! I am watching you in your playpen sleeping right now and cant believe how great you were today. There were 39 people who were here today - and 39 people who all held you. You were passed from person to person and you never made a peep. I couldn't believe it. Just as I suspected, everyone thought you were very cute - no surprise, mommy knows you are the cutest little girl in the world. Everyone was so generous and kind. They all brought such thoughtful and beautiful gifts. You got clothes to last until you are 2 years old, toys, games, puzzles, keepsakes, dishes, books, shoes, really too many awesome things to list. Mommy is going to have get going on all those thank you cards!!!
The nicest part of today, Pacey-rae, was watching how proud your dad was. He loves you so much and you really have become the centre of his heart. He beams when someone gives you a compliment and he can't wait to tell me when someone has said something nice about you. I love watching Daddy love you - it makes my heart so happy! I love our little family!
Much love to you Mouse,
Mommy
March 21, 2012
Dear Pacey-rae,
I am so relieved. When you were two weeks old we took you to Dr. Madison for a check up. She found a "dimple" at the top of your butt that she was a little concerned about. She scheduled you an ultrasound for March 19th to check it out. Mommy was so worried, Pacey. I have hardly slept since the ultra sound. But ... today Dr. Madison called because she knew I was so worried and she said there was NOTHING to worry about and that it is just a part of you that makes you special! Here is something cool about your little dimple, my girl, your Gramma had the same one on her, so no matter where you go, you will always have a little piece of Gramma with you! I love that.
You are such a little star! At the ultra sound you cried and cried because it was so weird, but in the end you really pulled it together and made your Daddy and me very proud. After it was all done, we dropped daddy back at work and you and me went to Toys R Us and Baby Gap for a shop because, well, you deserved it for being so brave! Also, there was a little red jumper that Mommy couldn't get off her mind - and your Gramma used to say that if it followed you home from the store you might as well turn right around and go get it before you lost sleep thinking about it!
On the weekend we are going to Auntie Diane's house because her and Auntie Krista are giving you a Pacey party!!! It is actually a baby shower for you with all of Gramma's sisters and nieces and great nieces. Mommy is excited to see them and introduce them to you. I can hardly wait!
You are my perfect little girl, and I am so happy everything came back on the up and up. We would have gotten through it, but knowing we don't have to, is sure a relief.
Much love P,
Mommy
Dear Pacey-rae,
I am so relieved. When you were two weeks old we took you to Dr. Madison for a check up. She found a "dimple" at the top of your butt that she was a little concerned about. She scheduled you an ultrasound for March 19th to check it out. Mommy was so worried, Pacey. I have hardly slept since the ultra sound. But ... today Dr. Madison called because she knew I was so worried and she said there was NOTHING to worry about and that it is just a part of you that makes you special! Here is something cool about your little dimple, my girl, your Gramma had the same one on her, so no matter where you go, you will always have a little piece of Gramma with you! I love that.
You are such a little star! At the ultra sound you cried and cried because it was so weird, but in the end you really pulled it together and made your Daddy and me very proud. After it was all done, we dropped daddy back at work and you and me went to Toys R Us and Baby Gap for a shop because, well, you deserved it for being so brave! Also, there was a little red jumper that Mommy couldn't get off her mind - and your Gramma used to say that if it followed you home from the store you might as well turn right around and go get it before you lost sleep thinking about it!
On the weekend we are going to Auntie Diane's house because her and Auntie Krista are giving you a Pacey party!!! It is actually a baby shower for you with all of Gramma's sisters and nieces and great nieces. Mommy is excited to see them and introduce them to you. I can hardly wait!
You are my perfect little girl, and I am so happy everything came back on the up and up. We would have gotten through it, but knowing we don't have to, is sure a relief.
Much love P,
Mommy
March 25, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/4468722.jpg)
Hello my little Mouse,
What a great day we had!!! Your shower was recheduled to today because Auntie Pat and Auntie Gloria, Pammy and Leah couldn't make it in yesterday because of the horrible weather. Thank goodness today is a better day! You had such a great day visiting!
Let me tell you all about it! First of all, mommy bought you an outfit that Gramma would have bought you - it was cheetah printed and pink and sparkly - something mommy never would have picked, but I think it is nice for you to have some of your Gramma's tastes around you. Anyhow when we got there - the living room and dining room were all decorated. Auntie Krista made you a sign with your name in fancy letters and this really amazing picture board with pictures of Mommy and Daddy when they were babies. Everyone thought you looked so much like Daddy but then when they looked at Mommy's baby pictures, they said I looked like you!!! I think Auntie Diane has it right when she says that you go the best of both of us. Between you and I, I think you are far cuter than either Daddy or I were as babies!
Here's who was there: Auntie Diane, Auntie Krista, Auntie Gloria, Cousin Pammy, Mackenzie, Even, Auntie Pat, Cousin Lean, Laura, Elizabeth, Curtis, Auntie Kelly, and your adorable cousin Vayda! Vayda helped Mommy open all your gifts - we had fun! You slept through the entire shower, when you did wake up, Auntie Kelly took you for a little walk around the house and you fell asleep again!!! I had wished you were awake more, but I understand you are still so small and need all that good sleep!
You are such a beautiful little soul,
Much love,
Mommy
What a great day we had!!! Your shower was recheduled to today because Auntie Pat and Auntie Gloria, Pammy and Leah couldn't make it in yesterday because of the horrible weather. Thank goodness today is a better day! You had such a great day visiting!
Let me tell you all about it! First of all, mommy bought you an outfit that Gramma would have bought you - it was cheetah printed and pink and sparkly - something mommy never would have picked, but I think it is nice for you to have some of your Gramma's tastes around you. Anyhow when we got there - the living room and dining room were all decorated. Auntie Krista made you a sign with your name in fancy letters and this really amazing picture board with pictures of Mommy and Daddy when they were babies. Everyone thought you looked so much like Daddy but then when they looked at Mommy's baby pictures, they said I looked like you!!! I think Auntie Diane has it right when she says that you go the best of both of us. Between you and I, I think you are far cuter than either Daddy or I were as babies!
Here's who was there: Auntie Diane, Auntie Krista, Auntie Gloria, Cousin Pammy, Mackenzie, Even, Auntie Pat, Cousin Lean, Laura, Elizabeth, Curtis, Auntie Kelly, and your adorable cousin Vayda! Vayda helped Mommy open all your gifts - we had fun! You slept through the entire shower, when you did wake up, Auntie Kelly took you for a little walk around the house and you fell asleep again!!! I had wished you were awake more, but I understand you are still so small and need all that good sleep!
You are such a beautiful little soul,
Much love,
Mommy
April 2, 2012
Hi P!
What a crazy few days we have had, haven't we? You and Daddy picked me up from the hospital today - I am so happy to be home! Mommy got real sick and had to stay in the hospital a few nights, until her fever went down and she was feeling better. Daddy said you were really good! It was his first time alone with you and I know he was nervous, but Mommy knew he would be so good with you. He loves you so much P! Daddy would do anything for you and I know he took good care of you while I was away. He said you and him had some really good conversations and that you learned how to do laundry with him. He said you slept really good and that you even took a walk with the dogs. This made me feel better!
The doctor sent me home on a deal - the deal was that someone has to be with us all the time until the infection is out of mommy's system. Daddy and Mommy put their thinking caps on and we started making phone calls. So for the next couple of weeks, we are going to have A LOT of company, my girl. I won't be able to pick you up as much because Mommy is very weak, but it is all going to be ok! We are so lucky to have so many people who love us and want to help. It makes me feel really grateful for all the special people we are lucky to know! It will be fun to spend the day with new people!
The other exciting news today P is that we picked up the new vehicles! We used to just have the big truck and it was kind of hard for you and I to do anything. We pretty much just stayed around home and on days where we were going out, we had to drive Daddy to work and pick him up. It wasn't very fun! So now we have two new vehicles and life is going to be easier! I hope you like them - you did flip a switch and cry the whole way home with Mommy, which made for such a long ride. I was never more happy to park a car in my life!
When you came today to the hospital all the nurses wanted to see you. They couldn't believe how cute you are! Daddy had dressed you in a pink long sleeved onesie and black leggings - he was very proud that he dressed you all by himself. You look cute no matter what you wear! I love when people comment on you, it makes me feel a kind of proud I can't explain. You are a special girl, I knew that the first time I felt you in my tummy!
Much love,
Mommy
Hi P!
What a crazy few days we have had, haven't we? You and Daddy picked me up from the hospital today - I am so happy to be home! Mommy got real sick and had to stay in the hospital a few nights, until her fever went down and she was feeling better. Daddy said you were really good! It was his first time alone with you and I know he was nervous, but Mommy knew he would be so good with you. He loves you so much P! Daddy would do anything for you and I know he took good care of you while I was away. He said you and him had some really good conversations and that you learned how to do laundry with him. He said you slept really good and that you even took a walk with the dogs. This made me feel better!
The doctor sent me home on a deal - the deal was that someone has to be with us all the time until the infection is out of mommy's system. Daddy and Mommy put their thinking caps on and we started making phone calls. So for the next couple of weeks, we are going to have A LOT of company, my girl. I won't be able to pick you up as much because Mommy is very weak, but it is all going to be ok! We are so lucky to have so many people who love us and want to help. It makes me feel really grateful for all the special people we are lucky to know! It will be fun to spend the day with new people!
The other exciting news today P is that we picked up the new vehicles! We used to just have the big truck and it was kind of hard for you and I to do anything. We pretty much just stayed around home and on days where we were going out, we had to drive Daddy to work and pick him up. It wasn't very fun! So now we have two new vehicles and life is going to be easier! I hope you like them - you did flip a switch and cry the whole way home with Mommy, which made for such a long ride. I was never more happy to park a car in my life!
When you came today to the hospital all the nurses wanted to see you. They couldn't believe how cute you are! Daddy had dressed you in a pink long sleeved onesie and black leggings - he was very proud that he dressed you all by himself. You look cute no matter what you wear! I love when people comment on you, it makes me feel a kind of proud I can't explain. You are a special girl, I knew that the first time I felt you in my tummy!
Much love,
Mommy
April 10, 2012
Hello my brave little Mouse!
Yesterday you got your 2 months vaccinations. I was so scared - even for weeks before. Ainsley and I talked and talked about whether or not to vaccinate you and Nixon. We both were worried how it would effect you two. Mommy called Auntie Kelly and got advice, and she asked Dusty if Bentley was vaccinated. In the end, Daddy and I decided it was better for you to be vaccinated than not. So I took you in.
Auntie Judi came with me (thank goodness). She made Mommy feel more at ease. The first needle went in your left thigh. You let out a big scream, my girl. It made me want to pick you up and run away! Then Dr. Madison said, "this next shot is going to be more painful than the first." And, of course, she was right. You screamed like a hyena when that needle went in. As soon as I could, I turned you around for a good cuddle. My poor little girl! Mommy was very upset for you. You are going to have to have more needles when you are 4 months, and 6 months, and actually through the rest of your childhood. I could lie to you and say that they will get better, but the truth is, P, that needles suck eggs. They are not fun. They hurt, but we have to put on our tough guy faces and just take it and know that it is only going to hurt for such a small moment in time.
Everyone said that the vaccinations would have an after effect - a fever, crankiness, sleepiness, but the truth is, I think you took it in stride. Nothing seems different yet and it has been 24 hours. Your sleep pattern has not changed (whoo hoo!) and your mood has not altered either. So far so good, but Mommy still watches with a close eye!
Much love,
Mommy
April 15, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/7329294.jpg)
Dear Pacey-rae,
I am just sitting here as you have your morning nap watching you sleep. I love watching you fall asleep in my arms, it is the best feeling in the world. I love how you look at me as though I am the most important person you know, and I love watching sleep creep up on you and close your eyes shut. i wonder what you think about when you are falling asleep, I wonder what kind of dreams pop up in your mind. I wonder if you know how much Daddy and I love you and how much joy you bring us. You are so special, and we are so lucky to be your parents and ride along with you as you journey through life.
Today we have another baby shower for you on the Smith side. This is all of Grampa's family and I think there will be some of Daddy's family and also a few friends of Gramma's as well. I am sure we will have a great day. I think I will dress you in your green and white ruffly romper that you wore to the sip and see because it is nice and cool and comfy. I am going to finish this letter tonight after you go to bed, and fill you in on the shower.
Well P, you were exhausted! Passed around from person to person, you took it like a champ. Not one little peep from you all day - you are such a good baby. Just as I thought, everyone fell in love with you - how could they not, you are so adorable and lovable. There was a lot of people at the shower today. Cousins Jackie and Jackie threw the shower for us. It was at Jackie Neumann's house. That was a long drive, but Daddy got the GPS ready for us and Aunt Judy came along for the ride to make sure we did not get lost. That was a great help and such good company. You met Aunt Judy a few weeks ago. Her and Uncle Doug came by and you had lots of smiles for them!
Everyone who could come, came and the food and gifts were so wonderful. I can't believe how generous people are when it comes to you, Pacey. It is something else. People buy really lovely and thoughtful things. Today at the shower we saw Aunt Pat, Cousin Jackie and Calli; Aunt Judy and Cousins Christine, Jackie, Brooklyn (Taylor had to work), and Elyse, we saw Cousins Kendra and Annlyn and Kayla, Camryn, Miley, and Max, Auntie Kelly and cousin Vayda, Gramle, Auntie Judi, Janny, Ellen, and Sandy. I hope I am not forgetting anyone, it seemed like there was a big crowd there. There was SO much food and so much visiting and chatting - it was a real great day!
Mommy made special thank you cards from Costco that look like your birth announcement - I think they are pretty fantastic, and wish I had made them up earlier for the sip and see thank you's but I just didn't think about it until recently. I wish you could write or draw pictures so you could show people how much you appreciate their kindness and their gift - someday soon enough that day will come - Mommy should just not rush it and enjoy each of these days to the fullest!
Much love my baby,
Mommy
I am just sitting here as you have your morning nap watching you sleep. I love watching you fall asleep in my arms, it is the best feeling in the world. I love how you look at me as though I am the most important person you know, and I love watching sleep creep up on you and close your eyes shut. i wonder what you think about when you are falling asleep, I wonder what kind of dreams pop up in your mind. I wonder if you know how much Daddy and I love you and how much joy you bring us. You are so special, and we are so lucky to be your parents and ride along with you as you journey through life.
Today we have another baby shower for you on the Smith side. This is all of Grampa's family and I think there will be some of Daddy's family and also a few friends of Gramma's as well. I am sure we will have a great day. I think I will dress you in your green and white ruffly romper that you wore to the sip and see because it is nice and cool and comfy. I am going to finish this letter tonight after you go to bed, and fill you in on the shower.
Well P, you were exhausted! Passed around from person to person, you took it like a champ. Not one little peep from you all day - you are such a good baby. Just as I thought, everyone fell in love with you - how could they not, you are so adorable and lovable. There was a lot of people at the shower today. Cousins Jackie and Jackie threw the shower for us. It was at Jackie Neumann's house. That was a long drive, but Daddy got the GPS ready for us and Aunt Judy came along for the ride to make sure we did not get lost. That was a great help and such good company. You met Aunt Judy a few weeks ago. Her and Uncle Doug came by and you had lots of smiles for them!
Everyone who could come, came and the food and gifts were so wonderful. I can't believe how generous people are when it comes to you, Pacey. It is something else. People buy really lovely and thoughtful things. Today at the shower we saw Aunt Pat, Cousin Jackie and Calli; Aunt Judy and Cousins Christine, Jackie, Brooklyn (Taylor had to work), and Elyse, we saw Cousins Kendra and Annlyn and Kayla, Camryn, Miley, and Max, Auntie Kelly and cousin Vayda, Gramle, Auntie Judi, Janny, Ellen, and Sandy. I hope I am not forgetting anyone, it seemed like there was a big crowd there. There was SO much food and so much visiting and chatting - it was a real great day!
Mommy made special thank you cards from Costco that look like your birth announcement - I think they are pretty fantastic, and wish I had made them up earlier for the sip and see thank you's but I just didn't think about it until recently. I wish you could write or draw pictures so you could show people how much you appreciate their kindness and their gift - someday soon enough that day will come - Mommy should just not rush it and enjoy each of these days to the fullest!
Much love my baby,
Mommy
May 4, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/2330569.jpg)
Wow Pacey-rae you are 3 months old now!!!
You are grabbing things with your hands, you are following movements and sounds, and you are smiling and making all sorts of fun sounds now. I love that you are starting to express yourself as your own person. You make it very clear when you want a bottle or when you are tired. When you want a bottle you get very loud and you start out by making loud BAH sounds, almost like grunts. Daddy says this is when you are asking politely for your bottle. Those grunts progress into loud yells. I know my window of time before you flip a switch is getting smaller, so I usually run to mix you a bottle and heat it up. If we miss that window of time, you literally will flip your switch and start crying - we are now in the Red Zone. Let's just say when we hear the grunts, we get a movin.'
When you are tired, you get whiney. You start making effortless cries and you have trouble keeping your pip in your mouth. There is not much we can do to soothe you at this point, so we wait it out. The whining usually lasts about 5 minutes and then you do what we call "the wiggle down." You start to move your body down so that whoever is holding you, will cradle you and rock you to sleep. You like to be heart to heart and you like when you are held loosely. Mommy usually sings to you or tells you stories to help you fall asleep. I love this job!
We have been busy this week taking pictures for your three month milestone. Mommy went out and bought some props and did a little research on how to take some decent pictures. You were a very patient model. I am so happy with the results and I think for a first try at a photo shoot - we didn't do half bad, girl! Your pictures turned out great, but mostly because you are one good lookin' baby (grampa would say - you look like your grampa!)
We also have been busy with our walking dates and lots of trips out and about. You love the fresh air and we have been doing 2-3 walks a day. Thank goodness your jogging stroller has a huge canopy to shade you in the nice weather we have been having. It has been so fun to take you around the park for walks. We get to stop and look at flowers and at different things that the park has going on. One day last week we watched someone painting chalk art on the walkway, another day we saw the flowers going into the English Garden for the spring, and we saw them pour the cement for the fountain in the middle of the garden. We also checked out the ducks and geese at the duck pond and spent some time in the Children's area. Even though, you are too small to play in there, it was still fun to go and watch the other kids playing around.
I can't believe how quickly these three months have gone. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday we brought you home and other times I look at your newborn pictures and it seems so far away. You have grown so much, and I love you so much more each day. Every day you make me smile, P, that's pretty powerful stuff! You warm my heart and I love the memories we are making together. Each day is a new day with new things to learn, and I love re learning all these things with you.
Much love,
Mommy
You are grabbing things with your hands, you are following movements and sounds, and you are smiling and making all sorts of fun sounds now. I love that you are starting to express yourself as your own person. You make it very clear when you want a bottle or when you are tired. When you want a bottle you get very loud and you start out by making loud BAH sounds, almost like grunts. Daddy says this is when you are asking politely for your bottle. Those grunts progress into loud yells. I know my window of time before you flip a switch is getting smaller, so I usually run to mix you a bottle and heat it up. If we miss that window of time, you literally will flip your switch and start crying - we are now in the Red Zone. Let's just say when we hear the grunts, we get a movin.'
When you are tired, you get whiney. You start making effortless cries and you have trouble keeping your pip in your mouth. There is not much we can do to soothe you at this point, so we wait it out. The whining usually lasts about 5 minutes and then you do what we call "the wiggle down." You start to move your body down so that whoever is holding you, will cradle you and rock you to sleep. You like to be heart to heart and you like when you are held loosely. Mommy usually sings to you or tells you stories to help you fall asleep. I love this job!
We have been busy this week taking pictures for your three month milestone. Mommy went out and bought some props and did a little research on how to take some decent pictures. You were a very patient model. I am so happy with the results and I think for a first try at a photo shoot - we didn't do half bad, girl! Your pictures turned out great, but mostly because you are one good lookin' baby (grampa would say - you look like your grampa!)
We also have been busy with our walking dates and lots of trips out and about. You love the fresh air and we have been doing 2-3 walks a day. Thank goodness your jogging stroller has a huge canopy to shade you in the nice weather we have been having. It has been so fun to take you around the park for walks. We get to stop and look at flowers and at different things that the park has going on. One day last week we watched someone painting chalk art on the walkway, another day we saw the flowers going into the English Garden for the spring, and we saw them pour the cement for the fountain in the middle of the garden. We also checked out the ducks and geese at the duck pond and spent some time in the Children's area. Even though, you are too small to play in there, it was still fun to go and watch the other kids playing around.
I can't believe how quickly these three months have gone. Sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday we brought you home and other times I look at your newborn pictures and it seems so far away. You have grown so much, and I love you so much more each day. Every day you make me smile, P, that's pretty powerful stuff! You warm my heart and I love the memories we are making together. Each day is a new day with new things to learn, and I love re learning all these things with you.
Much love,
Mommy
May 13, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1337410085.jpg)
Hello my baby girl,
Today seems like a really good day to tell you a little about your gramma - your Mommy's mommy. Gramma's name was Linda. That is why your middle name is Linda. She was a really, really good mommy, and your mommy misses her all the time.
When Mommy was small, Gramma made sure that Mommy was happy and safe. She would bring Mommy little treats and play games with her all the time. Gramma taught Mommy songs like The Teddy Bear's Picnic, Let the Sun Shine In, and Scab Sandwich. Gramma was so much fun! She was always Mommy's favourite person to be around. In fact, everyone liked being around her. She always made people feel important and special. I think if your Gramma could, she would have stretched her arms around the whole world to give it a hug - she was just that kind of lady. Your Gramma used to always say to me, "It's not about the things you do with the people you spend your time with, it's not even about how much time you spend with them. The most important thing is how you make them feel." That is one lesson that Mommy remembers every day and I hope to teach it to you, too.
Gramma always had lots of friends. She had her work friends, she had her curling friends, and golf friends. She kept her close friends from when she was in school, and neighbourhood friends, she had friends she met through me and Uncle Ryan, and she had her friends that she met through her Cancer group. She loved being around people. She loved meeting new people and when her and mommy would go to the store, Gramma always made sure to call the cashiers by their names, except you know what honey? Sometimes she didn't read the name right and Mommy would say "Mom, her name was Jamie not Janie." And Gramma would say "Doesn't matter, I just made her day." And she was probably right, because even though she didn't call her by the right name, she told her how she loved her hair, and what a pretty ring she had on, she asked how her day was going and what her plans for the weekend were. She made her feel special.
Pacey-rae, Mommy has so many stories to share with you about Gramma. Some of them will make you laugh, some will make you feel sorry for Gramma, some will confuse you, but all of them are going to make you wish you could feel her. I am so sorry, honey, that you never got to meet her. She really would have loved you. You would have lit up her world and she would have been so proud to be your Gramma. I know this, because Gramma loved me, and it felt great. I wish you could have that feeling, so Mommy promises that she will tell you everything about Gramma that she knows. All the lessons, the stories, the tips, all of it. You will know your Gramma as much as you can, and if you ever want to know something just ask. Sometimes Mommy might have a little cry when she talks about Gramma, but that is just because she has so much love for Gramma and she misses being able to give her the love and feel her.
I have one more thing to tell you today about your Gramma Linda. She was very talented. She was so crafty and loved making things for people - even people she didn't really know that well. Everyone left with a home made gift at Christmas time - it was just what she did. She was so very generous and thoughtful - I hope to teach you these values because they are so important. Anyhow, my love, Gramma loved knitting and spent a lot of the winter nights knitting. She knit a lot of blankets for babies - and it was her favourite thing to give to a newborn baby because she said it was just like a hug. So, peanut, when I found out you were growing in my tummy, the first thing I did was go to Grampa's house and go into the middle room closet where I knew all those precious blankets were. They were stacked and bundled with love by Gramma - she made sure to cover them with a sheet so they wouldn't get dusty. Mommy picked out a ivory coloured one and guess what? It still smelled a bit like Gramma. Then she was about to leave when she saw it. One single pink baby blanket on the bottom shelf, away from all the other baby blankets. Even though I didn't know if you were a boy or girl, Mommy grabbed it. I always thought you were a girl, and I did not want to lose the chance to give you something so special. So your precious pink blanket sits up in your bedroom waiting to be used. But that ivory one? Oh that one was put to good use the minute you were born. I brought it to the hospital and wrapped you in it, remembering Gramma's thinking that her blankets were like hugs. We call it your "Gramma hug." You sleep with your Gramma hug every night and it brings Mommy some peace to know you are hugged and loved by Gramma Linda, even though she is so far away.
Much love Mousie,
Mommy
Today seems like a really good day to tell you a little about your gramma - your Mommy's mommy. Gramma's name was Linda. That is why your middle name is Linda. She was a really, really good mommy, and your mommy misses her all the time.
When Mommy was small, Gramma made sure that Mommy was happy and safe. She would bring Mommy little treats and play games with her all the time. Gramma taught Mommy songs like The Teddy Bear's Picnic, Let the Sun Shine In, and Scab Sandwich. Gramma was so much fun! She was always Mommy's favourite person to be around. In fact, everyone liked being around her. She always made people feel important and special. I think if your Gramma could, she would have stretched her arms around the whole world to give it a hug - she was just that kind of lady. Your Gramma used to always say to me, "It's not about the things you do with the people you spend your time with, it's not even about how much time you spend with them. The most important thing is how you make them feel." That is one lesson that Mommy remembers every day and I hope to teach it to you, too.
Gramma always had lots of friends. She had her work friends, she had her curling friends, and golf friends. She kept her close friends from when she was in school, and neighbourhood friends, she had friends she met through me and Uncle Ryan, and she had her friends that she met through her Cancer group. She loved being around people. She loved meeting new people and when her and mommy would go to the store, Gramma always made sure to call the cashiers by their names, except you know what honey? Sometimes she didn't read the name right and Mommy would say "Mom, her name was Jamie not Janie." And Gramma would say "Doesn't matter, I just made her day." And she was probably right, because even though she didn't call her by the right name, she told her how she loved her hair, and what a pretty ring she had on, she asked how her day was going and what her plans for the weekend were. She made her feel special.
Pacey-rae, Mommy has so many stories to share with you about Gramma. Some of them will make you laugh, some will make you feel sorry for Gramma, some will confuse you, but all of them are going to make you wish you could feel her. I am so sorry, honey, that you never got to meet her. She really would have loved you. You would have lit up her world and she would have been so proud to be your Gramma. I know this, because Gramma loved me, and it felt great. I wish you could have that feeling, so Mommy promises that she will tell you everything about Gramma that she knows. All the lessons, the stories, the tips, all of it. You will know your Gramma as much as you can, and if you ever want to know something just ask. Sometimes Mommy might have a little cry when she talks about Gramma, but that is just because she has so much love for Gramma and she misses being able to give her the love and feel her.
I have one more thing to tell you today about your Gramma Linda. She was very talented. She was so crafty and loved making things for people - even people she didn't really know that well. Everyone left with a home made gift at Christmas time - it was just what she did. She was so very generous and thoughtful - I hope to teach you these values because they are so important. Anyhow, my love, Gramma loved knitting and spent a lot of the winter nights knitting. She knit a lot of blankets for babies - and it was her favourite thing to give to a newborn baby because she said it was just like a hug. So, peanut, when I found out you were growing in my tummy, the first thing I did was go to Grampa's house and go into the middle room closet where I knew all those precious blankets were. They were stacked and bundled with love by Gramma - she made sure to cover them with a sheet so they wouldn't get dusty. Mommy picked out a ivory coloured one and guess what? It still smelled a bit like Gramma. Then she was about to leave when she saw it. One single pink baby blanket on the bottom shelf, away from all the other baby blankets. Even though I didn't know if you were a boy or girl, Mommy grabbed it. I always thought you were a girl, and I did not want to lose the chance to give you something so special. So your precious pink blanket sits up in your bedroom waiting to be used. But that ivory one? Oh that one was put to good use the minute you were born. I brought it to the hospital and wrapped you in it, remembering Gramma's thinking that her blankets were like hugs. We call it your "Gramma hug." You sleep with your Gramma hug every night and it brings Mommy some peace to know you are hugged and loved by Gramma Linda, even though she is so far away.
Much love Mousie,
Mommy
May 22, 2012
Good morning my sweet girl,
I love mornings with you! You are so smiley and happy and you tell me all sorts of stories with big eyes and expressions! It is the best way to start the day. I know that you make it awfully hard for Daddy to go to work in the morning, and sometimes he is later than he would like to be. Today we are going to have a visit with Auntie Dianne - we will have a good time. She is Gramma's littlest sister. She loves coming to see you and she always says how much you have changed. She is right little mouse. You are stronger every day. You are 3 1/2 months old and you are figuring out that legs are for moving! You tuck up your little knees and you try to push off on them - just a few more months and I think you will be able to scoot, or walk, or roll all over this house! I think we are going to chase you 9/10's of the day! Lately I have been wondering what kind of little girl you will become. I wonder if you will be shy and quiet, or if you will like making people laugh and you will always ham it up. I wonder if you will always include others and have many friends, or if you will be happy with a few good ones. I wonder if you are going to love sports and play hockey and soccer and baseball, or if you will love dancing or singing or playing an instrument. I hope you find something you really love doing and I hope you pursue it. I think you are such a special girl, Pacey-rae. I think you could do anything you set your mind to do, and just like I sing to you, you will shine in this world, I know it. You, like your gramma, will be a show stopper of the soul. You will amaze yourself many times and your daddy and I will always be so proud to be your parents.
Much love
Mommy
May 30, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1338438282.png)
Hello my little Mouse,
I love watching you grow and learn - it absolutely fascinates me. Each day you are doing new things and surprising me more and more! I love our time together. I hope we always have this time together. You might get busy, and mommy might get busy - but lets always be sure, my girl, to spend some of each day with one another. I want to hear all about your day - the big things, the little things, all things. There will be a day when I ask what your day was like and you will say fine or ok. I will say well what happened, and you will say nothing and be annoyed with me for asking. I will weather that storm, because I understand you need this time to be yours, and while we will always have our time, I know that part of you growing into the person you want to be, is figuring out what you want to share with me, and the stuff you want to keep for yourself. Don't be surprised if I ask more than once though! It's never to annoy you, I just will crave being an active part of your life. Maybe you can count to ten and remember it always comes from a good place, it won't seem as irritating!
You certainly have daddy wrapped around your little finger! This week both our works had showers for you. It was really important for Daddy that you looked extra cute for his, so he went out and got you the sweetest little dress from the Gap. You really did look great and Daddy was so proud! Then Mommy and you were out shopping and Mommy was looking for cards for Father's Day, and you were a little fussy. I saw a Grover on the shelf and put it on your lap to keep you settled for a few more minutes - it worked! You loved it! Then when Mommy put him back on the shelf, you started to cry - you looked so sad. I thought it was interesting that you already had that reaction in that situation, so I texted Daddy and told him. He was surprised Mommy would not buy you Grover and when he came home from work, guess what he brought you? That's right - he went to Hallmark right after work and bought you Grover. You were all smiles! I think Daddy is in for a load of trouble! I do love watching him love you and you love him. I love our little family!
Much love,
Mommy
I love watching you grow and learn - it absolutely fascinates me. Each day you are doing new things and surprising me more and more! I love our time together. I hope we always have this time together. You might get busy, and mommy might get busy - but lets always be sure, my girl, to spend some of each day with one another. I want to hear all about your day - the big things, the little things, all things. There will be a day when I ask what your day was like and you will say fine or ok. I will say well what happened, and you will say nothing and be annoyed with me for asking. I will weather that storm, because I understand you need this time to be yours, and while we will always have our time, I know that part of you growing into the person you want to be, is figuring out what you want to share with me, and the stuff you want to keep for yourself. Don't be surprised if I ask more than once though! It's never to annoy you, I just will crave being an active part of your life. Maybe you can count to ten and remember it always comes from a good place, it won't seem as irritating!
You certainly have daddy wrapped around your little finger! This week both our works had showers for you. It was really important for Daddy that you looked extra cute for his, so he went out and got you the sweetest little dress from the Gap. You really did look great and Daddy was so proud! Then Mommy and you were out shopping and Mommy was looking for cards for Father's Day, and you were a little fussy. I saw a Grover on the shelf and put it on your lap to keep you settled for a few more minutes - it worked! You loved it! Then when Mommy put him back on the shelf, you started to cry - you looked so sad. I thought it was interesting that you already had that reaction in that situation, so I texted Daddy and told him. He was surprised Mommy would not buy you Grover and when he came home from work, guess what he brought you? That's right - he went to Hallmark right after work and bought you Grover. You were all smiles! I think Daddy is in for a load of trouble! I do love watching him love you and you love him. I love our little family!
Much love,
Mommy
June 6, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/8294274.jpg)
Dear Pacey,
As I write this letter to you, I am watching you sleep on the monitor - it is one of my favourite things in the world. I love hearing your sleep sounds and watch how you move in your sleep. I often wonder what you dream about. Sometimes in your dreams you let out a soft little cry, and sometimes you wiggle about like a little caterpillar. Other times you smile and one time you even let out a big belly laugh - it was the first time mommy ever heard you laugh and it made my heart glow! I hope you have big, exciting dreams that take you on all sorts of adventures. I hope sleep brings you peace and happiness. It is really the only time of the day love, that your mind is your own and not complicated with the thoughts and ideas of others. I hope you treasure this time, and remember that your dreams are your own and you are entitled to keep every single one of them locked in your mind forever and ever. Unless of course, you make your dreams come true - which would be an altogether wonderful thing for both you and I.
You are so amazing honey! Lately you have been rolling over all the way. It is almost like you have a mental checklist of things you want to do and you just go ahead and do them. You are so strong minded and determined, and I love that about you. I know nothing is going to stop you from doing anything you want. I know you will be like your Gramma and if you want something done, you will waste no time in starting it. Big ideas and nothing in your road - I can't wait! The other thing you are doing is driving me NUTS!!! Everything is going into your mouth! Here is a short list of things you have shoved in your mouth today alone, my hair, your hand, my finger, daddy's napkin, Cosby's tail, the leaf of a plant, a plastic table cloth corner, part of an envelope, and you make several attempts at many other things, but mommy is becoming very skilled at intercepting.
Pretty soon you will be starting solid food and crawling and holding things on your own. Everyday becoming more and more independent. I know that this is how babies grow into children and children grow into teens and teens grow into young adults and young adults to adults. In all that growing, Mouse, don't ever think my love will fade or go away. No matter where we are in this world I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. Keep mine with you always, my girl. It will help you find home when you need it.
Tomorrow we are going to see Miss Ainsley and Nixy at Stroller Fitness! Last time you were certainly not the star - shocker!!! You did a lot of screaming and crying. I think you might have been too hot, bored, or just not upright enough. We will try for a better tomorrow hmmm? Tomorrow you will be the star! Well, you are always my star! I am going to cut this letter short because I have a strong urge to run downstairs and give you a soft little goodnight smoocheroo!
Much Love,
Mommy
As I write this letter to you, I am watching you sleep on the monitor - it is one of my favourite things in the world. I love hearing your sleep sounds and watch how you move in your sleep. I often wonder what you dream about. Sometimes in your dreams you let out a soft little cry, and sometimes you wiggle about like a little caterpillar. Other times you smile and one time you even let out a big belly laugh - it was the first time mommy ever heard you laugh and it made my heart glow! I hope you have big, exciting dreams that take you on all sorts of adventures. I hope sleep brings you peace and happiness. It is really the only time of the day love, that your mind is your own and not complicated with the thoughts and ideas of others. I hope you treasure this time, and remember that your dreams are your own and you are entitled to keep every single one of them locked in your mind forever and ever. Unless of course, you make your dreams come true - which would be an altogether wonderful thing for both you and I.
You are so amazing honey! Lately you have been rolling over all the way. It is almost like you have a mental checklist of things you want to do and you just go ahead and do them. You are so strong minded and determined, and I love that about you. I know nothing is going to stop you from doing anything you want. I know you will be like your Gramma and if you want something done, you will waste no time in starting it. Big ideas and nothing in your road - I can't wait! The other thing you are doing is driving me NUTS!!! Everything is going into your mouth! Here is a short list of things you have shoved in your mouth today alone, my hair, your hand, my finger, daddy's napkin, Cosby's tail, the leaf of a plant, a plastic table cloth corner, part of an envelope, and you make several attempts at many other things, but mommy is becoming very skilled at intercepting.
Pretty soon you will be starting solid food and crawling and holding things on your own. Everyday becoming more and more independent. I know that this is how babies grow into children and children grow into teens and teens grow into young adults and young adults to adults. In all that growing, Mouse, don't ever think my love will fade or go away. No matter where we are in this world I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. Keep mine with you always, my girl. It will help you find home when you need it.
Tomorrow we are going to see Miss Ainsley and Nixy at Stroller Fitness! Last time you were certainly not the star - shocker!!! You did a lot of screaming and crying. I think you might have been too hot, bored, or just not upright enough. We will try for a better tomorrow hmmm? Tomorrow you will be the star! Well, you are always my star! I am going to cut this letter short because I have a strong urge to run downstairs and give you a soft little goodnight smoocheroo!
Much Love,
Mommy
June 28, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1340979893.png)
My sweetest little sunshine,
You are so precious P! Everyday you are getting bigger and bigger and sometimes Mommy just wants to press the pause button in life and sit in some of these special moments with you! You have the best smile - it melts my heart and raises my spirits. I love making you smile, now on the other side of the coin pal, man can you throw down a wicked cry. You make people cry with you it is so gut wrenching! I can't believe we are getting to the 5 month mark! You have grown so much, learned so much, and become such an important little person to so many people who adore you.
Lately, my girl, you have been making strange - but the doctor says that is a good thing. He says that you are recognizing mommy and daddy and that you know that you are safe and loved with us. He says that when you see other people you are unsure of, you don't have the same safe feelings - but honey, you're gonna get there. We try new things everyday to get you used to it. Some work, others don't, and because you like keeping Mommy on her toes, the same thing never seems to work twice! Mommy and Daddy took you to a new doctor, Dr. Lazar. He is AWESOME!!! He is almost like a character from a kids show on television. He was so happy to meet you and he kept calling you beautiful and booboola and booboo - all things that make a Mommy very happy to hear. He did your four month shots - no biggie - you are so brave and strong. He also did all your weight, and height and entered them in this cool computer program and showed us the graph that you made. Then he said...you aren't even going to believe it, Mouse, he said, "You couldn't have a more perfect baby!" I mean come on - what mother does not want to hear that! I was so proud of you! He is right you are absolutely perfect and wonderful and I love you so so so much!
You are very interested in the puppies lately. You like to get down on the ground and go nose to nose with them. You are so gentle when you touch them and you get big smiles when they walk by you. If you are sitting up high, you like watching them and sometimes you like to coo at them. And you know what, Mouse, they love you too! They love being around you! Saedi is the perfect fur sister and Cosby is the perfect fur brother! It is so fun to watch you interact and notice them.
My big girl, you are starting to sit up on your own now. You can't do it for very long, but you definitely know how to do it. You also have the mechanics of crawling, you move your knees and try to pull but you are so so smart and clever Pacey-rae that you have figured out that it is much easier to push back than it is to pull forward, so you are moving - only backwards. Which brings me to my advice for you about moving backwards - never sit in yesterday, my girl, use yesterday as a tool to help you through today and prepare for tomorrow. It's deep - sometimes I get like that. I can't wait to hear you say "Really mom? really?" then roll your eyes and complain how you don't have any new clothes and dad won't let you take the car and why do you have to come home so much earlier than the other kids. To that I am already saying "Really Mouse? Really?"
Even when you flip your switch. Even when you swat at my face when I feed you. Even when you scratch up my hands. Even when you scream at me. I will always love you, for now, for ever, for always.
Much Love,
Mommy
You are so precious P! Everyday you are getting bigger and bigger and sometimes Mommy just wants to press the pause button in life and sit in some of these special moments with you! You have the best smile - it melts my heart and raises my spirits. I love making you smile, now on the other side of the coin pal, man can you throw down a wicked cry. You make people cry with you it is so gut wrenching! I can't believe we are getting to the 5 month mark! You have grown so much, learned so much, and become such an important little person to so many people who adore you.
Lately, my girl, you have been making strange - but the doctor says that is a good thing. He says that you are recognizing mommy and daddy and that you know that you are safe and loved with us. He says that when you see other people you are unsure of, you don't have the same safe feelings - but honey, you're gonna get there. We try new things everyday to get you used to it. Some work, others don't, and because you like keeping Mommy on her toes, the same thing never seems to work twice! Mommy and Daddy took you to a new doctor, Dr. Lazar. He is AWESOME!!! He is almost like a character from a kids show on television. He was so happy to meet you and he kept calling you beautiful and booboola and booboo - all things that make a Mommy very happy to hear. He did your four month shots - no biggie - you are so brave and strong. He also did all your weight, and height and entered them in this cool computer program and showed us the graph that you made. Then he said...you aren't even going to believe it, Mouse, he said, "You couldn't have a more perfect baby!" I mean come on - what mother does not want to hear that! I was so proud of you! He is right you are absolutely perfect and wonderful and I love you so so so much!
You are very interested in the puppies lately. You like to get down on the ground and go nose to nose with them. You are so gentle when you touch them and you get big smiles when they walk by you. If you are sitting up high, you like watching them and sometimes you like to coo at them. And you know what, Mouse, they love you too! They love being around you! Saedi is the perfect fur sister and Cosby is the perfect fur brother! It is so fun to watch you interact and notice them.
My big girl, you are starting to sit up on your own now. You can't do it for very long, but you definitely know how to do it. You also have the mechanics of crawling, you move your knees and try to pull but you are so so smart and clever Pacey-rae that you have figured out that it is much easier to push back than it is to pull forward, so you are moving - only backwards. Which brings me to my advice for you about moving backwards - never sit in yesterday, my girl, use yesterday as a tool to help you through today and prepare for tomorrow. It's deep - sometimes I get like that. I can't wait to hear you say "Really mom? really?" then roll your eyes and complain how you don't have any new clothes and dad won't let you take the car and why do you have to come home so much earlier than the other kids. To that I am already saying "Really Mouse? Really?"
Even when you flip your switch. Even when you swat at my face when I feed you. Even when you scratch up my hands. Even when you scream at me. I will always love you, for now, for ever, for always.
Much Love,
Mommy
July 1, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/5799164.jpg?231)
Happy 1st Canada Day Mouse!
Today will be an exciting day! Mommy and Daddy are busy getting ready for some special guests. Today you get to see Gramma again! You haven't seen her since you were just a wee 3 weeks old! I know for a fact, that Gramma is so excited to see you! She has been counting down the days for a while now. The real exciting part is that you get to meet your Auntie Lyn! This is Daddy's little sister. She lives in Denver, where Gramma lives. Just like Mommy, Auntie Lyn is a teacher. She loves working with little children and helping them grow and learn. I bet she will want to teach you something new when she comes!
Today will be an exciting day! Mommy and Daddy are busy getting ready for some special guests. Today you get to see Gramma again! You haven't seen her since you were just a wee 3 weeks old! I know for a fact, that Gramma is so excited to see you! She has been counting down the days for a while now. The real exciting part is that you get to meet your Auntie Lyn! This is Daddy's little sister. She lives in Denver, where Gramma lives. Just like Mommy, Auntie Lyn is a teacher. She loves working with little children and helping them grow and learn. I bet she will want to teach you something new when she comes!
We are going to show Gramma where we take our Stroller Bootcamp at Fort Whyte. I think we are going to do the long hike on Lakeside Trail. That will be so nice! We are also going to make sure Gramma gets to Cora's for breakfast one day, and also that she gets enough cuddle time with you of course! Who knows what else we will do ... maybe a trip to the Forks, or a walk on Academy, or maybe we will go to Assiniboine Park if they get here early enough.
Gramma and Auntie Lyn are coming a long way honey, just to see you - that is very special. You are a lucky little girl to have so many people love and care for you. As you get bigger, you must remember to say thank you when these people do something special for you. Don't worry mousie, mommy will remind you!
This is a quick little letter because Mommy can hear Daddy asking her to help him with something!!!
Much love, keep sleeping for at least another 30 minutes p
July 8, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/2269884.jpg?215)
Dear Pacey-rae,
Why, oh why must you be so darn cute? Things would be so much more easier on my wallet if you were a little more hideous or repulsive, but no, you just had to go ahead and be the most beautiful baby on earth - and Mommy is not exaggerating. Oh no, most certainly not, do you know that every single time Mommy takes you somewhere, at least one person will stop us to admire you and tell Mommy how precious you are, or how cute you are. I love meeting honest people like that, they make my heart sing and my soul chime in.
I am starting to think that my "friends"- Sunshine from eChildren, Lauren and Jen at Lux for Sprouts, Katie from The Children's Place, and we can't forget Natalie from the Polo Park BabyGap and Serge from the St. Vital BabyGap - are not my friends at all. Daddy says they smell me a mile away. He laughs when we go in and I chat them up like we are true buddies and then they just have to show me this cute little number they got in. And did I know it was buy one get one half price today? And did I see the shoes that matched? And did you see it also comes in blue and purple? I think he is right P. They smell me a mile away. I am onto them and their insincere friendship my girl. I will not be quite so friendly this week when we frequent our shopping stops, and I might only buy one or two or six items for you. We'll see.
I was going through your closet this morning while you napped. You have some really beautiful clothes and many of them are gifts from special people who love and care about you. I also checked the stats on this little website I set up for you - did you know Mousie that daily, this site, all about you, is averaging 34 hits??? That is crazy! That means that on average (we can talk about this when you are around 11 - so that you are ready for Grade Seven math before it hits you), but really, on average there are thirty four people who are interested in you and want to see you and learn about you. Daddy says you are more popular than us!!! I agree - but as I say to Auntie Judi all the time, who doesn't want to see Pacey?
Honey, you must never ever take for granted these people who care for you, you must show them all the time that you care back. If you forget one day, than the very next day, you make sure you do what you wanted to do, or say what you wanted to say the day before. Never underestimate the power of a kind word, a hug, or a smile. If someone is being bossy, or mean, or just plain grumpy - don't let them take from your happy heart, keep the power of love and kindness and instead give to them from your happy heart. Share a compliment or a joke, smile before you walk away, or ask if you can help. You will always feel powerful and good about yourself, if you remain true to your happy heart.
Somedays, love, your heart won't feel happy, and you will feel like your ship is sinking. On these days, you must call out for help. You can always tell mommy or daddy. You can call Grampa, or any of your aunts and uncles, you can call your cousins. Find a friend, do something fun, read a book, or just have a real good cry with your favourite stuffie. Try very hard not to let your ship go under, try your best to be your best, even when your best is hiding and grumpy. Mommy always tells her "kids" at school to smile through their grumps. I am sure you will hear this a lot as you grow.
Use your happy memories as a tool to guide your ship home, and use your love for your family and friends as an anchor to hold you steady. You are never alone, my girl. Gramma Linda used to always tell Mommy that the value of coming from a family as big as ours is that no matter where you go, how far you travel, and wherever you settle, you will never, ever be alone. Know this, honey, know it in your heart. You are loved by so many people who care about you and want only good things for you. Let them love you, let them help you, let them hold you until you can hold yourself again.
You are strong, and you are beautiful, and you are always my baby and no matter what, no matter where, and no matter when my heart is full of Pacey-rae Linda, always and forever.
Much Love,
Mommy
Why, oh why must you be so darn cute? Things would be so much more easier on my wallet if you were a little more hideous or repulsive, but no, you just had to go ahead and be the most beautiful baby on earth - and Mommy is not exaggerating. Oh no, most certainly not, do you know that every single time Mommy takes you somewhere, at least one person will stop us to admire you and tell Mommy how precious you are, or how cute you are. I love meeting honest people like that, they make my heart sing and my soul chime in.
I am starting to think that my "friends"- Sunshine from eChildren, Lauren and Jen at Lux for Sprouts, Katie from The Children's Place, and we can't forget Natalie from the Polo Park BabyGap and Serge from the St. Vital BabyGap - are not my friends at all. Daddy says they smell me a mile away. He laughs when we go in and I chat them up like we are true buddies and then they just have to show me this cute little number they got in. And did I know it was buy one get one half price today? And did I see the shoes that matched? And did you see it also comes in blue and purple? I think he is right P. They smell me a mile away. I am onto them and their insincere friendship my girl. I will not be quite so friendly this week when we frequent our shopping stops, and I might only buy one or two or six items for you. We'll see.
I was going through your closet this morning while you napped. You have some really beautiful clothes and many of them are gifts from special people who love and care about you. I also checked the stats on this little website I set up for you - did you know Mousie that daily, this site, all about you, is averaging 34 hits??? That is crazy! That means that on average (we can talk about this when you are around 11 - so that you are ready for Grade Seven math before it hits you), but really, on average there are thirty four people who are interested in you and want to see you and learn about you. Daddy says you are more popular than us!!! I agree - but as I say to Auntie Judi all the time, who doesn't want to see Pacey?
Honey, you must never ever take for granted these people who care for you, you must show them all the time that you care back. If you forget one day, than the very next day, you make sure you do what you wanted to do, or say what you wanted to say the day before. Never underestimate the power of a kind word, a hug, or a smile. If someone is being bossy, or mean, or just plain grumpy - don't let them take from your happy heart, keep the power of love and kindness and instead give to them from your happy heart. Share a compliment or a joke, smile before you walk away, or ask if you can help. You will always feel powerful and good about yourself, if you remain true to your happy heart.
Somedays, love, your heart won't feel happy, and you will feel like your ship is sinking. On these days, you must call out for help. You can always tell mommy or daddy. You can call Grampa, or any of your aunts and uncles, you can call your cousins. Find a friend, do something fun, read a book, or just have a real good cry with your favourite stuffie. Try very hard not to let your ship go under, try your best to be your best, even when your best is hiding and grumpy. Mommy always tells her "kids" at school to smile through their grumps. I am sure you will hear this a lot as you grow.
Use your happy memories as a tool to guide your ship home, and use your love for your family and friends as an anchor to hold you steady. You are never alone, my girl. Gramma Linda used to always tell Mommy that the value of coming from a family as big as ours is that no matter where you go, how far you travel, and wherever you settle, you will never, ever be alone. Know this, honey, know it in your heart. You are loved by so many people who care about you and want only good things for you. Let them love you, let them help you, let them hold you until you can hold yourself again.
You are strong, and you are beautiful, and you are always my baby and no matter what, no matter where, and no matter when my heart is full of Pacey-rae Linda, always and forever.
Much Love,
Mommy
July 20. 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1342799298.jpg)
Dear Pacey-rae,
I am just writing to you as you have your morning nap, I seem to do a lot of writing to you during your nap times. The house is quiet and my mind is busy. My heart is full of love, and my soul is just filled. I am so grateful. Being grateful is something I hope you feel everyday. I want you to appreciate the little things in life. Today in my letter, love, I want to tell you what I feel grateful for. Sit tight, relax, and enjoy.
I am grateful for this quiet moment. It is mine, all mine, and I love it. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I am grateful for this abundance of heat we are enjoying in our cold for 8 months a year place we call home. I welcome the warmth with an open heart and a smile on my face.
I am grateful for the soft spot in the living room couch where I do all my important thinking. I sort through all the things I want to do and all the things I need to do. I make my mental checklist as I watch people walk their dogs and the mailman deliver his mail with a smile because it is Friday and he can't wait to crack a couple of cold ones out at his lake. How do I know this? Because I asked. Why did I ask? I am grateful we have our mailman, Mike, to deliver our mail everyday. I am grateful he is thoughtful enough that if there is a package, he just leaves it on the front table because he "doesn't want to wake the baby." This spot on the couch I love because it is cozy, comfortable, and I can see all the pictures of you that are scattered throughout the living room.
I am grateful for my sweet little mousie, sleeping in the next room. She has one arm slung over her face, and the other hand clenched tightly around her pip leash, never wanting it to fall out. Her hair is softly laying against the tweet tweet blanket and Wibbly pig is nuzzled close behind her. I am grateful for the dreams that dance in her little head, and the soft sleep sounds she makes that melt my heart. She is my perfect angel, and oh so very easy to love and adore.
I am grateful for the Precious Moments figurines that mean so much to me. Each one chosen just for me by Auntie Sue or Auntie Dianne, given to me by Sheri-lyn or Krista every Christmas. The one for sure gift I could always count on. I am grateful to pass them down to Pacey-rae and tell her all about these special people. I am grateful they are still in production and I can buy her, her own special Precious Moment memories, each one hand painted with wonderful detailing and warm and loving hopes and wishes.
I am grateful for the creamy white little ball of fluff that begs to be picked up and cuddled, and growls the whole time you touch her. I love Saedi's quirky little ways and how she uses her little paws like a kitten to clean her face. I am grateful for her sharp bark - never allowing anyone to sneak up on us. I am grateful for her unconditional love and her unconventional ways. I am grateful for all the clothes she patiently lets mommy put on her when I ask her "Wanna put something on?" She is our bébé.
I am grateful for this little hot mess we call Cosby. I love his playfulness and free spirit. I am grateful for how gentle he is and how freely he loves us. His warm licks lighting up moments that need a little light shining on them. I love his messy fur, his happy eyes, his wagging tail, and his long early morning stretches. I am grateful for the depth of his love. He is always up for a good snuggle, and sometimes at the end of a hard day, a good snuggle fixes everything. Oh, I am grateful for really good snuggles!
I am grateful for memories. Some are old, some are new. Some are sad, some are funny, and some make me smile a soft what a great day kind of smile. I am grateful to own the memories I have had - each and everyone of them have played a big part in making me who I am. I like who I am, I am grateful for that too. Memories are the way life reminds us of the lessons we have learned or should have learned. I am grateful that they are safely tucked in all the right places of my brain, ready to come out just when I need them to work their magic in a moment.
I am grateful for time to bake things for people I love. I am grateful to make ninjabread men for my husband, muffins for my friends, birthday cakes for birthday people, and soft warm pretzels for me. I am grateful for my mixer that makes baking life so much more easier and my kitchen a whole lot more clean.
I am grateful for my morning and evening calls to Dad. I like when he says "hi there," and tells me about something funny that happened. I am grateful he calls me as much as I call him, maybe even more. I am grateful he keeps me in check and still is my Dad after all these years. I am grateful for all the "I love you's" the "don't forget to's," and the "you know what you should do's." He is my Dad, my one and only Dad and I love him so very much. He is special and wonderful, and I am grateful for every moment with him, even when we "lock horns."
I am grateful for this small home, our home. It is full of love and growing with memories. Sure there are things that need repairing, reorganizing, or just a fresh face - but it is ours, and it feels like home. At night, I close my eyes and listen to the gentle beat of our house heart. I love our little home.
I am grateful for words. I love words, I like how they dance and play to make different thoughts and ideas. I love how you can own them and make them do anything you want and express exactly what you need to. Words are so powerful and I am grateful that the people I love and care for, appreciate this, and are so careful when they choose the words they use.
I am grateful for Granny Smith. I am grateful for all the little life lessons I hear in my brain that I know I picked up from her. I am careful not to leave fingerprints on glass. I know to add a little mustard to egg salad to give it a little kick and your mouth a smile. I remember to love everyone just like Jesus. I take time to admire all the bee-yoo-tiful things in the world. And when I look at my family, I couldn't agree more Granny - there's still not an ugly one in the bunch!
I am grateful for the aloha I found in Maui. It was peaceful, it was ours. I loved it, I continue to apply it to my everyday.
I am grateful for happy surprises and random acts of kindness. They are not always for me, but I see them each and everyday, reminding me that even though the headlines tell us of inhumane horrible things, there is good in the world, there is kindness and care and joy. I celebrate these moments, they inspire me, they centre me and keep my heart open.
I am grateful for happy mail - notes from friends, family, and neighbours. I am so grateful for friendships that grow deeper throughout the years. I am grateful for the people I have chosen to be in my life, and those who have chosen me. They are so precious and special and they all mean so much to me. Support, kindness, generosity, laughter, and most of all time - all things I am grateful to share with these friends of mine. I love you so much!!!
I am grateful for daily text messages that brighten my day!
I am grateful for sneak attacks from mom. It might be a card I kept from when I was 22 or a note she tucked in my shcool bag when I was 9. It might be a photograph of us on a ferris wheel, or a pair of earrings I pull out of my drawer. Maybe it is the indescribable urge I have to use the name on a name tag at Shopper's Drug Mart, or the need to but my nose into other people's business when they are contemplating white or beige sheets - beige of course, white shows everything!!! It could be a blouse at Nygard that I know she would have loved, or a moment observed between a mother and daughter sharing a meal and laughter over lunch at Joey's. I am grateful to remember and love the mom I have. Thank you for continuing to surprise me.
I am so very grateful for a man who tells me he loves me with no hesitation. He rubs my back when he senses it's been a long day. He holds my hand when it is crowded and kisses me before he goes to work each morning. When he holds our daughter, my heart sings so strong and loud. I am grateful for the things we have been given, and more grateful for the things we work so hard to achieve. I am grateful for us - our friendship, our marriage, our love.
Most of all, quite simply, I am absolutely, most definitely grateful for this life of mine.
I cannot wait to read your grateful list P! I know it will make me proud.
Much love,
Mommy
I am just writing to you as you have your morning nap, I seem to do a lot of writing to you during your nap times. The house is quiet and my mind is busy. My heart is full of love, and my soul is just filled. I am so grateful. Being grateful is something I hope you feel everyday. I want you to appreciate the little things in life. Today in my letter, love, I want to tell you what I feel grateful for. Sit tight, relax, and enjoy.
I am grateful for this quiet moment. It is mine, all mine, and I love it. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I am grateful for this abundance of heat we are enjoying in our cold for 8 months a year place we call home. I welcome the warmth with an open heart and a smile on my face.
I am grateful for the soft spot in the living room couch where I do all my important thinking. I sort through all the things I want to do and all the things I need to do. I make my mental checklist as I watch people walk their dogs and the mailman deliver his mail with a smile because it is Friday and he can't wait to crack a couple of cold ones out at his lake. How do I know this? Because I asked. Why did I ask? I am grateful we have our mailman, Mike, to deliver our mail everyday. I am grateful he is thoughtful enough that if there is a package, he just leaves it on the front table because he "doesn't want to wake the baby." This spot on the couch I love because it is cozy, comfortable, and I can see all the pictures of you that are scattered throughout the living room.
I am grateful for my sweet little mousie, sleeping in the next room. She has one arm slung over her face, and the other hand clenched tightly around her pip leash, never wanting it to fall out. Her hair is softly laying against the tweet tweet blanket and Wibbly pig is nuzzled close behind her. I am grateful for the dreams that dance in her little head, and the soft sleep sounds she makes that melt my heart. She is my perfect angel, and oh so very easy to love and adore.
I am grateful for the Precious Moments figurines that mean so much to me. Each one chosen just for me by Auntie Sue or Auntie Dianne, given to me by Sheri-lyn or Krista every Christmas. The one for sure gift I could always count on. I am grateful to pass them down to Pacey-rae and tell her all about these special people. I am grateful they are still in production and I can buy her, her own special Precious Moment memories, each one hand painted with wonderful detailing and warm and loving hopes and wishes.
I am grateful for the creamy white little ball of fluff that begs to be picked up and cuddled, and growls the whole time you touch her. I love Saedi's quirky little ways and how she uses her little paws like a kitten to clean her face. I am grateful for her sharp bark - never allowing anyone to sneak up on us. I am grateful for her unconditional love and her unconventional ways. I am grateful for all the clothes she patiently lets mommy put on her when I ask her "Wanna put something on?" She is our bébé.
I am grateful for this little hot mess we call Cosby. I love his playfulness and free spirit. I am grateful for how gentle he is and how freely he loves us. His warm licks lighting up moments that need a little light shining on them. I love his messy fur, his happy eyes, his wagging tail, and his long early morning stretches. I am grateful for the depth of his love. He is always up for a good snuggle, and sometimes at the end of a hard day, a good snuggle fixes everything. Oh, I am grateful for really good snuggles!
I am grateful for memories. Some are old, some are new. Some are sad, some are funny, and some make me smile a soft what a great day kind of smile. I am grateful to own the memories I have had - each and everyone of them have played a big part in making me who I am. I like who I am, I am grateful for that too. Memories are the way life reminds us of the lessons we have learned or should have learned. I am grateful that they are safely tucked in all the right places of my brain, ready to come out just when I need them to work their magic in a moment.
I am grateful for time to bake things for people I love. I am grateful to make ninjabread men for my husband, muffins for my friends, birthday cakes for birthday people, and soft warm pretzels for me. I am grateful for my mixer that makes baking life so much more easier and my kitchen a whole lot more clean.
I am grateful for my morning and evening calls to Dad. I like when he says "hi there," and tells me about something funny that happened. I am grateful he calls me as much as I call him, maybe even more. I am grateful he keeps me in check and still is my Dad after all these years. I am grateful for all the "I love you's" the "don't forget to's," and the "you know what you should do's." He is my Dad, my one and only Dad and I love him so very much. He is special and wonderful, and I am grateful for every moment with him, even when we "lock horns."
I am grateful for this small home, our home. It is full of love and growing with memories. Sure there are things that need repairing, reorganizing, or just a fresh face - but it is ours, and it feels like home. At night, I close my eyes and listen to the gentle beat of our house heart. I love our little home.
I am grateful for words. I love words, I like how they dance and play to make different thoughts and ideas. I love how you can own them and make them do anything you want and express exactly what you need to. Words are so powerful and I am grateful that the people I love and care for, appreciate this, and are so careful when they choose the words they use.
I am grateful for Granny Smith. I am grateful for all the little life lessons I hear in my brain that I know I picked up from her. I am careful not to leave fingerprints on glass. I know to add a little mustard to egg salad to give it a little kick and your mouth a smile. I remember to love everyone just like Jesus. I take time to admire all the bee-yoo-tiful things in the world. And when I look at my family, I couldn't agree more Granny - there's still not an ugly one in the bunch!
I am grateful for the aloha I found in Maui. It was peaceful, it was ours. I loved it, I continue to apply it to my everyday.
I am grateful for happy surprises and random acts of kindness. They are not always for me, but I see them each and everyday, reminding me that even though the headlines tell us of inhumane horrible things, there is good in the world, there is kindness and care and joy. I celebrate these moments, they inspire me, they centre me and keep my heart open.
I am grateful for happy mail - notes from friends, family, and neighbours. I am so grateful for friendships that grow deeper throughout the years. I am grateful for the people I have chosen to be in my life, and those who have chosen me. They are so precious and special and they all mean so much to me. Support, kindness, generosity, laughter, and most of all time - all things I am grateful to share with these friends of mine. I love you so much!!!
I am grateful for daily text messages that brighten my day!
I am grateful for sneak attacks from mom. It might be a card I kept from when I was 22 or a note she tucked in my shcool bag when I was 9. It might be a photograph of us on a ferris wheel, or a pair of earrings I pull out of my drawer. Maybe it is the indescribable urge I have to use the name on a name tag at Shopper's Drug Mart, or the need to but my nose into other people's business when they are contemplating white or beige sheets - beige of course, white shows everything!!! It could be a blouse at Nygard that I know she would have loved, or a moment observed between a mother and daughter sharing a meal and laughter over lunch at Joey's. I am grateful to remember and love the mom I have. Thank you for continuing to surprise me.
I am so very grateful for a man who tells me he loves me with no hesitation. He rubs my back when he senses it's been a long day. He holds my hand when it is crowded and kisses me before he goes to work each morning. When he holds our daughter, my heart sings so strong and loud. I am grateful for the things we have been given, and more grateful for the things we work so hard to achieve. I am grateful for us - our friendship, our marriage, our love.
Most of all, quite simply, I am absolutely, most definitely grateful for this life of mine.
I cannot wait to read your grateful list P! I know it will make me proud.
Much love,
Mommy
August 11, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/2203967.jpg)
Dear Mouse,
Oh my baby ... stop growing!!! Each day that passes you are learning something new and you can't wait to put it to practice. You are so independent, which, when Mommy makes dinner or folds laundry, is actually quite lovely, but Mommy loves her little baby so much. I love rocking you and cuddling and playing. I love giving you a bottle and picking you up out of your crib in the morning. I love all these special little moments, and they really are only such a small fragment of your big life. In a blink, we will be discussing what school you will go to, in a sniff, we will be watching you spread your wings and discover your talents, in a heartbeat we will follow your dreams, taking an active seat on the sideline to cheer you on as you live your amazing life.
Tonight as I write this to you, you are sitting with daddy on the deck. You keep trying to get his iPhone - which is probably obsolete by the time you read this letter and kind of makes me feel slightly ancient. Daddy is so good to you. He is making funny faces and giving you kisses. He keeps telling Mommy, 'Honestly babe, she is SO cute. Like all babies are cute, but P is just so cute." Sometimes Daddy gets really excited with you and I have to tell him to settle down, but you love it! You love when he bounces you and flies you around in the air like an airplane. Your Daddy is so in love with you, P. He would do anything for you - well except change your poopy diapers (which are entirely disgusting these days with the solids you are eating).
Six months old! You are such a big girl! So smart, so funny, and well just the total package. We couldn't have asked for a better baby, my girl. You make our day every single day. Daddy and I were just talking about all the fun we had when we were younger, before you brightened up our hearts. We used to go to the beach, play in weekend softball tournaments, go camping, to movies, hang out with friends - all of it on a whim. We loved all the fun we had, but we both agreed that given the choice now, both Daddy and I would give up any of those activities to spend our time with you. It is so fun watching you use your hands, and try to chew your feet. We get excited when you make a new sound, and we panic and run like chickens without heads when you make the slightest cry. Our goal of everyday is to get a big belly laugh out of you. Mommy's trick is to nibble on your feet and make growling sounds. Daddy likes to give you a good tickle with a duck sound. I got to tell you, Mouse, you are sure cheap with the belly laughs. You really like to make us work for it. We love the challenge though. You always reward our efforts at least with a big smile.
I am laughing now because you are trying to actually eat Daddy's phone. You are so ridiculous! My favourite kind of ridiculous.
Much love,
Mommy
Oh my baby ... stop growing!!! Each day that passes you are learning something new and you can't wait to put it to practice. You are so independent, which, when Mommy makes dinner or folds laundry, is actually quite lovely, but Mommy loves her little baby so much. I love rocking you and cuddling and playing. I love giving you a bottle and picking you up out of your crib in the morning. I love all these special little moments, and they really are only such a small fragment of your big life. In a blink, we will be discussing what school you will go to, in a sniff, we will be watching you spread your wings and discover your talents, in a heartbeat we will follow your dreams, taking an active seat on the sideline to cheer you on as you live your amazing life.
Tonight as I write this to you, you are sitting with daddy on the deck. You keep trying to get his iPhone - which is probably obsolete by the time you read this letter and kind of makes me feel slightly ancient. Daddy is so good to you. He is making funny faces and giving you kisses. He keeps telling Mommy, 'Honestly babe, she is SO cute. Like all babies are cute, but P is just so cute." Sometimes Daddy gets really excited with you and I have to tell him to settle down, but you love it! You love when he bounces you and flies you around in the air like an airplane. Your Daddy is so in love with you, P. He would do anything for you - well except change your poopy diapers (which are entirely disgusting these days with the solids you are eating).
Six months old! You are such a big girl! So smart, so funny, and well just the total package. We couldn't have asked for a better baby, my girl. You make our day every single day. Daddy and I were just talking about all the fun we had when we were younger, before you brightened up our hearts. We used to go to the beach, play in weekend softball tournaments, go camping, to movies, hang out with friends - all of it on a whim. We loved all the fun we had, but we both agreed that given the choice now, both Daddy and I would give up any of those activities to spend our time with you. It is so fun watching you use your hands, and try to chew your feet. We get excited when you make a new sound, and we panic and run like chickens without heads when you make the slightest cry. Our goal of everyday is to get a big belly laugh out of you. Mommy's trick is to nibble on your feet and make growling sounds. Daddy likes to give you a good tickle with a duck sound. I got to tell you, Mouse, you are sure cheap with the belly laughs. You really like to make us work for it. We love the challenge though. You always reward our efforts at least with a big smile.
I am laughing now because you are trying to actually eat Daddy's phone. You are so ridiculous! My favourite kind of ridiculous.
Much love,
Mommy
August 19, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/4387093.jpg)
Dear Pacey-rae,
This morning, you and I went for a run. You loved it, you were squealing and laughing as we ran through the forest. Grampa does not like us to go alone in the forest. He is right and I don't often go in there, but today we went because there were loads of city workers in there. It is really so peaceful in there and today it was full of dragon flies. Someday I will tell you what that means, someday. It was really hot out today, so we just did a short run and came back home. By the time we were home you were already fast asleep, but so sweaty.
Daddy and I are so lucky that you are our baby. You are the perfect baby for us! You are playful and silly and fun. You are determined and serious. But, and you will be surprised that I love this about you, but you have a very strong mind, a stubbornness that cannot be ignored, and a red hot little temper that flares up so very rarely (lucky). I love it, because it means you already have some skills to help you in life, my girl. I know you won't let others take advantage of you. I know that you will always do what feels right to you, not what is right for others. I know that you will always want to do it on your own first before you let someone do it for you. These are good qualities, useful ones. They will help you manage challenges and succeed.
I am already so proud of how you handle yourself. I love it when you throw bananas at me, I really do. I love when I change your diaper and you roll around all willy nilly and try to grab the new diaper, the old diaper, a few wipes, and really whatever else is in the vicinity. I love the look you give me when you know you have not succeeded at something, but you are figuring out your plan B. You look very thoughtful and reflective, almost to say "I've got this mom, just one more try." And you know what, my baby, I believe you, whole heartedly. So I ignore the voice in my brain that tells me to "get off my butt and pass her the car she can't reach." I am glad I ignore it, because nothing makes my heart happier than when you look at me with that big grin - as Grampa would say "The cocky Smith grin," and it's like you are saying "See mommy, I knew I could do it." My Mousie, you keep shining, my girl, just keep shining.
Much love,
Mommy
This morning, you and I went for a run. You loved it, you were squealing and laughing as we ran through the forest. Grampa does not like us to go alone in the forest. He is right and I don't often go in there, but today we went because there were loads of city workers in there. It is really so peaceful in there and today it was full of dragon flies. Someday I will tell you what that means, someday. It was really hot out today, so we just did a short run and came back home. By the time we were home you were already fast asleep, but so sweaty.
Daddy and I are so lucky that you are our baby. You are the perfect baby for us! You are playful and silly and fun. You are determined and serious. But, and you will be surprised that I love this about you, but you have a very strong mind, a stubbornness that cannot be ignored, and a red hot little temper that flares up so very rarely (lucky). I love it, because it means you already have some skills to help you in life, my girl. I know you won't let others take advantage of you. I know that you will always do what feels right to you, not what is right for others. I know that you will always want to do it on your own first before you let someone do it for you. These are good qualities, useful ones. They will help you manage challenges and succeed.
I am already so proud of how you handle yourself. I love it when you throw bananas at me, I really do. I love when I change your diaper and you roll around all willy nilly and try to grab the new diaper, the old diaper, a few wipes, and really whatever else is in the vicinity. I love the look you give me when you know you have not succeeded at something, but you are figuring out your plan B. You look very thoughtful and reflective, almost to say "I've got this mom, just one more try." And you know what, my baby, I believe you, whole heartedly. So I ignore the voice in my brain that tells me to "get off my butt and pass her the car she can't reach." I am glad I ignore it, because nothing makes my heart happier than when you look at me with that big grin - as Grampa would say "The cocky Smith grin," and it's like you are saying "See mommy, I knew I could do it." My Mousie, you keep shining, my girl, just keep shining.
Much love,
Mommy
August 27, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/7889867.jpg?207)
Hello my big girl.
I was thinking today of all the hopes I have for you in your life. I was thinking how full I want it to be. So todays letter, my love, is not so much a letter, as it is a list. A list of hopes that mommy has for you. I am sure it is probably not the first hope letter I have written you, nor will it be the last. But, tuck it away, Pacey-rae, and when you wonder what you should do next, pull it out and read what mommy hoped for you and see if any of them match up to what you hope for yourself.
1. I hope you have love in your life. I hope you feel loved every single day. I hope you love yourself completely. I hope you remember the road from your heart to mommy and daddy's is so short and easily travelled and the door is always open, any time of the day. I will always want a hug or a kiss. I will always want you to come home when your own road gets too hard and things seem heavy. Let mommy help lighten your load, baby, even if just a little. That's a mommy's job and I need lot's of practice to be good at it.
2. I hope you wonder. I hope every single day of your life, you stop to contemplate something that catches your eye. I hope the little things amaze you in life and you remember there are so many of them that just naturally occur in this world. I want you to ask a million and eleven questions and when you hear an answer, I hope you ask again just to clarify your understanding.
3. I hope you dream big and plan wisely. I want you to achieve all you want in this world, no matter how out of touch the dream is. Remember that the dream is just the end of the journey, my girl, the fun is in the planning and how you get there. I hope you make big plans and I hope you try them. I hope you have the wear with all and common sense to know when the plan is not working, but the creativity to know it doesn't mean the dream doesn't work, you just need to re-evaluate, re-adjust to create a new and better plan.
4. I hope you always listen before you talk. I want you to know that the best things are learned when you listen, not when you talk. If you are always waiting and planning for what you can say next, you will have missed someone's important story. Everyone has a chance to be heard, and so will you. Listen and learn first, and speak kindly and carefully. Words are tools. I hope you use yours to help not hurt.
5. I hope you laugh. I hope you laugh right from the belly. And honey, I don't care if it is inappropriate, or no one else is laughing - if it is funny, laugh your heart out. Life is too short to hold back, especially for laughing. It is the best stress relief on earth. Remember to laugh at yourself before you laugh at others. Your heart will be light and your mind will be relaxed if you remember to laugh your day away. Laugh big, laugh hard, laugh until you can't even hear yourself laughing.
6. I hope life treats you well. I hope opportunities occur for you and you don't have to wait too long or work too hard to get where you need to be.
7. That being said, it is appropriate that I say I hope you develop and maintain a strong work ethic that extends beyond school or careers. I hope if someone calls for a helping hand you say yes before you say no. I hope you offer your help before someone asks you for it. I hope you notice, appreciate and celebrate the effort you put into your work and the successes you have because of it.
8. I hope you play as hard as you work. Discover your natural talents and explore your interests. Take lessons, read books, learn, learn, learn. Play, play, play. The world is your playground forever. Never ever stop playing.
9. I hope you are well read. I hope many things interest you and you explore them with your eyes and brain. I hope you think about things outside of the box that you read and not just accept them because they are written and published. Own your own mind, P. It's yours, ask when you need to, agree when you do, and disagree respectfully.
10. I hope you understand and practice fairness. I hope you are always kind to others and respect the rules of fair play.
11. I hope you love singing and dancing and music. I hope you hop around the house singing silly songs that mean nothing to the naked ear but are so creative and uniquely you. I hope you shake your booty when the radio is on and I hope you are well versed in many types of music.
12. I hope you are conscious of maintaing good health. Lay down and sleep when you need to, drink water all day long, listen to what your body is telling you. No one knows it better than you do.
13. I hope you appreciate. Preesh P - it's a skill we all need to remember. If someone does something kind for you, acknowledge it, thank them, hug them, make sure they know you noticed and you are grateful. It might be time spent with you, a ride, a smile, or a big favour. Anytime someone does something, please remember to appreciate them.
14. I hope you never want for too many things in life, but have opportunities not to get what you want, so that you appreciate the things you have.
15. I hope you always find it easier to smile than frown or scowl.
16. I hope you love animals and plants, and want to be outside more than you want to be in. Television and video games are fun, but so is nature. Explore it and make your own games up. See and create your own fun before you rely on someone else's.
17. I hope you travel far and wide but always come home.
18. I hope you love life as much as Gramma Linda did. I hope that through enough Gramma Linda stories, you will know her and love her, and even though I know stories are not the same, I hope it is always enough and you know deep down how much she loves you and how special you are to her.
19. I hope in your drawings and pictures that the sky is not always blue, trees are not always green and the sun isn't always in the sky. Explore your imagination, set it free, see where it goes and what pictures you paint on your own. I bet they are magnificent.
20. I hope your priorities never muddle up too much. I hope that you are able to relax and life is not always such a stressful serious place. I hope that you put aside an assignment or a responsibility now and then just to dance, or to call an old friend, or to deliver a happy surprise ... which finally brings me to my next and final hope for today...
21. I hope you deliver one happy surprise a day. Maybe it's a phone call, a smile, a gift. Maybe it's a visit, or a favour. Do one nice thing for someone else each day and feel your heart grow. You won't be sorry.
I was thinking today of all the hopes I have for you in your life. I was thinking how full I want it to be. So todays letter, my love, is not so much a letter, as it is a list. A list of hopes that mommy has for you. I am sure it is probably not the first hope letter I have written you, nor will it be the last. But, tuck it away, Pacey-rae, and when you wonder what you should do next, pull it out and read what mommy hoped for you and see if any of them match up to what you hope for yourself.
1. I hope you have love in your life. I hope you feel loved every single day. I hope you love yourself completely. I hope you remember the road from your heart to mommy and daddy's is so short and easily travelled and the door is always open, any time of the day. I will always want a hug or a kiss. I will always want you to come home when your own road gets too hard and things seem heavy. Let mommy help lighten your load, baby, even if just a little. That's a mommy's job and I need lot's of practice to be good at it.
2. I hope you wonder. I hope every single day of your life, you stop to contemplate something that catches your eye. I hope the little things amaze you in life and you remember there are so many of them that just naturally occur in this world. I want you to ask a million and eleven questions and when you hear an answer, I hope you ask again just to clarify your understanding.
3. I hope you dream big and plan wisely. I want you to achieve all you want in this world, no matter how out of touch the dream is. Remember that the dream is just the end of the journey, my girl, the fun is in the planning and how you get there. I hope you make big plans and I hope you try them. I hope you have the wear with all and common sense to know when the plan is not working, but the creativity to know it doesn't mean the dream doesn't work, you just need to re-evaluate, re-adjust to create a new and better plan.
4. I hope you always listen before you talk. I want you to know that the best things are learned when you listen, not when you talk. If you are always waiting and planning for what you can say next, you will have missed someone's important story. Everyone has a chance to be heard, and so will you. Listen and learn first, and speak kindly and carefully. Words are tools. I hope you use yours to help not hurt.
5. I hope you laugh. I hope you laugh right from the belly. And honey, I don't care if it is inappropriate, or no one else is laughing - if it is funny, laugh your heart out. Life is too short to hold back, especially for laughing. It is the best stress relief on earth. Remember to laugh at yourself before you laugh at others. Your heart will be light and your mind will be relaxed if you remember to laugh your day away. Laugh big, laugh hard, laugh until you can't even hear yourself laughing.
6. I hope life treats you well. I hope opportunities occur for you and you don't have to wait too long or work too hard to get where you need to be.
7. That being said, it is appropriate that I say I hope you develop and maintain a strong work ethic that extends beyond school or careers. I hope if someone calls for a helping hand you say yes before you say no. I hope you offer your help before someone asks you for it. I hope you notice, appreciate and celebrate the effort you put into your work and the successes you have because of it.
8. I hope you play as hard as you work. Discover your natural talents and explore your interests. Take lessons, read books, learn, learn, learn. Play, play, play. The world is your playground forever. Never ever stop playing.
9. I hope you are well read. I hope many things interest you and you explore them with your eyes and brain. I hope you think about things outside of the box that you read and not just accept them because they are written and published. Own your own mind, P. It's yours, ask when you need to, agree when you do, and disagree respectfully.
10. I hope you understand and practice fairness. I hope you are always kind to others and respect the rules of fair play.
11. I hope you love singing and dancing and music. I hope you hop around the house singing silly songs that mean nothing to the naked ear but are so creative and uniquely you. I hope you shake your booty when the radio is on and I hope you are well versed in many types of music.
12. I hope you are conscious of maintaing good health. Lay down and sleep when you need to, drink water all day long, listen to what your body is telling you. No one knows it better than you do.
13. I hope you appreciate. Preesh P - it's a skill we all need to remember. If someone does something kind for you, acknowledge it, thank them, hug them, make sure they know you noticed and you are grateful. It might be time spent with you, a ride, a smile, or a big favour. Anytime someone does something, please remember to appreciate them.
14. I hope you never want for too many things in life, but have opportunities not to get what you want, so that you appreciate the things you have.
15. I hope you always find it easier to smile than frown or scowl.
16. I hope you love animals and plants, and want to be outside more than you want to be in. Television and video games are fun, but so is nature. Explore it and make your own games up. See and create your own fun before you rely on someone else's.
17. I hope you travel far and wide but always come home.
18. I hope you love life as much as Gramma Linda did. I hope that through enough Gramma Linda stories, you will know her and love her, and even though I know stories are not the same, I hope it is always enough and you know deep down how much she loves you and how special you are to her.
19. I hope in your drawings and pictures that the sky is not always blue, trees are not always green and the sun isn't always in the sky. Explore your imagination, set it free, see where it goes and what pictures you paint on your own. I bet they are magnificent.
20. I hope your priorities never muddle up too much. I hope that you are able to relax and life is not always such a stressful serious place. I hope that you put aside an assignment or a responsibility now and then just to dance, or to call an old friend, or to deliver a happy surprise ... which finally brings me to my next and final hope for today...
21. I hope you deliver one happy surprise a day. Maybe it's a phone call, a smile, a gift. Maybe it's a visit, or a favour. Do one nice thing for someone else each day and feel your heart grow. You won't be sorry.
September 8, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/846921.jpg)
Dear Pacey-rae,
Today is a day I am really and truly missing Gramma. I think about her every day. In truth, P, I wasn't ready not to have a mom. I needed some more time. I had more questions. I just needed more. But life does not always give us what we need, but that's ok because it means maybe it is someone else's turn. Maybe life couldn't give me what I needed because someone needed something much more important. I can deal with that.
When your Gramma was sick, she was in a lot of pain. I try not to think of her like that because she wouldn't want it. She was in the hospital and mommy and daddy went to see her in the late morning. When they got there, Gramma was sleeping, talking in her sleep, but still sleeping. Because Gramma hadn't slept much lately, mommy told daddy they should go home and come back later. Grampa called mommy about an hour and a half later and told her she needed to get to the hospital. When she got there, Grampa was very sad, he couldn't really talk, so the nurse told mommy that Gramma was actively dying. That meant that slowly her body was saying good bye, one part at a time. It was the worst thing mommy ever heard. She was so angry she wanted to punch the nurse. It didn't seem fair. Mommy didn't punch the nurse. Instead she sat on the floor and had a cry. Sometimes a cry let's your heart take a little break. When the doctor came, he said they were going to move Gramma upstairs to a more private room. He also said that Gramma would not wake up again.
Upstairs, they put Gramma in a room. Grampa had to talk to the nurse in the hall. Mommy laid beside Gramma on the bed and just listened to her breathe and held her hand. Her skin was soft and warm. Mommy wanted to hold her hand forever, so she closed her eyes and rested. All of a sudden mommy heard Gramma whisper her name. Mommy sat up and so did Gramma. In that moment, Pacey-rae, mommy told Gramma everything her heart was feeling. I told her she was just the best mom ever. I told her that she loved her so very much. I told her I was so lucky and proud to be her daughter and that my life was full and complete because she loved me everyday of it. I told her all those things P, and I meant it. Gramma, in that moment, was so weak, she put her hands on mommy's cheeks and she said "Missy, you are the best daughter. I love you. Please plant a white rose bush and remember me." And then, Gramma laid down. It was a wonderful moment. It was an important moment. It was mine and Gramma's, ours forever. I am not telling you this to make you feel sad or sorry for mommy. I just want you to remember to live without regret. Say what you need to say, when you need to because sometimes a moment is really just that, a moment and it is done and over so fast and you wish you could reach out and grab a hold of it again, but it's gone. So Pacey, live openly and freely with your thoughts, and emotions, don't hold back, don't be scared, own your heart and let it talk when it needs to talk.
This afternoon we went for a walk. Just like every other afternoon, the first thing I look at when I step outside is that white rosebush. All summer there were no buds, no blooms. I waited and waited. Nothing. I was beginning to wonder if the rosebush needed a better home, maybe the front of the yard. But today, Mousie, today I smiled a big big smile. I came out and there they were - 3 perfect white roses. I can't help but think that Gramma wanted to say hi to all of us ... mommy, daddy, and you. She is here everyday P, and just because somedays she seems harder to find and reach, it doesn't mean she has gone away. She would never do that to us. She is here, always and forever.
Much love,
Mommy
Today is a day I am really and truly missing Gramma. I think about her every day. In truth, P, I wasn't ready not to have a mom. I needed some more time. I had more questions. I just needed more. But life does not always give us what we need, but that's ok because it means maybe it is someone else's turn. Maybe life couldn't give me what I needed because someone needed something much more important. I can deal with that.
When your Gramma was sick, she was in a lot of pain. I try not to think of her like that because she wouldn't want it. She was in the hospital and mommy and daddy went to see her in the late morning. When they got there, Gramma was sleeping, talking in her sleep, but still sleeping. Because Gramma hadn't slept much lately, mommy told daddy they should go home and come back later. Grampa called mommy about an hour and a half later and told her she needed to get to the hospital. When she got there, Grampa was very sad, he couldn't really talk, so the nurse told mommy that Gramma was actively dying. That meant that slowly her body was saying good bye, one part at a time. It was the worst thing mommy ever heard. She was so angry she wanted to punch the nurse. It didn't seem fair. Mommy didn't punch the nurse. Instead she sat on the floor and had a cry. Sometimes a cry let's your heart take a little break. When the doctor came, he said they were going to move Gramma upstairs to a more private room. He also said that Gramma would not wake up again.
Upstairs, they put Gramma in a room. Grampa had to talk to the nurse in the hall. Mommy laid beside Gramma on the bed and just listened to her breathe and held her hand. Her skin was soft and warm. Mommy wanted to hold her hand forever, so she closed her eyes and rested. All of a sudden mommy heard Gramma whisper her name. Mommy sat up and so did Gramma. In that moment, Pacey-rae, mommy told Gramma everything her heart was feeling. I told her she was just the best mom ever. I told her that she loved her so very much. I told her I was so lucky and proud to be her daughter and that my life was full and complete because she loved me everyday of it. I told her all those things P, and I meant it. Gramma, in that moment, was so weak, she put her hands on mommy's cheeks and she said "Missy, you are the best daughter. I love you. Please plant a white rose bush and remember me." And then, Gramma laid down. It was a wonderful moment. It was an important moment. It was mine and Gramma's, ours forever. I am not telling you this to make you feel sad or sorry for mommy. I just want you to remember to live without regret. Say what you need to say, when you need to because sometimes a moment is really just that, a moment and it is done and over so fast and you wish you could reach out and grab a hold of it again, but it's gone. So Pacey, live openly and freely with your thoughts, and emotions, don't hold back, don't be scared, own your heart and let it talk when it needs to talk.
This afternoon we went for a walk. Just like every other afternoon, the first thing I look at when I step outside is that white rosebush. All summer there were no buds, no blooms. I waited and waited. Nothing. I was beginning to wonder if the rosebush needed a better home, maybe the front of the yard. But today, Mousie, today I smiled a big big smile. I came out and there they were - 3 perfect white roses. I can't help but think that Gramma wanted to say hi to all of us ... mommy, daddy, and you. She is here everyday P, and just because somedays she seems harder to find and reach, it doesn't mean she has gone away. She would never do that to us. She is here, always and forever.
Much love,
Mommy
September 22, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1430130.jpg)
Good morning sunshine,
I was thinking this morning as you slept, how it does not seem like 7 months has passed since we brought you home. I was so excited P! My baby was coming home, she was finally here. You slept most of the time when you were small. You always slept on your back with your head to one side and your arms stretched out to the sides. As you are now, you were so sweet and lovely and I was so proud you were mine. I am going to love you more and more each day, Mouse, it's happened in these first 7 months and I don't anticipate anything that could alter it.
I remember how peacefully you loved relaxing in my arms or Daddy's arms. You would lay there for hours, drifting in and out of sleeps. We just carried on with our day, you didn't even jump when the dogs lost their minds at the window. You slept on through. Now, it is a different story. You are so active - sitting, moving, pulling yourself up, rolling yourself over. There is really no serenity in holding you anymore - there is excitment and adventure. I love watching you grow and learn and explore and try new things. You look at things with big, bright, inquisitive eyes. You try to figure things out. You explore with your hands and feet and body and words. You are so smart, my girl, brilliant even. It is both fun and rewarding when you discover a new trick or talent. Right now you keep saying "Mamamama" over and over. Daddy and Grampa are convinced you are saying "Mom." I think it is just a new sound, a lovely, endearing, and delightful new sound, but still only a sound, not a word. All these new discoveries and adventures Pacey-rae are amazing and awesome, I love them. But sometimes, my girl, I miss our long snuggles, where I could whisper my hopes and dreams in your ear without you trying to pull the necklace off my neck, or rip the glasses off my face. I miss cozying up in bed and watching you slumber, wondering what dreams you may be having. Don't get me wrong, Pacey, I am so so curious about your dreams now, I just watch you a little more cautiously, a little farther back, because quite frankly, I need a quick five from the hustle and bustle of the new active P - I don't want to get her up and rev up her engine just yet!
Much love,
Mommy
I was thinking this morning as you slept, how it does not seem like 7 months has passed since we brought you home. I was so excited P! My baby was coming home, she was finally here. You slept most of the time when you were small. You always slept on your back with your head to one side and your arms stretched out to the sides. As you are now, you were so sweet and lovely and I was so proud you were mine. I am going to love you more and more each day, Mouse, it's happened in these first 7 months and I don't anticipate anything that could alter it.
I remember how peacefully you loved relaxing in my arms or Daddy's arms. You would lay there for hours, drifting in and out of sleeps. We just carried on with our day, you didn't even jump when the dogs lost their minds at the window. You slept on through. Now, it is a different story. You are so active - sitting, moving, pulling yourself up, rolling yourself over. There is really no serenity in holding you anymore - there is excitment and adventure. I love watching you grow and learn and explore and try new things. You look at things with big, bright, inquisitive eyes. You try to figure things out. You explore with your hands and feet and body and words. You are so smart, my girl, brilliant even. It is both fun and rewarding when you discover a new trick or talent. Right now you keep saying "Mamamama" over and over. Daddy and Grampa are convinced you are saying "Mom." I think it is just a new sound, a lovely, endearing, and delightful new sound, but still only a sound, not a word. All these new discoveries and adventures Pacey-rae are amazing and awesome, I love them. But sometimes, my girl, I miss our long snuggles, where I could whisper my hopes and dreams in your ear without you trying to pull the necklace off my neck, or rip the glasses off my face. I miss cozying up in bed and watching you slumber, wondering what dreams you may be having. Don't get me wrong, Pacey, I am so so curious about your dreams now, I just watch you a little more cautiously, a little farther back, because quite frankly, I need a quick five from the hustle and bustle of the new active P - I don't want to get her up and rev up her engine just yet!
Much love,
Mommy
September 27, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/679949.jpg?229)
Little Mouse,
My gosh I could watch you for hours, you are so very entertaining. You love playing these days. You love toys. Of course, daddy keeps an eagle eye on the Toys R Us weekly flyers and let's mommy know which toys seem like you would like them. Truth - you love all toys! You can't really miss, especially if it lights up, makes sounds, or moves. It's really the jackpot when it does all three! You love chewing on your toys, reaching for them, lifting them, moving them, shaking them, passing them from hand to hand, you really just love playing with them in all ways! It is fun to watch you.
There is one toy though, that really spooks you. It is a big penguin. He never really did anything to you. We filled him with air and sat him down on your playmat and you immediately pulled out your lip and reached for daddy to save you. When daddy wasn't quick enough, you started to cry! The penguin has got your number, kid. You have to learn to love him or teach him a lesson. Of course daddy and mommy have devised a million different theories as to why you hate the penguin, but none are reasonable or rational.
You love bouncing as well, you like your jolly jumper, your exersaucer, and the jumpy baby einstein contraption that you play in. Sometimes you get tricky and hop on one foot - which for the big fat record, I am pretty sure is a 6 year old skill in gym, but I have always said you were advanced, now I can add athletic. Just wait until you crawl, you will probably want ankle weights just to make it challenging! Keep playing Mouse, we love watching you!
Much love,
Mommy
My gosh I could watch you for hours, you are so very entertaining. You love playing these days. You love toys. Of course, daddy keeps an eagle eye on the Toys R Us weekly flyers and let's mommy know which toys seem like you would like them. Truth - you love all toys! You can't really miss, especially if it lights up, makes sounds, or moves. It's really the jackpot when it does all three! You love chewing on your toys, reaching for them, lifting them, moving them, shaking them, passing them from hand to hand, you really just love playing with them in all ways! It is fun to watch you.
There is one toy though, that really spooks you. It is a big penguin. He never really did anything to you. We filled him with air and sat him down on your playmat and you immediately pulled out your lip and reached for daddy to save you. When daddy wasn't quick enough, you started to cry! The penguin has got your number, kid. You have to learn to love him or teach him a lesson. Of course daddy and mommy have devised a million different theories as to why you hate the penguin, but none are reasonable or rational.
You love bouncing as well, you like your jolly jumper, your exersaucer, and the jumpy baby einstein contraption that you play in. Sometimes you get tricky and hop on one foot - which for the big fat record, I am pretty sure is a 6 year old skill in gym, but I have always said you were advanced, now I can add athletic. Just wait until you crawl, you will probably want ankle weights just to make it challenging! Keep playing Mouse, we love watching you!
Much love,
Mommy
October 2, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/3411329.jpg?0)
Dear little Mousie,
Today is Grampa's birthday! We are going to go for pizza and cake when Daddy comes home. You are going to have so much fun because Kai and Vayda will be there, and they love you so much and they love having fun with you. You are getting more fun for them to play with, as you grow and learn. When they first met you, you were pretty much a little lump that couldn't do much but sleep and suck on a bottle. They loved you then too, they would touch your lovely locks of hair and kiss your soft cheeks. They loved touching your hands and just looking at you. They could manage about 5 minutes before they started to get bored. You have to remember, honey, they are big kids with big imaginations and lots of energy. They needed to play - they just wished you could play with them! I always thought it was so cute because they would run and play for a while but run in the house and say "Where's PR? Where's PR?" When they found you, they just wanted to give you a little pet, or a sweet little kiss on the forehead. Such loving cousins!
When you got a bit older, they loved when you could do tricks. So at first, they loved when you would be in your jumperoo and bounce. They liked standing in front of you and bouncing and cheering when you would bounce too. It made you laugh so hard, P! It was fun! Then they liked quite cuddle time with you and they would take turns reading to you. They usually brought you a book from when they were little babies and they left it in your collection. You loved hearing their stories and you were a very good listener.
When you could sit up, they liked bringing toys to you and showing you how they worked. They would surround you with so many toys, you hardly knew where to look! It was fun to watch them explore and share with you. So fun to see you learn and laugh with them. It filled mommy's heart so much. And now, my girl, you are so big! You are so fun. You do tricks like clapping and raising up your hands when we ask you how big you are. Auntie Kelly was the first person who asked you that actually, just wait until she sees how you mastered it, she will be so proud! You do new things like reaching and touching. You grab and move things. You crawl and roll and turn.
I wonder what is next for you? What new trick will happen next? Walking, talking, standing, - don't be in too much of a rush my baby, between you and me, sometimes mommy misses the little baby who could only sleep and suck on bottles.
Much love,
Mommy
Today is Grampa's birthday! We are going to go for pizza and cake when Daddy comes home. You are going to have so much fun because Kai and Vayda will be there, and they love you so much and they love having fun with you. You are getting more fun for them to play with, as you grow and learn. When they first met you, you were pretty much a little lump that couldn't do much but sleep and suck on a bottle. They loved you then too, they would touch your lovely locks of hair and kiss your soft cheeks. They loved touching your hands and just looking at you. They could manage about 5 minutes before they started to get bored. You have to remember, honey, they are big kids with big imaginations and lots of energy. They needed to play - they just wished you could play with them! I always thought it was so cute because they would run and play for a while but run in the house and say "Where's PR? Where's PR?" When they found you, they just wanted to give you a little pet, or a sweet little kiss on the forehead. Such loving cousins!
When you got a bit older, they loved when you could do tricks. So at first, they loved when you would be in your jumperoo and bounce. They liked standing in front of you and bouncing and cheering when you would bounce too. It made you laugh so hard, P! It was fun! Then they liked quite cuddle time with you and they would take turns reading to you. They usually brought you a book from when they were little babies and they left it in your collection. You loved hearing their stories and you were a very good listener.
When you could sit up, they liked bringing toys to you and showing you how they worked. They would surround you with so many toys, you hardly knew where to look! It was fun to watch them explore and share with you. So fun to see you learn and laugh with them. It filled mommy's heart so much. And now, my girl, you are so big! You are so fun. You do tricks like clapping and raising up your hands when we ask you how big you are. Auntie Kelly was the first person who asked you that actually, just wait until she sees how you mastered it, she will be so proud! You do new things like reaching and touching. You grab and move things. You crawl and roll and turn.
I wonder what is next for you? What new trick will happen next? Walking, talking, standing, - don't be in too much of a rush my baby, between you and me, sometimes mommy misses the little baby who could only sleep and suck on bottles.
Much love,
Mommy
October 24, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1759458.jpg?0)
Dear Pacey-rae
Oh my goodness my sweet little girl! Today was a hard day for you ... and mommy. We started out great and had a fun morning. Then mommy had to go to the hair dressers. She took you to Auntie Dianne's and you were so happy to be there. We brought all your favourite toys, and your familiar things. We were prepared for anything, or so I thought. So, as you got settled playing patty cakes with Auntie, mommy headed off to Cutting Loose to see Bridget.
Mommy was ready for a change, so she told Bridget to do something new and exciting for the fall. Bridget changed mommy's hair colour to a warm golden brown and some golden blonde too. It was different, and mommy loved it. She was excited to hear what Auntie Dianne thought. She wondered if Daddy would hate it because he loves mommy's blonde hair so much. It turns out, baby girl, in all this excitement, mommy forgot to think about how you would be affected by the change.
When I came to get you, I walked in and you were playing with Auntie Dianne. I said "Hello," and you looked up. Then you made a face - you didn't recognize me. I thought that was bad, so I slowly approached and was talking to you. When I reached to get you, you gripped onto Auntie like you were so scared and you started to scream. Honey, I haven't heard you cry like that in a long, long time. It broke my heart in two. Your little heart was beating so hard, you were sweating, you couldn't catch your breath. It was just horrible. I wanted to go right back and have Bridget fix it, but there were no appointments. We drove home, both of us crying, both of us wanting each other back.
I called daddy on the way and he reassured me it would be fine, that you just needed to be home with our dogs and me and our house. I wasn't so sure, but that daddy of yours sometimes has an ace up his sleeve. When we got home, you weren't crying, you were just sitting in your car seat waiting. I was nervous when you saw me again you would flip a switch, but you didn't, love. You didn't smile like you usually do. You just were waiting. I took you out and inside the house. I put you on your play mat and sat and played a while, and you know what. you started to smile. You started to laugh and make your sweet little baby sounds. We sang some songs and played some hide and find games. We had lunch and a cuddle and you were just fine. Although, I can't help but think that you are trying to pull mommy's darker hair off to find your blonde mommy underneath.
And, you know what P? Mommy has an appointment booked with Bridget tomorrow, if you wake up and it still makes you mad! I love my baby and her smile too much to miss out on one more day without them. We will see what tomorrow brings my little pocket of sunshine. I love you and I am so sorry for making your day harder all in the name of really good hair.
Much love,
Mommy
Oh my goodness my sweet little girl! Today was a hard day for you ... and mommy. We started out great and had a fun morning. Then mommy had to go to the hair dressers. She took you to Auntie Dianne's and you were so happy to be there. We brought all your favourite toys, and your familiar things. We were prepared for anything, or so I thought. So, as you got settled playing patty cakes with Auntie, mommy headed off to Cutting Loose to see Bridget.
Mommy was ready for a change, so she told Bridget to do something new and exciting for the fall. Bridget changed mommy's hair colour to a warm golden brown and some golden blonde too. It was different, and mommy loved it. She was excited to hear what Auntie Dianne thought. She wondered if Daddy would hate it because he loves mommy's blonde hair so much. It turns out, baby girl, in all this excitement, mommy forgot to think about how you would be affected by the change.
When I came to get you, I walked in and you were playing with Auntie Dianne. I said "Hello," and you looked up. Then you made a face - you didn't recognize me. I thought that was bad, so I slowly approached and was talking to you. When I reached to get you, you gripped onto Auntie like you were so scared and you started to scream. Honey, I haven't heard you cry like that in a long, long time. It broke my heart in two. Your little heart was beating so hard, you were sweating, you couldn't catch your breath. It was just horrible. I wanted to go right back and have Bridget fix it, but there were no appointments. We drove home, both of us crying, both of us wanting each other back.
I called daddy on the way and he reassured me it would be fine, that you just needed to be home with our dogs and me and our house. I wasn't so sure, but that daddy of yours sometimes has an ace up his sleeve. When we got home, you weren't crying, you were just sitting in your car seat waiting. I was nervous when you saw me again you would flip a switch, but you didn't, love. You didn't smile like you usually do. You just were waiting. I took you out and inside the house. I put you on your play mat and sat and played a while, and you know what. you started to smile. You started to laugh and make your sweet little baby sounds. We sang some songs and played some hide and find games. We had lunch and a cuddle and you were just fine. Although, I can't help but think that you are trying to pull mommy's darker hair off to find your blonde mommy underneath.
And, you know what P? Mommy has an appointment booked with Bridget tomorrow, if you wake up and it still makes you mad! I love my baby and her smile too much to miss out on one more day without them. We will see what tomorrow brings my little pocket of sunshine. I love you and I am so sorry for making your day harder all in the name of really good hair.
Much love,
Mommy
November 2, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/8300386.jpg?0)
Dear Sleeping Mousie,
My oh my are you getting big. You are starting to climb and move around and you get into EVERYTHING!!! And I really do mean everything, honey. I have finger swept your mouth twice this week because you keep somehow getting into the dog food. Ummm Gross, P, really really gross. You think it is hilarious. In fact, whenever you go near something dangerous or something that you are not supposed to - well you get a good kick out of it! You really get a hustle on and make bee lines from one blocked not allowed area to the next. You move fast, but my little mouse, you have to learn if you want to get away with being bad - you got to keep your mouth shut. Each time you crawl towards it, mommy and daddy can hear you giggling. You really do find it fun. You are such a monkey!!!
Along with this new found freedom of your body has come this new found stubbornness of the mind. You might look like daddy, but my goodness, my girl...you, unfortunately are just like mommy ... stubborn as a donkey. Tough as beans, but stubborn as a donkey. You are very vocal about your dissatisfaction and you often let out a big, sorry a BIG, scream to let us know when you are displeased. When we tell you shhhh you laugh. Mommy is pretty firm on her rules but you sure have your daddy wrapped around your finger. You will be playing just fine on your own or with the dogs or with mommy, and when daddy comes home you flash him your million dollar one toothed smile and you put your arms up for "reachies." Daddy cannot resist he comes over and scoops you up and smothers you with kisses and love. So much love for one little girl. When we are in a store and you take something off the shelf - Daddy is convinced that is your way of asking nicely if you can have it. Daddy just loves you to bits.
We took our 9 months photos today. The theme was tutus. You looked adorable and cute and I just wanted to nibble on your little cheekies! It was super hard taking your picture this time around kid. You do not stay still for one moment. We are going to have to put you into Kindergym or something - your energy is through the roof. I love it, but it exhausts me! Next holiday is Christmas. Lots to see and do and think about. I can hardly wait for the festivities to begin.
Much love,
Mommy
My oh my are you getting big. You are starting to climb and move around and you get into EVERYTHING!!! And I really do mean everything, honey. I have finger swept your mouth twice this week because you keep somehow getting into the dog food. Ummm Gross, P, really really gross. You think it is hilarious. In fact, whenever you go near something dangerous or something that you are not supposed to - well you get a good kick out of it! You really get a hustle on and make bee lines from one blocked not allowed area to the next. You move fast, but my little mouse, you have to learn if you want to get away with being bad - you got to keep your mouth shut. Each time you crawl towards it, mommy and daddy can hear you giggling. You really do find it fun. You are such a monkey!!!
Along with this new found freedom of your body has come this new found stubbornness of the mind. You might look like daddy, but my goodness, my girl...you, unfortunately are just like mommy ... stubborn as a donkey. Tough as beans, but stubborn as a donkey. You are very vocal about your dissatisfaction and you often let out a big, sorry a BIG, scream to let us know when you are displeased. When we tell you shhhh you laugh. Mommy is pretty firm on her rules but you sure have your daddy wrapped around your finger. You will be playing just fine on your own or with the dogs or with mommy, and when daddy comes home you flash him your million dollar one toothed smile and you put your arms up for "reachies." Daddy cannot resist he comes over and scoops you up and smothers you with kisses and love. So much love for one little girl. When we are in a store and you take something off the shelf - Daddy is convinced that is your way of asking nicely if you can have it. Daddy just loves you to bits.
We took our 9 months photos today. The theme was tutus. You looked adorable and cute and I just wanted to nibble on your little cheekies! It was super hard taking your picture this time around kid. You do not stay still for one moment. We are going to have to put you into Kindergym or something - your energy is through the roof. I love it, but it exhausts me! Next holiday is Christmas. Lots to see and do and think about. I can hardly wait for the festivities to begin.
Much love,
Mommy
November 9, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1646426.jpg?182)
Dear Pacey-rae,
Today is Gramma Linda's birthday. I am thinking about her a lot today. Mostly, I am just wishing we could celebrate her birthday with her. Gramma loved her birthday. i think her favourite thing was the cake. Your Gramma, she loved her sweets, and you and her would have had a hayday making and mostly eating cookies and treats. Someday, you can ask Kai and Vayda to tell you about how Gramma used to give them sneaky treats when they were over at her house. It seems like another good day to talk about Gramma to you.
Gramma was born in Portage La Prairie, someday I am going to take you there. We will go to the Strawberry Festival, pick a batch, drive to Island Park and mommy will drive you around and show you the special places that Gramma used to take mommy when they went there. Did you know that Gramma and Grampa met in Portage? I will be sure to show you where Granny Smith (Grampa's mommy) lived. I will tell you about her too, she would have thought you were pretty special. But back to Gramma Linda.
Gramma had 8 kids in her family, Pacey, can you believe that? Her family did not have very much money, and Gramma had to do a lot of sharing with her brothers and sisters, from beds to clothes to food to bath water - they were experts in sharing. Gramma was the 2nd oldest in her family and she loved her brothers and sisters to bits. When she was old enough to get her own job, she always spent her money on them. She loved to bring them treats and surprises and make them feel special. She had 5 sisters: Susan, Pat, Gloria, Sheila, Dianne and 2 brothers: Terry and Randy. Gramma's mom was from England and she talked with an accent. Mommy used to love to listen to Gramma Winnie talk. Another person to tell you about another time - today is for Gramma!!!
Gramma loved pretty things right from the time she was a little girl. She didn't have a lot of pretty things of her own, but she sure know them when she saw them. She used to tell mommy that she would go to school and look at all the other little girls and she couldn't believe they had clean socks to wear everyday. She had to wear the same socks for days in a row, and often they had holes in them. She also had to wear clothes from the Salvation Army. Gramma was always embarrassed when the wealthier little girls at school would recognize their old hand me downs on her or her brothers or sisters. Some of the other kids were very mean to Gramma and they said mean things about her and her family. But Gramma never let it get to her, she made herself a promise that when she was a grown up, she would be able to have all the fancy clothes she wanted. And you know what P? She did just that. In fact, when Mommy and Uncle Ryan were little kids, Gramma always made sure they had really nice clothes. I remember when I was in the 4th grade, Trent Thompson asked me "Are you even allowed to wear the same clothes twice?" That just tells you how important nice clean clothes were to Gramma!
Gramma moved to Winnipeg and she started working as a service rep at the Phone Centre in a nearby mall. She only worked for part time when Mommy and Uncle Ryan were small so she could spend time with them. Gramma always walked us to school and made us special lunches of our favourite things. Sometimes Gramma would keep mommy out of school to take her on a shopping day - Mommy loved those days, they were such a treat and she loved being with her Mommy so much. When we got older, Gramma decided she loved working and she began to take courses and earn promotions at work.. By working hard and never giving up, she was able to become the kind of person she always wanted to be. She never forgot who she was and where she came from, and used that to make her life a little better. Gramma was the most appreciative and generous person ever. She always made time for others and was happy when they made time for her. She was also kind hearted and patient. She had a bit of a hot temper, but you know what my girl, so do you. In fact, there are a few things where daddy and mommy have said - oh my goodness she is just like her Gramma! And you know what, that is pretty special and makes mommy's heart glow with gladness.
The other thing about Gramma is that she could be very silly! That is what made her so much fun to be around. She loved having a laugh and laughhing at herself. She would do anything to cheer her friends and family up and would often try to say things and they would come out backwards and silly sounding - but you know what? Often the silly way she said them is the one that stuck. She was very active with curling and golf and she loved to travel. Gramma also loved being around people - she was her happiest when she was entertaining in some form or another.
You know, the thing is P, Gramma was just such a special person. I am so sorry you won't ever meet her, but I guarantee you, you will love her, you will know her. Mommy will answer any question you have about her and we can look at old pictures and talk about them together. In fact, I look forward to that. Gramma lives far away in heaven where we can't see her, but she never left our hearts where we love her each and every day. I know one thing for certain. Your Gramma would have adored you. She would have loved you and wanted to be around you all the time. She would have talked silly to you and supported your decisions and helped guide you to make the best ones. She would have put her arm in front of you when she slammed on the breaks to make sure you were safe. If you love peanut butter cookies, she would have made a batch every visit. If you were scared of the dark, she would have slept in your bed with you. She would have invented silly games like Baby Susan and Where are the Animals? Most of all, she would have given you her heart and you would have loved her completely.
She was special and so are you
I love you entirely
Much love,
Mommy
Today is Gramma Linda's birthday. I am thinking about her a lot today. Mostly, I am just wishing we could celebrate her birthday with her. Gramma loved her birthday. i think her favourite thing was the cake. Your Gramma, she loved her sweets, and you and her would have had a hayday making and mostly eating cookies and treats. Someday, you can ask Kai and Vayda to tell you about how Gramma used to give them sneaky treats when they were over at her house. It seems like another good day to talk about Gramma to you.
Gramma was born in Portage La Prairie, someday I am going to take you there. We will go to the Strawberry Festival, pick a batch, drive to Island Park and mommy will drive you around and show you the special places that Gramma used to take mommy when they went there. Did you know that Gramma and Grampa met in Portage? I will be sure to show you where Granny Smith (Grampa's mommy) lived. I will tell you about her too, she would have thought you were pretty special. But back to Gramma Linda.
Gramma had 8 kids in her family, Pacey, can you believe that? Her family did not have very much money, and Gramma had to do a lot of sharing with her brothers and sisters, from beds to clothes to food to bath water - they were experts in sharing. Gramma was the 2nd oldest in her family and she loved her brothers and sisters to bits. When she was old enough to get her own job, she always spent her money on them. She loved to bring them treats and surprises and make them feel special. She had 5 sisters: Susan, Pat, Gloria, Sheila, Dianne and 2 brothers: Terry and Randy. Gramma's mom was from England and she talked with an accent. Mommy used to love to listen to Gramma Winnie talk. Another person to tell you about another time - today is for Gramma!!!
Gramma loved pretty things right from the time she was a little girl. She didn't have a lot of pretty things of her own, but she sure know them when she saw them. She used to tell mommy that she would go to school and look at all the other little girls and she couldn't believe they had clean socks to wear everyday. She had to wear the same socks for days in a row, and often they had holes in them. She also had to wear clothes from the Salvation Army. Gramma was always embarrassed when the wealthier little girls at school would recognize their old hand me downs on her or her brothers or sisters. Some of the other kids were very mean to Gramma and they said mean things about her and her family. But Gramma never let it get to her, she made herself a promise that when she was a grown up, she would be able to have all the fancy clothes she wanted. And you know what P? She did just that. In fact, when Mommy and Uncle Ryan were little kids, Gramma always made sure they had really nice clothes. I remember when I was in the 4th grade, Trent Thompson asked me "Are you even allowed to wear the same clothes twice?" That just tells you how important nice clean clothes were to Gramma!
Gramma moved to Winnipeg and she started working as a service rep at the Phone Centre in a nearby mall. She only worked for part time when Mommy and Uncle Ryan were small so she could spend time with them. Gramma always walked us to school and made us special lunches of our favourite things. Sometimes Gramma would keep mommy out of school to take her on a shopping day - Mommy loved those days, they were such a treat and she loved being with her Mommy so much. When we got older, Gramma decided she loved working and she began to take courses and earn promotions at work.. By working hard and never giving up, she was able to become the kind of person she always wanted to be. She never forgot who she was and where she came from, and used that to make her life a little better. Gramma was the most appreciative and generous person ever. She always made time for others and was happy when they made time for her. She was also kind hearted and patient. She had a bit of a hot temper, but you know what my girl, so do you. In fact, there are a few things where daddy and mommy have said - oh my goodness she is just like her Gramma! And you know what, that is pretty special and makes mommy's heart glow with gladness.
The other thing about Gramma is that she could be very silly! That is what made her so much fun to be around. She loved having a laugh and laughhing at herself. She would do anything to cheer her friends and family up and would often try to say things and they would come out backwards and silly sounding - but you know what? Often the silly way she said them is the one that stuck. She was very active with curling and golf and she loved to travel. Gramma also loved being around people - she was her happiest when she was entertaining in some form or another.
You know, the thing is P, Gramma was just such a special person. I am so sorry you won't ever meet her, but I guarantee you, you will love her, you will know her. Mommy will answer any question you have about her and we can look at old pictures and talk about them together. In fact, I look forward to that. Gramma lives far away in heaven where we can't see her, but she never left our hearts where we love her each and every day. I know one thing for certain. Your Gramma would have adored you. She would have loved you and wanted to be around you all the time. She would have talked silly to you and supported your decisions and helped guide you to make the best ones. She would have put her arm in front of you when she slammed on the breaks to make sure you were safe. If you love peanut butter cookies, she would have made a batch every visit. If you were scared of the dark, she would have slept in your bed with you. She would have invented silly games like Baby Susan and Where are the Animals? Most of all, she would have given you her heart and you would have loved her completely.
She was special and so are you
I love you entirely
Much love,
Mommy
December 3, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/737974.jpg?229)
Dear little P-rae,
How is it possible that every day you sink a little deeper into my heart and I love you just that much more? How is it possible that every day you get just a smidgie bit cuter than the last day? You, my love, are an enigma. You are a happy little ball of love and fun and daily surprises. You are by far, the best part of my life. I am so excited that Christmas is coming! I can hardly wait - it will be your first one and I have all your outfits planned - right down to the cute little matching tights and shoes. Heck, girl, I even have your bibs and sleepers ready to go! I know some people think Mommy spends too much money on your clothes, but you know what - it does not matter!!! It brings Mommy SO much joy to find you cute little outfits and if spoiling you a little is my worst fault, well than guess what? I'm not doing half bad!
It's important to acknowledge other people's opinions, honey, but you do not have to agree with them. It is okay to respectfully disagree. I know that you have a good heart, and I know you are like mommy deep inside and you will always trust your guts first. I know you will listen to yourself and do what makes you feel good. I know that it will never make you feel good to tear someone down just to build yourself up, just like it will never make you feel good to cheat or steal or lie or hurt intentionally. You have been gifted with a good, pure, wonderful heart of gold. So you know what my daughter, live by this one rule ... just let it shine. That's it, it really is that easy. Just let your true self shine and when you lay your head down at the end of each day, know that you have been your very best self from the moment you woke up that morning. just...shine.
Much love,
Mommy
How is it possible that every day you sink a little deeper into my heart and I love you just that much more? How is it possible that every day you get just a smidgie bit cuter than the last day? You, my love, are an enigma. You are a happy little ball of love and fun and daily surprises. You are by far, the best part of my life. I am so excited that Christmas is coming! I can hardly wait - it will be your first one and I have all your outfits planned - right down to the cute little matching tights and shoes. Heck, girl, I even have your bibs and sleepers ready to go! I know some people think Mommy spends too much money on your clothes, but you know what - it does not matter!!! It brings Mommy SO much joy to find you cute little outfits and if spoiling you a little is my worst fault, well than guess what? I'm not doing half bad!
It's important to acknowledge other people's opinions, honey, but you do not have to agree with them. It is okay to respectfully disagree. I know that you have a good heart, and I know you are like mommy deep inside and you will always trust your guts first. I know you will listen to yourself and do what makes you feel good. I know that it will never make you feel good to tear someone down just to build yourself up, just like it will never make you feel good to cheat or steal or lie or hurt intentionally. You have been gifted with a good, pure, wonderful heart of gold. So you know what my daughter, live by this one rule ... just let it shine. That's it, it really is that easy. Just let your true self shine and when you lay your head down at the end of each day, know that you have been your very best self from the moment you woke up that morning. just...shine.
Much love,
Mommy
December 12, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1676926.jpg?224)
Dear Pacey-rae,
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! We took some Christmas photos today and went shopping for some last minute Christmas gifts! Did you know that Christmas is BY FAR your mommy's most favourite and best holiday ever! I love Christmas. There is just a magic to it. I can't wait to start up our family traditions with you and let you experience the magic of Christmas every single year of your life. I have been hunting and searching for the perfect Christmas stocking for you. I can't find it and I know why. It's because when mommy was a baby, Gramma made her a quilted stocking with ROBYN embroidered on the top - she did the same for Uncle Ryan too. They are the best stockings ever, and even if I try to make one for you, it won't be the same. So, I am going to give up on that idea, wipe the slate clean, and start searching for the perfect stocking for Pacey-rae. It would have to be one with Peppa on it, or maybe Cat in the Hat, surely it would have Charlie and Lola??? Boy I have my work cut out for me!!!
Our tree is set up and the presents are pretty much wrapped and ready to go - there are a couple there for you. Did you notice? I wonder if Santa is going to have to make a couple trips to our house because you are so darn special? The best part of Christmas for me, P, is finding the perfect gift for everyone. I love hunting it down and knowing they are going to love it. I love the hunt, and then wrapping it up nice and pretty and attaching ribbons and bows. It's awesome and I can't wait to share that with you. Daddy's favourite part of Christmas is all the Christmas specials that come on TV. He loves Charlie Brown Christmas and The Christmas Story. I think you will have fun snuggling up and watching them with him every year.
Today and everyday you fill my heart with such joy - Thank you, my baby, thank you so very much!
Much love,
Mommy
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! We took some Christmas photos today and went shopping for some last minute Christmas gifts! Did you know that Christmas is BY FAR your mommy's most favourite and best holiday ever! I love Christmas. There is just a magic to it. I can't wait to start up our family traditions with you and let you experience the magic of Christmas every single year of your life. I have been hunting and searching for the perfect Christmas stocking for you. I can't find it and I know why. It's because when mommy was a baby, Gramma made her a quilted stocking with ROBYN embroidered on the top - she did the same for Uncle Ryan too. They are the best stockings ever, and even if I try to make one for you, it won't be the same. So, I am going to give up on that idea, wipe the slate clean, and start searching for the perfect stocking for Pacey-rae. It would have to be one with Peppa on it, or maybe Cat in the Hat, surely it would have Charlie and Lola??? Boy I have my work cut out for me!!!
Our tree is set up and the presents are pretty much wrapped and ready to go - there are a couple there for you. Did you notice? I wonder if Santa is going to have to make a couple trips to our house because you are so darn special? The best part of Christmas for me, P, is finding the perfect gift for everyone. I love hunting it down and knowing they are going to love it. I love the hunt, and then wrapping it up nice and pretty and attaching ribbons and bows. It's awesome and I can't wait to share that with you. Daddy's favourite part of Christmas is all the Christmas specials that come on TV. He loves Charlie Brown Christmas and The Christmas Story. I think you will have fun snuggling up and watching them with him every year.
Today and everyday you fill my heart with such joy - Thank you, my baby, thank you so very much!
Much love,
Mommy
December 19, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/3738713.jpg)
Dear Pacey-rae
It is so early! Daddy is still sleeping. The dogs are still sleeping. I think even the night sky is still sleeping. I can't sleep. I am starting to think about going back to work in a month. I love spending my day with you. I absolutely love it and as I write this, I feel my heart pinching and tears in my eyes. This year has been so amazing and incredible. It has been a year of learning, and experiencing. It has been a year of joy and pain. I have laughed and cried. I have given and taken. I have connected and reconnected. I have loved every single minute. I would not have had this year without you. It would not have been the same kind of year, had you not crept into my life. Who said I could be so lucky?
When I go back to work, I am going to think about our adventures and the fun we had. I am going to wonder what you are doing and if you are happy. I am going to feel sad about missing happy little smiles and giggles, and also life's big moments - your first steps. It will be hard to hear about them second hand, or about something amazing or funny that you did without me. It is hard to imagine you will wake up, and eat, and nap and have fun and spend an entire day without needing me. It's hard to know you will be fine. I am comforted you will spend time with people who sincerely love you. I could not be more pleased about that, but secretly, mousie, I love that you need me. It feels good.
I know soon enough you will want to do things yourself. You will want to go places all the time without me and spend time in our home on your own. I know this is healthy and good for you. But you are only a baby for such a short time - a snapshot really. I can only rock you to sleep for so long and cuddle and kiss you for so long. Soon enough, you will become your own wonderfully independent person, of whom I will be amazed and proud of. I will look at you and remember your little mouse sounds and how soft your hands were or how cute your little toesies were. I will forever remember my baby, my mouse, my love.
So I will go back to work with a strong face and a heart suited up with armour. I will kiss you and smile when I leave, and make sure you know I am going to be okay too. Even though we are apart in this next stage, we are going to do this together. Together, we will probably cry a little. Together, we will meet new people the other won't. Together, we will wish we were at the Forks or just cuddling on the couch. Together, we will become stronger. We will be fine. We will always be fine.
I love you always and forever.
Much love,
Mommy
It is so early! Daddy is still sleeping. The dogs are still sleeping. I think even the night sky is still sleeping. I can't sleep. I am starting to think about going back to work in a month. I love spending my day with you. I absolutely love it and as I write this, I feel my heart pinching and tears in my eyes. This year has been so amazing and incredible. It has been a year of learning, and experiencing. It has been a year of joy and pain. I have laughed and cried. I have given and taken. I have connected and reconnected. I have loved every single minute. I would not have had this year without you. It would not have been the same kind of year, had you not crept into my life. Who said I could be so lucky?
When I go back to work, I am going to think about our adventures and the fun we had. I am going to wonder what you are doing and if you are happy. I am going to feel sad about missing happy little smiles and giggles, and also life's big moments - your first steps. It will be hard to hear about them second hand, or about something amazing or funny that you did without me. It is hard to imagine you will wake up, and eat, and nap and have fun and spend an entire day without needing me. It's hard to know you will be fine. I am comforted you will spend time with people who sincerely love you. I could not be more pleased about that, but secretly, mousie, I love that you need me. It feels good.
I know soon enough you will want to do things yourself. You will want to go places all the time without me and spend time in our home on your own. I know this is healthy and good for you. But you are only a baby for such a short time - a snapshot really. I can only rock you to sleep for so long and cuddle and kiss you for so long. Soon enough, you will become your own wonderfully independent person, of whom I will be amazed and proud of. I will look at you and remember your little mouse sounds and how soft your hands were or how cute your little toesies were. I will forever remember my baby, my mouse, my love.
So I will go back to work with a strong face and a heart suited up with armour. I will kiss you and smile when I leave, and make sure you know I am going to be okay too. Even though we are apart in this next stage, we are going to do this together. Together, we will probably cry a little. Together, we will meet new people the other won't. Together, we will wish we were at the Forks or just cuddling on the couch. Together, we will become stronger. We will be fine. We will always be fine.
I love you always and forever.
Much love,
Mommy
December 25, 2012
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/3357329.jpg)
Merry Christmas P!
I am utterly and completely exhausted - what a day!!! I cannot in good conscience go to sleep tonight without telling you about your first Christmas. What a horrible mother I would be!!! So let's start at the beginning ...
You woke up late (as usual). Daddy and I were waiting staring at your baby monitor looking, praying, hoping for some kind of movement so we could rush up there and snatch you out of bed. No such luck. We waited until about 8:15, until we could wait no more. Santa had come and left all these great prezzies and your stocking was laying out. You had to wake up!!!
So up we went, the both of us, up the stairs foot by heavy foot. We were talking loud and turning off fans and turning on lights and we even flushed the toilet. You didn't bat an eyelash. I had to literally pick you out of your crib still sleeping. You finally woke up when we got downstairs and heard the TV on. Anything for Peppa, huh Mouse??? You didn't even notice your stocking on the floor with all your goodies! Daddy had to put you on the floor on his lap and then you saw them and let out your signature ... "ooooooohhhhhhh!" Then, my girl, you went to town. You wasted no time tearing into presents and opening up the stocking Santa left you. It took you over an hour. That's not normal. Santa must really think you are a good girl.
After your stocking, we got you some cereal, fruit and yogurt and took you out of your holiday sleeper and put you into your "My 1st Christmas" shirt and tutu. You looked so sweet. You always look sweet, but you were exceptionally sweet today, love. My little Christmas elf! I couldn't stop kissing your sweet little face. Grampa came by for some breakfast and so did Grumpa and Gramle. They were excited to spend your first Christmas with you. We had fruit, danishes, and cinnamon buns for breakfast. Everyone was really excited to see you open your presents!
We went downstairs and started with your gifts from Grampa. He got you lots of clothes and a bunch of toys. You didn't really know what to do about the wrapping paper - at first you were a little timid of it, and then you started tearing it off and playing with it! It did not take long for you become fascinated with it! Grumpa and Gramle gave you some really pretty clothes and an awesome toy farm. Grumpa even made a book with your picture in it. You had a lot of fun. The only problem was - you are too loved!!! You had way too many presents to open and you became bored and tired. Your grandparents all left so that you could have a nap. When you napped, Daddy and Mommy exchanged their presents. As usual, Daddy was very, very generous to Mommy.
When you woke up, we had a little time for a few more gifts, but then we had to get ready to go to Grumpa's for dinner. We put you in your cute cute little red dress that Jim and Liz gave you. It looked so good on you!!! We made sure to pack up all the things you would need - you would think we were going to Denver we packed up so much! It was good to visit with everyone at Grumpa and Gramle's and we had such a nice meal. When we were done, we went to Kendra's for the big Smith party!
You were the star of the night! You crawled around the house as though it were your own. You loved playing with the kids and enjoyed all the attention from all your aunts and uncles and cousins. Of course you favourite person in the world, Grampa was there. I love seeing your face light up when you see him or hear him and he just loves seeing you. He was so proud of you and his face beamed every time someone told him how cute you are. Mommy was a little nervous about the cat near you - She is old and a wee bit on the grumpish side of things. Even though you were exhausted you maintained your amazing spirit and happy nature all day and night long.
By time we got home my little mouse was fast asleep. Mommy was smart and put you in your sleeper before we left Kendra's house. I just brought you in and put you in your crib, wished you a merry christmas and sweet dreams. Tomorrow we will be up and at'em with our boxing day shopping. Mommy and Daddy have scouted out Polo Park and we have a sure and definite agenda. This is serious business and you are getting tossed right into the bullpen of Boxing Day Shopping. As Gramma would say "Never be afraid to use a little elbow."
Merry Christmas Sweet Mouse!
Much Love,
Mommy
I am utterly and completely exhausted - what a day!!! I cannot in good conscience go to sleep tonight without telling you about your first Christmas. What a horrible mother I would be!!! So let's start at the beginning ...
You woke up late (as usual). Daddy and I were waiting staring at your baby monitor looking, praying, hoping for some kind of movement so we could rush up there and snatch you out of bed. No such luck. We waited until about 8:15, until we could wait no more. Santa had come and left all these great prezzies and your stocking was laying out. You had to wake up!!!
So up we went, the both of us, up the stairs foot by heavy foot. We were talking loud and turning off fans and turning on lights and we even flushed the toilet. You didn't bat an eyelash. I had to literally pick you out of your crib still sleeping. You finally woke up when we got downstairs and heard the TV on. Anything for Peppa, huh Mouse??? You didn't even notice your stocking on the floor with all your goodies! Daddy had to put you on the floor on his lap and then you saw them and let out your signature ... "ooooooohhhhhhh!" Then, my girl, you went to town. You wasted no time tearing into presents and opening up the stocking Santa left you. It took you over an hour. That's not normal. Santa must really think you are a good girl.
After your stocking, we got you some cereal, fruit and yogurt and took you out of your holiday sleeper and put you into your "My 1st Christmas" shirt and tutu. You looked so sweet. You always look sweet, but you were exceptionally sweet today, love. My little Christmas elf! I couldn't stop kissing your sweet little face. Grampa came by for some breakfast and so did Grumpa and Gramle. They were excited to spend your first Christmas with you. We had fruit, danishes, and cinnamon buns for breakfast. Everyone was really excited to see you open your presents!
We went downstairs and started with your gifts from Grampa. He got you lots of clothes and a bunch of toys. You didn't really know what to do about the wrapping paper - at first you were a little timid of it, and then you started tearing it off and playing with it! It did not take long for you become fascinated with it! Grumpa and Gramle gave you some really pretty clothes and an awesome toy farm. Grumpa even made a book with your picture in it. You had a lot of fun. The only problem was - you are too loved!!! You had way too many presents to open and you became bored and tired. Your grandparents all left so that you could have a nap. When you napped, Daddy and Mommy exchanged their presents. As usual, Daddy was very, very generous to Mommy.
When you woke up, we had a little time for a few more gifts, but then we had to get ready to go to Grumpa's for dinner. We put you in your cute cute little red dress that Jim and Liz gave you. It looked so good on you!!! We made sure to pack up all the things you would need - you would think we were going to Denver we packed up so much! It was good to visit with everyone at Grumpa and Gramle's and we had such a nice meal. When we were done, we went to Kendra's for the big Smith party!
You were the star of the night! You crawled around the house as though it were your own. You loved playing with the kids and enjoyed all the attention from all your aunts and uncles and cousins. Of course you favourite person in the world, Grampa was there. I love seeing your face light up when you see him or hear him and he just loves seeing you. He was so proud of you and his face beamed every time someone told him how cute you are. Mommy was a little nervous about the cat near you - She is old and a wee bit on the grumpish side of things. Even though you were exhausted you maintained your amazing spirit and happy nature all day and night long.
By time we got home my little mouse was fast asleep. Mommy was smart and put you in your sleeper before we left Kendra's house. I just brought you in and put you in your crib, wished you a merry christmas and sweet dreams. Tomorrow we will be up and at'em with our boxing day shopping. Mommy and Daddy have scouted out Polo Park and we have a sure and definite agenda. This is serious business and you are getting tossed right into the bullpen of Boxing Day Shopping. As Gramma would say "Never be afraid to use a little elbow."
Merry Christmas Sweet Mouse!
Much Love,
Mommy
January 15, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/494434.jpg?207)
Dear Pacey-rae,
Mommy is sitting here wondering how all those lottery tickets she bought in the past two months didn't pan out to anymore than $20 and second chances that did not work out. I want you to know that if I could, I would stay home with you and not go back to work. Tomorrow I am nervous to go back to work. Nervous for you, nervous for me. Nervous for it all. I know you will be fine. I know everything will work out perfectly, but sometimes even knowing isn't enough.
When I think about the past year with you, I smile. We had such great adventures and met so many great people. We got to know each other very well, you and I. You are the best part of my life, the absolute best. If I never do anything else in the world, I will have done enough just by being your mother. You are an angel. You have know idea just how much you have given to this world in such a short time. You brought sunshine when my world was pretty cloudy. You put the happy in my happiness. You are quite simply, my everything.
Tomorrow will be hard. It will be hard to kiss you goodbye. It will be hard to spend the day with 23 other kids and not my own. Tomorrow will be different, but you know sweet pea, different is not always bad. Different is just different, it is a switch of gears, a turn of events, and a different perspective. So I am choosing to look forward to the part of tomorrow where I walk in the door as soon as I can at the end of the day and see your beautiful face and feel your hug and your love. That is what I am going to look forward to. Tomorrow will be a hard day, but man is it going to turn out great. Tomorrow you will still be my girl, my baby, my mouse. And, tomorrow I will still be your mommy. And finally, tomorrow we will still love, that never ever changes. So let's look forward to our tomorrow, shall we. To tomorrow.
Much love,
Mommy
Mommy is sitting here wondering how all those lottery tickets she bought in the past two months didn't pan out to anymore than $20 and second chances that did not work out. I want you to know that if I could, I would stay home with you and not go back to work. Tomorrow I am nervous to go back to work. Nervous for you, nervous for me. Nervous for it all. I know you will be fine. I know everything will work out perfectly, but sometimes even knowing isn't enough.
When I think about the past year with you, I smile. We had such great adventures and met so many great people. We got to know each other very well, you and I. You are the best part of my life, the absolute best. If I never do anything else in the world, I will have done enough just by being your mother. You are an angel. You have know idea just how much you have given to this world in such a short time. You brought sunshine when my world was pretty cloudy. You put the happy in my happiness. You are quite simply, my everything.
Tomorrow will be hard. It will be hard to kiss you goodbye. It will be hard to spend the day with 23 other kids and not my own. Tomorrow will be different, but you know sweet pea, different is not always bad. Different is just different, it is a switch of gears, a turn of events, and a different perspective. So I am choosing to look forward to the part of tomorrow where I walk in the door as soon as I can at the end of the day and see your beautiful face and feel your hug and your love. That is what I am going to look forward to. Tomorrow will be a hard day, but man is it going to turn out great. Tomorrow you will still be my girl, my baby, my mouse. And, tomorrow I will still be your mommy. And finally, tomorrow we will still love, that never ever changes. So let's look forward to our tomorrow, shall we. To tomorrow.
Much love,
Mommy
January 27, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/5976125.jpg?213)
Oh Pacey!!!
What have I gotten myself into??? I have spent the last month planning your birthday party. I wanted it to be special, I wanted it to be memorable and unique - so I thought and thought and thought about your birthday theme. The party store has great Sesame Street, Hello Kitty, and Dora theme packs. That would have been easy ... and just fine. But fine is simply not enough for you! I want it to be finetacular, finetastic, finedurful!!! Your birthday must be the best and as one of a kind as you. I tried my best and here is what I came up with.
You have a vast assortment of animal print clothing - which is going to serve beautifully for your 12 months or 1 year photo shoot. I am already so excited to see you in those outfits! Anyhow, back to the party plans - the theme is ... wait for it .... IT"S BEEN A WILD YEAR!!! We are going to have animal themed decorations and I have a banner I have made with pictures from every month of your year and we are making loot bags. It will be great. I just don't know if I will pull it off in time! I might have to call in the troops - really meaning, Auntie Krista. We will see. I would love for her to come and just be a guest at one of your events instead of always having jobs to do. She is a great Auntie and she loves you so much.
I am sure it will all come together and afterwards I will say, "what was I so worried about?" Daddy says mommy gets too worked up about these things and they always seem to work out in the end. Could it really be? Is Daddy right? Oh dear, what is happening to my world???
Much love,
Mommy
What have I gotten myself into??? I have spent the last month planning your birthday party. I wanted it to be special, I wanted it to be memorable and unique - so I thought and thought and thought about your birthday theme. The party store has great Sesame Street, Hello Kitty, and Dora theme packs. That would have been easy ... and just fine. But fine is simply not enough for you! I want it to be finetacular, finetastic, finedurful!!! Your birthday must be the best and as one of a kind as you. I tried my best and here is what I came up with.
You have a vast assortment of animal print clothing - which is going to serve beautifully for your 12 months or 1 year photo shoot. I am already so excited to see you in those outfits! Anyhow, back to the party plans - the theme is ... wait for it .... IT"S BEEN A WILD YEAR!!! We are going to have animal themed decorations and I have a banner I have made with pictures from every month of your year and we are making loot bags. It will be great. I just don't know if I will pull it off in time! I might have to call in the troops - really meaning, Auntie Krista. We will see. I would love for her to come and just be a guest at one of your events instead of always having jobs to do. She is a great Auntie and she loves you so much.
I am sure it will all come together and afterwards I will say, "what was I so worried about?" Daddy says mommy gets too worked up about these things and they always seem to work out in the end. Could it really be? Is Daddy right? Oh dear, what is happening to my world???
Much love,
Mommy
February 2, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/2525485.jpg)
Pacey - we did it!!!
The party came together and was such a blast! We had such an amazing time! Let me tell you it was down to the wire with a cake malfunction and cupcake decorating and house cleaning being done 30 minutes before start time but guess who came and saved the day? Your Auntie Krista of course!!! She was calm, cool, and collected. She came and iced while mommy blew up balloons and managed your minor fits - yes, honey, you are not perfect, and yesterday you were a little bit of a devil. You kept getting into everything and you wanted to be with mommy ALL the time. Daddy was grumpy because he had to clean the downstairs bathroom and Mommy was crazy stressed. Auntie Krista came and went out and got the cake, she was amazing. Mommy is so thankful for her. I hope you have a "sister" like Auntie Krista to grow up and love you as much as Auntie Krista loves Mommy and Mommy loves her.
The house looked great and the party was wonderful! Everyone had a great time! So many people came and were excited to share such a special day with such a special little girl. People who couldn't make it sent their messages of love and wished you the best on your birthday. You were a star! You smiled through your grumps and were happy and excited to see everyone. You spent the better part of the party crawling around chasing Cosby! You really love your Cos! Daddy made a chili and there was so much great food that everyone enjoyed. Bentley and Sydney helped you open your presents and you got some really special and lovely things! It's always fun when a friend gives you something they love too!
The best part of the day, mouse, was cake time. In your life, you have never not once had sweets. That was until now - your birthday. All the food you have eaten has been organic/natural and mommy has hand made all your baby food. I was so reluctant to let you have the cake but I knew it was important so Auntie Krista came back with a white cake with white icing - perfect for not staining clothes!!! At first you weren't sure - you wanted to play with the animals that were on the top of the cake and then, you got a taste of the icing and you feasted like a princess! Not so much on the cake, but man oh man did you love the icing!!! Everyone was laughing and taking pictures because your expressions were hilarious! You are too cute, I can't even stand it! It was a great way to remember the best day of my life!
Already planning birthday #2 P! It's going to be great!!
Much love,
Mommy
The party came together and was such a blast! We had such an amazing time! Let me tell you it was down to the wire with a cake malfunction and cupcake decorating and house cleaning being done 30 minutes before start time but guess who came and saved the day? Your Auntie Krista of course!!! She was calm, cool, and collected. She came and iced while mommy blew up balloons and managed your minor fits - yes, honey, you are not perfect, and yesterday you were a little bit of a devil. You kept getting into everything and you wanted to be with mommy ALL the time. Daddy was grumpy because he had to clean the downstairs bathroom and Mommy was crazy stressed. Auntie Krista came and went out and got the cake, she was amazing. Mommy is so thankful for her. I hope you have a "sister" like Auntie Krista to grow up and love you as much as Auntie Krista loves Mommy and Mommy loves her.
The house looked great and the party was wonderful! Everyone had a great time! So many people came and were excited to share such a special day with such a special little girl. People who couldn't make it sent their messages of love and wished you the best on your birthday. You were a star! You smiled through your grumps and were happy and excited to see everyone. You spent the better part of the party crawling around chasing Cosby! You really love your Cos! Daddy made a chili and there was so much great food that everyone enjoyed. Bentley and Sydney helped you open your presents and you got some really special and lovely things! It's always fun when a friend gives you something they love too!
The best part of the day, mouse, was cake time. In your life, you have never not once had sweets. That was until now - your birthday. All the food you have eaten has been organic/natural and mommy has hand made all your baby food. I was so reluctant to let you have the cake but I knew it was important so Auntie Krista came back with a white cake with white icing - perfect for not staining clothes!!! At first you weren't sure - you wanted to play with the animals that were on the top of the cake and then, you got a taste of the icing and you feasted like a princess! Not so much on the cake, but man oh man did you love the icing!!! Everyone was laughing and taking pictures because your expressions were hilarious! You are too cute, I can't even stand it! It was a great way to remember the best day of my life!
Already planning birthday #2 P! It's going to be great!!
Much love,
Mommy
Febraury 18, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/5121071.jpg?176)
Hi Pacey!!!
It's been a busy couple of months hasn't it? Birthdays, meeting new people, spending our days apart, and all sorts of busy times. I sometimes wish I could press the pause button on life and cuddle you up with some monkey hugs on the rocking chair and just be still for a moment. I get these moments at the end of my days right before you have your bottle and rock down for the night. Daddy gets everything ready and I just get to snuggle you. It really is the best. I can't think of anything I would rather do!
Your hair is getting so long, love! It is soft and so beautiful. I love touching it when we are snuggling and I love more when I stop touching it and you grab my hand with your little hand and put it back on your head. It always makes me smile. I think that life gave me a baby with long hair because doing fun and fancy things with hair is pretty much my thing. I can't wait for the braids and curls, the barrets and the ponies, the buns and the twists - all the things I am going to do to your hair. This is why I have always played with your hair so much - I don't want to fight about it when you are older. I am hoping you get used to me touching your hair!
All that is interesting and lovely ... but what I am really excited for P, is that you took your first steps about 2 weeks ago!!! Since then, you haven't stopped. Every single day you step a little further than the last time and every time you fall, Daddy and I go "OOOHHHHHHH! Good Tumble!" And we clap. You get up with a smile on your face and try again. I can tell you are full of spirit! I love that about you - I know it is going to take a lot to get you down in life, which is a wonderful quality to have. I know you are proud of yourself too, you get a great big smile and you clap for yourself when you tumble. Keep positive my girl, even experts had to be beginners at some point!
Much love,
Mommy
It's been a busy couple of months hasn't it? Birthdays, meeting new people, spending our days apart, and all sorts of busy times. I sometimes wish I could press the pause button on life and cuddle you up with some monkey hugs on the rocking chair and just be still for a moment. I get these moments at the end of my days right before you have your bottle and rock down for the night. Daddy gets everything ready and I just get to snuggle you. It really is the best. I can't think of anything I would rather do!
Your hair is getting so long, love! It is soft and so beautiful. I love touching it when we are snuggling and I love more when I stop touching it and you grab my hand with your little hand and put it back on your head. It always makes me smile. I think that life gave me a baby with long hair because doing fun and fancy things with hair is pretty much my thing. I can't wait for the braids and curls, the barrets and the ponies, the buns and the twists - all the things I am going to do to your hair. This is why I have always played with your hair so much - I don't want to fight about it when you are older. I am hoping you get used to me touching your hair!
All that is interesting and lovely ... but what I am really excited for P, is that you took your first steps about 2 weeks ago!!! Since then, you haven't stopped. Every single day you step a little further than the last time and every time you fall, Daddy and I go "OOOHHHHHHH! Good Tumble!" And we clap. You get up with a smile on your face and try again. I can tell you are full of spirit! I love that about you - I know it is going to take a lot to get you down in life, which is a wonderful quality to have. I know you are proud of yourself too, you get a great big smile and you clap for yourself when you tumble. Keep positive my girl, even experts had to be beginners at some point!
Much love,
Mommy
March 16, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/4496146.jpg?182)
Dear P,
I want to tell you a little bit about some of the other sides of mommy. You see, Pacey, I am always Mommy to you. I am your mother, but it was not the first or only thing I am.
First I was a daughter - just like you! I love being a daughter and I take it very seriously. When I was a young daughter, I loved being with my mom and dad. My favourite things to do with my mom was to be silly and play make pretend games. We spent a lot of time outside, walking, playing, talking, and laughing. Inside the house, she read me stories, played dolls with me, and made crafts. I used to love it so much when we made paper dolls - someday I will show you. I remember my room being surrounded in paper dolls (but not for long, Gramma loved a clean house). When I was a little older, Gramma and I used to drive to Portage La Prairie to visit her mom, who was very sick. I loved those drives. I know now, that me being there, gave Gramma a peace of mind and made that hour long drive home much happier. It felt important to be there at the time, and I am so happy I went. Gramma and I also shared a LOVE for shopping. Every Saturday, Gramma and I would go to Polo Park and have a look around the mall and choose up a few treats as well! We also didn't mind taking the odd day trip to the States to pick up some deals and unique things - that is a whole other letter in itself, honey!!! The point is, I love being my mother's daughter. I am proud to be her daughter and I feel very lucky she was my mom.
I am not only Gramma's daughter though, P! I am also Grampa's daughter! Grampa is so important to mommy. Grampa helps the world stand still when it begins to rock. Grampa is a fixer and he will always find an answer - sometimes it isn't the answer you want, but it is always the answer you need. He is a believer in not sweating the small stuff and never taking more than you give. Grampa has always enjoyed telling a story and a good joke. Someday I am going to write his stories of Treherne that he used to tell Uncle Ryan and me when we were small. I loved hearing those stories - they were better than any book every written and told by one of the best story tellers in history. Grampa is a man of action, if there is a job to be done, he does it! When I was a little girl, I loved to be around Grampa because something was always going on. We never sat still and it was always an adventure - sometimes not the safest but ALWAYS the most fun. Grampa loved playing catch, baseball, building things, bike riding, mini biking, and camping with his kids. He loved playing tricks and practical jokes and was never afraid of anything. Being with Grampa felt like I had wings that would stretch out and fly through time.
There was one thing that Gramma and Grampa shared that they were both very good at. Sure they were both funny, and kind hearted, and free spirited. They both loved to entertain and play sports. They were both good at keeping a clean and tidy house and raising happy and healthy kids. But the thing they were very very good at ... was loving. They both loved with a pure and open heart. They let Mommy and Uncle Ryan find their own dreams and did whatever they could to make those dreams come true. They rarely said no without a good reason that was easily understood, and they always lived love, showed love, and gave love. For that, I am ever grateful.
I was also a sister. This was not always the easiest job, someday you will understand. Uncle Ryan was 3 years old when Mommy was born. He was in the hospital because he was sick at the same time I was born. When Grampa told him that he had a surprise and wheeled him over to meet me, he was not happy. I guess I wasn't the best surprise! I can understand that! Somehow though, growing up, Uncle Ryan and I did find our way. We played mini sticks in the basement (epically long games that went into scores of the hundreds), we made silly videos, we destinized, we played tricks on Grampa, we played road tennis, and we watched television together. The best part of being Uncle Ryan's sister was all the fun we had. He is the funniest person that mommy knows, and he always says something unexpected and hilarious and makes me crack up. He was also a very thoughtful brother. One year for Christmas, when I was playing goalie for my ringette team, he bought me a goalie stick in my team colours, he taped it up and marked it DEMONS #1 in red letters. It was the best gift he ever gave me. Another year he bought me a tennis racket and when he was in the States he got it restrung with rainbow strings. I loved that tennis racket, I absolutely loved it.
Pacey, we are blessed to come from a really big family. There are so many of us! Both Gramma and Grampa have lots of brothers and sisters, which means there are lots and lots of cousins, which means this family is always growing, always multiplying. We can easily fill a hall, but never all ride in the same car! Gramma used to say "The best part of having a big family is that you will never be alone." She was right. I know that love and help are never too far away. I know in hard times, I have an aunt to hug, an uncle to reassure, and cousins who make me smile and laugh. What do I think about this? Very simply ... Lucky me.
I have also been a friend to many people. Being a friend is such an important job honey. It means being there when someone needs you. You know what they say about friends? They are the family that you get to choose in life. My advice, mouse, choose carefully. Choose friends that you enjoy being around, people who encourage you and always build you up before they tear you down. Choose friends who listen and care, and laugh and play really hard. Choose friends who make you feel great when you are with them. This, choosing your friends, is a very good guideline to being a friend. Another of Gramma's favourite things to say was, actually there are two that apply here. The first ... "There is always room for one more." This is important. Be inclusive. If you notice someone is left out, ask them to join. If someone looks sad, try your best to paint a smile on their face - there is always a story behind a frown. A good friend is the one who always cares to know and figure out. A good friend is the one who is part of the solution not the problem. Be a good friend. The other thing Gramma used to always say was to always think of one thing when you part ways with your friend for the day ... "How did you make them feel?" It makes sense, right? If you did your part and you were a good friend, your friend is going to be happy and want to spend more time with you. If you didn't do your part and you were more worried about taking before you gave, your friend might want to spend time with someone else. It's something to consider, peanut, don't take it lightly.
One of the best days of my life was the day your dad asked me to marry him. Before I was his wife, I was his girlfriend. Daddy was a great boyfriend. He was my perfect match. If I had to choose again, I would choose him every single time! He has so many great qualities. Your daddy is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He understands things way beyond my comprehension and is able to explain them in a way that makes perfect sense. He is strong minded and backs his opinions with facts. The best quality about your dad is that he is a really, really good friend. He is my best friend and I love my life with him. Daddy always helps his friends and he makes sure that they are taken care of and happy. He loves to laugh with his friends and is always there when they need him. I really like that about him. Daddy also really loved Gramma and she loved him too. When we first started to date, she used to say to me "Missy, he is your one, don't let this one go." Grampa also really loves Daddy. They both used to tell someone that "Jace never has much to say, but when he does talk, it is worth listening to." Through the years, your dad has started to speak more.
Daddy and I have had so many adventures Pacey. We met on a trip in British Columbia, and we have loved travelling since then. Daddy and I have been together nearly 20 years! That's a long time. We have gone to concerts and movies and sports events. We have rented apartments and bought and sold houses. We bought dogs and cars and built things together. Daddy and I love to shop together and go for walks. We love watching football and hockey. I think though, the best adventure, was becoming your parents. Life will never be the same, and I am so happy and grateful that Daddy and I are on this adventure! We are both completely, utterly, undeniably in love with you. This could lead to trouble...
Much love,
Mommy
I want to tell you a little bit about some of the other sides of mommy. You see, Pacey, I am always Mommy to you. I am your mother, but it was not the first or only thing I am.
First I was a daughter - just like you! I love being a daughter and I take it very seriously. When I was a young daughter, I loved being with my mom and dad. My favourite things to do with my mom was to be silly and play make pretend games. We spent a lot of time outside, walking, playing, talking, and laughing. Inside the house, she read me stories, played dolls with me, and made crafts. I used to love it so much when we made paper dolls - someday I will show you. I remember my room being surrounded in paper dolls (but not for long, Gramma loved a clean house). When I was a little older, Gramma and I used to drive to Portage La Prairie to visit her mom, who was very sick. I loved those drives. I know now, that me being there, gave Gramma a peace of mind and made that hour long drive home much happier. It felt important to be there at the time, and I am so happy I went. Gramma and I also shared a LOVE for shopping. Every Saturday, Gramma and I would go to Polo Park and have a look around the mall and choose up a few treats as well! We also didn't mind taking the odd day trip to the States to pick up some deals and unique things - that is a whole other letter in itself, honey!!! The point is, I love being my mother's daughter. I am proud to be her daughter and I feel very lucky she was my mom.
I am not only Gramma's daughter though, P! I am also Grampa's daughter! Grampa is so important to mommy. Grampa helps the world stand still when it begins to rock. Grampa is a fixer and he will always find an answer - sometimes it isn't the answer you want, but it is always the answer you need. He is a believer in not sweating the small stuff and never taking more than you give. Grampa has always enjoyed telling a story and a good joke. Someday I am going to write his stories of Treherne that he used to tell Uncle Ryan and me when we were small. I loved hearing those stories - they were better than any book every written and told by one of the best story tellers in history. Grampa is a man of action, if there is a job to be done, he does it! When I was a little girl, I loved to be around Grampa because something was always going on. We never sat still and it was always an adventure - sometimes not the safest but ALWAYS the most fun. Grampa loved playing catch, baseball, building things, bike riding, mini biking, and camping with his kids. He loved playing tricks and practical jokes and was never afraid of anything. Being with Grampa felt like I had wings that would stretch out and fly through time.
There was one thing that Gramma and Grampa shared that they were both very good at. Sure they were both funny, and kind hearted, and free spirited. They both loved to entertain and play sports. They were both good at keeping a clean and tidy house and raising happy and healthy kids. But the thing they were very very good at ... was loving. They both loved with a pure and open heart. They let Mommy and Uncle Ryan find their own dreams and did whatever they could to make those dreams come true. They rarely said no without a good reason that was easily understood, and they always lived love, showed love, and gave love. For that, I am ever grateful.
I was also a sister. This was not always the easiest job, someday you will understand. Uncle Ryan was 3 years old when Mommy was born. He was in the hospital because he was sick at the same time I was born. When Grampa told him that he had a surprise and wheeled him over to meet me, he was not happy. I guess I wasn't the best surprise! I can understand that! Somehow though, growing up, Uncle Ryan and I did find our way. We played mini sticks in the basement (epically long games that went into scores of the hundreds), we made silly videos, we destinized, we played tricks on Grampa, we played road tennis, and we watched television together. The best part of being Uncle Ryan's sister was all the fun we had. He is the funniest person that mommy knows, and he always says something unexpected and hilarious and makes me crack up. He was also a very thoughtful brother. One year for Christmas, when I was playing goalie for my ringette team, he bought me a goalie stick in my team colours, he taped it up and marked it DEMONS #1 in red letters. It was the best gift he ever gave me. Another year he bought me a tennis racket and when he was in the States he got it restrung with rainbow strings. I loved that tennis racket, I absolutely loved it.
Pacey, we are blessed to come from a really big family. There are so many of us! Both Gramma and Grampa have lots of brothers and sisters, which means there are lots and lots of cousins, which means this family is always growing, always multiplying. We can easily fill a hall, but never all ride in the same car! Gramma used to say "The best part of having a big family is that you will never be alone." She was right. I know that love and help are never too far away. I know in hard times, I have an aunt to hug, an uncle to reassure, and cousins who make me smile and laugh. What do I think about this? Very simply ... Lucky me.
I have also been a friend to many people. Being a friend is such an important job honey. It means being there when someone needs you. You know what they say about friends? They are the family that you get to choose in life. My advice, mouse, choose carefully. Choose friends that you enjoy being around, people who encourage you and always build you up before they tear you down. Choose friends who listen and care, and laugh and play really hard. Choose friends who make you feel great when you are with them. This, choosing your friends, is a very good guideline to being a friend. Another of Gramma's favourite things to say was, actually there are two that apply here. The first ... "There is always room for one more." This is important. Be inclusive. If you notice someone is left out, ask them to join. If someone looks sad, try your best to paint a smile on their face - there is always a story behind a frown. A good friend is the one who always cares to know and figure out. A good friend is the one who is part of the solution not the problem. Be a good friend. The other thing Gramma used to always say was to always think of one thing when you part ways with your friend for the day ... "How did you make them feel?" It makes sense, right? If you did your part and you were a good friend, your friend is going to be happy and want to spend more time with you. If you didn't do your part and you were more worried about taking before you gave, your friend might want to spend time with someone else. It's something to consider, peanut, don't take it lightly.
One of the best days of my life was the day your dad asked me to marry him. Before I was his wife, I was his girlfriend. Daddy was a great boyfriend. He was my perfect match. If I had to choose again, I would choose him every single time! He has so many great qualities. Your daddy is one of the smartest people I have ever met. He understands things way beyond my comprehension and is able to explain them in a way that makes perfect sense. He is strong minded and backs his opinions with facts. The best quality about your dad is that he is a really, really good friend. He is my best friend and I love my life with him. Daddy always helps his friends and he makes sure that they are taken care of and happy. He loves to laugh with his friends and is always there when they need him. I really like that about him. Daddy also really loved Gramma and she loved him too. When we first started to date, she used to say to me "Missy, he is your one, don't let this one go." Grampa also really loves Daddy. They both used to tell someone that "Jace never has much to say, but when he does talk, it is worth listening to." Through the years, your dad has started to speak more.
Daddy and I have had so many adventures Pacey. We met on a trip in British Columbia, and we have loved travelling since then. Daddy and I have been together nearly 20 years! That's a long time. We have gone to concerts and movies and sports events. We have rented apartments and bought and sold houses. We bought dogs and cars and built things together. Daddy and I love to shop together and go for walks. We love watching football and hockey. I think though, the best adventure, was becoming your parents. Life will never be the same, and I am so happy and grateful that Daddy and I are on this adventure! We are both completely, utterly, undeniably in love with you. This could lead to trouble...
Much love,
Mommy
April 4, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/9680622.jpeg?196)
Dear Pacey,
Two years ago today, I started saying good bye to Gramma. I haven't finished - I am not sure I ever will. Saying good bye is hard enough for a short time, never mind forever. I am not sure how long this letter will be, love, because my heart is very heavy today. The space in my heart that belongs to Gramma, feels like it is beating outside of my chest. Gramma was my first true love. She gave so much, and took so little back. She was incredible and it is very hard somedays to understand that she is gone. I am trying. I am really, really trying.
I stopped writing this letter this morning to you and have just begun again. It's late and you are asleep. Today was an exceptionally hard day for me. I am not sure why but it was difficult. For the first part of the day, I felt like I was just going through the motions of my day and sitting in the company of sadness. I excused myself and justified and rationalized saying "It's grief, I am grieving." But now, I am ashamed for that. My mom never would have wanted me to be like that. Not on a day like today. So I stopped. I stopped and I thought, how would mom want me to feel and be and act on this day every year. The answer was easier than I imagined. It came to me straight away.
She would want me to be happy. She always wanted me to be happy. She would want me to find and do something that made me smile. She would want to be remembered and celebrated. She would like to laugh and enjoy with me - wherever she is - and I am not helping her by moping around, am I? So you know what Pacey? From now on, every single April 4th - we are going to do something fun. We are going to do something that Gramma would have loved to do and I am going to spend that time telling you all about this wonderful lady and just how much she loves you. April 4th can't be a day to be sad and cry - not when there is so much happiness and love to remember - and especially not when I have a sweet little angel like you to share it with. Next year, mouse, let's celebrate!
Much love,
Mommy
Two years ago today, I started saying good bye to Gramma. I haven't finished - I am not sure I ever will. Saying good bye is hard enough for a short time, never mind forever. I am not sure how long this letter will be, love, because my heart is very heavy today. The space in my heart that belongs to Gramma, feels like it is beating outside of my chest. Gramma was my first true love. She gave so much, and took so little back. She was incredible and it is very hard somedays to understand that she is gone. I am trying. I am really, really trying.
I stopped writing this letter this morning to you and have just begun again. It's late and you are asleep. Today was an exceptionally hard day for me. I am not sure why but it was difficult. For the first part of the day, I felt like I was just going through the motions of my day and sitting in the company of sadness. I excused myself and justified and rationalized saying "It's grief, I am grieving." But now, I am ashamed for that. My mom never would have wanted me to be like that. Not on a day like today. So I stopped. I stopped and I thought, how would mom want me to feel and be and act on this day every year. The answer was easier than I imagined. It came to me straight away.
She would want me to be happy. She always wanted me to be happy. She would want me to find and do something that made me smile. She would want to be remembered and celebrated. She would like to laugh and enjoy with me - wherever she is - and I am not helping her by moping around, am I? So you know what Pacey? From now on, every single April 4th - we are going to do something fun. We are going to do something that Gramma would have loved to do and I am going to spend that time telling you all about this wonderful lady and just how much she loves you. April 4th can't be a day to be sad and cry - not when there is so much happiness and love to remember - and especially not when I have a sweet little angel like you to share it with. Next year, mouse, let's celebrate!
Much love,
Mommy
April 21, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/214432.jpg?182)
Dear Pacey-rae,
Everyday you get more and more fun and exciting to watch! You say new words and do new things. You make funny sounds and you are adventurous!!! You have NO FEAR! Part of me loves this about you, really most of me loves this about you, but it scares the pants off me as well. I would like you to have just a little bit of fear, just a small amount. I guess enough that says "don't eat rocks, don't walk off stairs, don't try to climb over and above and through and in and all over the place!"
I know when you are up to no good because you get that elvish little look on your face. There is a twinkle in your eye and you give that half grin that tells me something is up. For the most part I shadow you because really, I am curious to see what you will do next. But you always know I am there and you start giggling away long before you get to your goal. I love when you do this! Your typical adventures are playing with the blinds, pulling on the dogs, grabbing anything that is within your reach that you should not be grabbing, throwing things down the stairs, taking the vents off the floor, and getting into Daddy's night stand.
I love watching your little personality come out. You are so unique and strong minded. You know what you want and will try your best to get it. I love your determination and your focus. I love how you love to be funny and silly and you always find a way to make us smile. Daddy and I have to work on tough love. You are starting to get away with a little too much. I always say, "it would be so much simpler, if she wasn't so darn cute."
Much love,
Mommy
Everyday you get more and more fun and exciting to watch! You say new words and do new things. You make funny sounds and you are adventurous!!! You have NO FEAR! Part of me loves this about you, really most of me loves this about you, but it scares the pants off me as well. I would like you to have just a little bit of fear, just a small amount. I guess enough that says "don't eat rocks, don't walk off stairs, don't try to climb over and above and through and in and all over the place!"
I know when you are up to no good because you get that elvish little look on your face. There is a twinkle in your eye and you give that half grin that tells me something is up. For the most part I shadow you because really, I am curious to see what you will do next. But you always know I am there and you start giggling away long before you get to your goal. I love when you do this! Your typical adventures are playing with the blinds, pulling on the dogs, grabbing anything that is within your reach that you should not be grabbing, throwing things down the stairs, taking the vents off the floor, and getting into Daddy's night stand.
I love watching your little personality come out. You are so unique and strong minded. You know what you want and will try your best to get it. I love your determination and your focus. I love how you love to be funny and silly and you always find a way to make us smile. Daddy and I have to work on tough love. You are starting to get away with a little too much. I always say, "it would be so much simpler, if she wasn't so darn cute."
Much love,
Mommy
May 25, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/6769727.jpg?186)
Pacey!
Where has all the time gone! I am right in the thick of it at work - assessing student work and writing report cards which really means nothing to you except a less fun mommy at home! I am sorry my girl, it will be over soon and I will have time to sit and play again. Soon we will have lots and lots of time together, I can hardly wait!!! Two whole months and we can do so many great things! We will keep busy and the time will go fast, but let's make the most of it and spend as much time as we can together. The other bonus is you get to sleep in, I know you love your sleep, mouse!
I was thinking the other day about all the things I want to do with you in life - the places, the activities, the small moments, the big ones. It's going to be awesome! I just want you to have a life full of experiences and opportunities. I want every corner you turn down to lead to someplace exciting and new or familiar and comforting. I want you to be happy and healthy and smart. I want all choices to be your choices and I want you to live without regret. I want to help. I hope you invite me to help.
I am always going to support you - no matter which direction your life takes. I want you to know you can always approach me or Daddy without the worry that we will be disappointed or try to discourage you. I believe that your life is meant to be lived by you. I have my own. Daddy has his. I want yours to be yours. Many people are going to toss in their two sense and you will learn to smile and nod and respectfully say "point taken." There are going to be a lot of people who will try to change your mind and turn your opinions. Listen to their points, take what works for you, thank them for thinking of you, and then move on. Your life is your life, do not let anyone take from it what is not theirs.
At the end of the day, every day, you are my daughter, I love you without hesitation, always ... forever.
Much love,
Mommy
Where has all the time gone! I am right in the thick of it at work - assessing student work and writing report cards which really means nothing to you except a less fun mommy at home! I am sorry my girl, it will be over soon and I will have time to sit and play again. Soon we will have lots and lots of time together, I can hardly wait!!! Two whole months and we can do so many great things! We will keep busy and the time will go fast, but let's make the most of it and spend as much time as we can together. The other bonus is you get to sleep in, I know you love your sleep, mouse!
I was thinking the other day about all the things I want to do with you in life - the places, the activities, the small moments, the big ones. It's going to be awesome! I just want you to have a life full of experiences and opportunities. I want every corner you turn down to lead to someplace exciting and new or familiar and comforting. I want you to be happy and healthy and smart. I want all choices to be your choices and I want you to live without regret. I want to help. I hope you invite me to help.
I am always going to support you - no matter which direction your life takes. I want you to know you can always approach me or Daddy without the worry that we will be disappointed or try to discourage you. I believe that your life is meant to be lived by you. I have my own. Daddy has his. I want yours to be yours. Many people are going to toss in their two sense and you will learn to smile and nod and respectfully say "point taken." There are going to be a lot of people who will try to change your mind and turn your opinions. Listen to their points, take what works for you, thank them for thinking of you, and then move on. Your life is your life, do not let anyone take from it what is not theirs.
At the end of the day, every day, you are my daughter, I love you without hesitation, always ... forever.
Much love,
Mommy
June 29, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/8365520.jpg)
Wow P!
It's finally done! The school year is over and I am ready to relax and - oh wait, next job, let's get our house up for sale and decide what we are going to do. So much for relaxing! Oh well - it's all good! At the end of the school year, mommy always sits down with the Grade 5's and writes up their farewell message to the school, staff, and younger students. Of all years that mommy has done this - this was one of the more reflective groups of students mommy has ever written this with. I was so impressed. As I was going through my files on my computer I had it selected to delete, but I held off because I think, mouse, it's something I would like to share with you. They did a good job sending their message and I think, while the entire piece is not something that you could learn from, I do think there are pieces you could take from it. So I will print it out and put it in your special box with all these letters from mommy and I will copy and paste it for your website.
ALL WE WILL EVER REALLY NEED TO KNOW WE LEARNED AT LINWOOD SCHOOL
All we ever really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in hallways, classrooms, and playground of Linwood School. Hiding under stairwells, lurking in the “nook”, and floating around the lunch room – so many memories, so much laughter, and always a lesson to add to my toolbox. Our toolbox will get more filled as we journey on to middle school and high school, but being part of the Linwood family has given us many tools that will help us succeed - things we have learned from teachers and from each other.
These are the things we learned:
One plus one is always two
Friends are the family you get to pick
Family are the friends that will always have your back
Making rules is important, following them is a skill
Never grow up
Listen first, talk second
Stay clear from yellow snow
Make sure you give as much as you take
Never stop learning
If you don’t know, just ask someone
The best hand is a helping hand
Be friendly, be kind, be there when you are needed
Have an open mind
When it comes to friends, there is always room for one more
Smile through your grumps
It’s ok to make mistakes, even experts were beginners at one time
Stand up for what is right
There’s never an excuse to be rude
Hands and Feet to yourself
Laugh hard and laugh often
It’s easier to smile than it is to frown
When you are given lemons, be sweet, make some lemonade
Don’t pick your nose
Use your WITS
Be your own person
You have the power to make someone’s day every day
Be friendly
You have the right to be happy
Hug someone with your eyes whenever you can
Always wonder, always imagine
Everything we will need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic happiness. Ecology and politics and equality and healthy living. We will take these tools to Middle School and put them to good use.
When we are grown, with jobs and cars and children of our own, we will always have these tools. They are forever ours. We can use them ourselves or share them with those we care about, but we will never ever be without them.
Imagine if the world was equipped with a tool box like ours. Think how quickly problems would be solved if we all remembered to give as much as we take or followed the rules we made. What if there was a time during the day every day where everyone smiled or laughed? Let’s face it, the world would be an awesome place.
The world would be like a 100 year old school in the West End of Winnipeg that most people call Linwood School. We are lucky. We can call it home.
Linwood is a family and even though on Thursday we will say good bye and move onto Middle School, we know we will always be welcome home.
So Pacey-rae, take the pieces you need, think about what you would add, and live a beautiful happy life. I often wonder when I look at the kids in my class, what kind of student you will be. I wonder if you will be patient and kind, or if you will be competitive and driven. I wonder if you will love gym and hate music or if art will be your thing. I wonder how you will feel the first year you and your very best friend get separated into different classrooms and I wonder if you will look forward to summer as much as I do.
All these wonders, and a lifetime to answer hmmm?
Much Love,
Mommy
It's finally done! The school year is over and I am ready to relax and - oh wait, next job, let's get our house up for sale and decide what we are going to do. So much for relaxing! Oh well - it's all good! At the end of the school year, mommy always sits down with the Grade 5's and writes up their farewell message to the school, staff, and younger students. Of all years that mommy has done this - this was one of the more reflective groups of students mommy has ever written this with. I was so impressed. As I was going through my files on my computer I had it selected to delete, but I held off because I think, mouse, it's something I would like to share with you. They did a good job sending their message and I think, while the entire piece is not something that you could learn from, I do think there are pieces you could take from it. So I will print it out and put it in your special box with all these letters from mommy and I will copy and paste it for your website.
ALL WE WILL EVER REALLY NEED TO KNOW WE LEARNED AT LINWOOD SCHOOL
All we ever really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in hallways, classrooms, and playground of Linwood School. Hiding under stairwells, lurking in the “nook”, and floating around the lunch room – so many memories, so much laughter, and always a lesson to add to my toolbox. Our toolbox will get more filled as we journey on to middle school and high school, but being part of the Linwood family has given us many tools that will help us succeed - things we have learned from teachers and from each other.
These are the things we learned:
One plus one is always two
Friends are the family you get to pick
Family are the friends that will always have your back
Making rules is important, following them is a skill
Never grow up
Listen first, talk second
Stay clear from yellow snow
Make sure you give as much as you take
Never stop learning
If you don’t know, just ask someone
The best hand is a helping hand
Be friendly, be kind, be there when you are needed
Have an open mind
When it comes to friends, there is always room for one more
Smile through your grumps
It’s ok to make mistakes, even experts were beginners at one time
Stand up for what is right
There’s never an excuse to be rude
Hands and Feet to yourself
Laugh hard and laugh often
It’s easier to smile than it is to frown
When you are given lemons, be sweet, make some lemonade
Don’t pick your nose
Use your WITS
Be your own person
You have the power to make someone’s day every day
Be friendly
You have the right to be happy
Hug someone with your eyes whenever you can
Always wonder, always imagine
Everything we will need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic happiness. Ecology and politics and equality and healthy living. We will take these tools to Middle School and put them to good use.
When we are grown, with jobs and cars and children of our own, we will always have these tools. They are forever ours. We can use them ourselves or share them with those we care about, but we will never ever be without them.
Imagine if the world was equipped with a tool box like ours. Think how quickly problems would be solved if we all remembered to give as much as we take or followed the rules we made. What if there was a time during the day every day where everyone smiled or laughed? Let’s face it, the world would be an awesome place.
The world would be like a 100 year old school in the West End of Winnipeg that most people call Linwood School. We are lucky. We can call it home.
Linwood is a family and even though on Thursday we will say good bye and move onto Middle School, we know we will always be welcome home.
So Pacey-rae, take the pieces you need, think about what you would add, and live a beautiful happy life. I often wonder when I look at the kids in my class, what kind of student you will be. I wonder if you will be patient and kind, or if you will be competitive and driven. I wonder if you will love gym and hate music or if art will be your thing. I wonder how you will feel the first year you and your very best friend get separated into different classrooms and I wonder if you will look forward to summer as much as I do.
All these wonders, and a lifetime to answer hmmm?
Much Love,
Mommy
July 11, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1393197276.jpg)
My sweet little mouse, how I love these long summer days with you. I love waking up and knowing that I have the whole day with you and we can make it whatever we want. We can stay home, we can go out, we can call our friends, or visit Grampa. I just love being here with you and not having to do anything but be your mommy.
I think today we will go visit the animals at Petland. I hope you always have your gentle spot for animals. You get so excited to see a bunny and you can spot them from miles away. On walks you will scream out "BUNNY!" and daddy and I will look and look and then finally we will spot the bunny, four houses ahead underneath a camper van tire. We are always amazed at the things you see. I wonder if you lose that as you get older, the ability to see things clearly and not over think them beyond your sights. It's interesting. I would like to see with that clarity and simplicity again. I would like to just see the bunny as a bunny and not worry about where it is going or who it will encounter. This made me start to think of all the things you have taught me since I became your mommy. Here are a few things that top my list.
You teach me love every single day. I thought I knew love, until I loved you and was loved by you. The love I have for you is undefinable - it is limitless and it will always be, no matter what, no matter where. No one can take that from you or me, not ever, my girl. Remember wherever you are in this big big world, your mommy loves you very much.
You teach me to "Wow" over little tiny things that seem so insignificant. I love when you see something that I have seen everyday for such a long time and you look up at me with wonder and you say "Wow mommy!" I remember to stop and look at that ladybug with fresh eyes, like yours. It's amazing to re-see the world with you, mouse.
You teach me how important a smile is. There are days that seem harder than others and you melt my heart when you smile at me. I now know, that it does not take much to turn a crummy day around. I now know that it doesn't much matter what happened before, it is what is happening right now. Thank you for this.
You teach me priorities. I have learned that a messy house does not mean anything other than, I wanted to play with you or take your somewhere or cuddle up with you for a while. I have learned that everything else comes after you. If you are happy, my world is bright. I have learned that the biggest part of life is who you are to the people who love you, not who you try to be with people who pass through your life.
You teach me that sleep is a good thing. You have loved your sleep since you were born. I have never had to worry if you were going to sleep through the night or if you were going to wake us up. I love how you sink into your deep sleep and make your little mouse sighs and sounds. I love that you sleep hard and heavy. It assures me you are healthy and well rested. It's a good reminder to put work away, or turn off the TV, or the next chapter can wait and that a healthy sleep is important.
You teach me to be an active participant in the world. Honey, you never sit still, you never walk, and you rarely sit. You are a go getter by nature and I love keeping up with you. I love that you are responsive to the world around you and you embrace each new experience as an opportunity. You are resilient and never too tired, or achey, or exhausted to tackle the next adventure.
You teach me to dance when I want to dance, to sing loud and proud not caring who hears, and to laugh at mistakes - brushing them off as "silly mommy." We have so much fun together, I love being your mommy so much. I love our dance parties, I love our sing songs in the car or in the bath - more over I love that we make up songs and dances for silly things like mac and cheese or salt and pepper. I can't wait for more fun and am always surprised how creative you are.
You teach me to colour outside of the lines and that colours are versatile. I love that your Peppa pig is never the same colour and that she is nothing but loop - d - looped over in perfectly created Pacey swirls.
You teach me the power of just being who you are every day. Right now, in this stage of your life, you have no other reason to be anyone but you. I admire that. I love who you are becoming. I love that you accept what happens with such courage and that you always laugh before you cry. My love, you give me so much joy just by being you. You are by far, the best moments of my life.
I can't wait for what I will learn next,
Much love,
Mommy
I think today we will go visit the animals at Petland. I hope you always have your gentle spot for animals. You get so excited to see a bunny and you can spot them from miles away. On walks you will scream out "BUNNY!" and daddy and I will look and look and then finally we will spot the bunny, four houses ahead underneath a camper van tire. We are always amazed at the things you see. I wonder if you lose that as you get older, the ability to see things clearly and not over think them beyond your sights. It's interesting. I would like to see with that clarity and simplicity again. I would like to just see the bunny as a bunny and not worry about where it is going or who it will encounter. This made me start to think of all the things you have taught me since I became your mommy. Here are a few things that top my list.
You teach me love every single day. I thought I knew love, until I loved you and was loved by you. The love I have for you is undefinable - it is limitless and it will always be, no matter what, no matter where. No one can take that from you or me, not ever, my girl. Remember wherever you are in this big big world, your mommy loves you very much.
You teach me to "Wow" over little tiny things that seem so insignificant. I love when you see something that I have seen everyday for such a long time and you look up at me with wonder and you say "Wow mommy!" I remember to stop and look at that ladybug with fresh eyes, like yours. It's amazing to re-see the world with you, mouse.
You teach me how important a smile is. There are days that seem harder than others and you melt my heart when you smile at me. I now know, that it does not take much to turn a crummy day around. I now know that it doesn't much matter what happened before, it is what is happening right now. Thank you for this.
You teach me priorities. I have learned that a messy house does not mean anything other than, I wanted to play with you or take your somewhere or cuddle up with you for a while. I have learned that everything else comes after you. If you are happy, my world is bright. I have learned that the biggest part of life is who you are to the people who love you, not who you try to be with people who pass through your life.
You teach me that sleep is a good thing. You have loved your sleep since you were born. I have never had to worry if you were going to sleep through the night or if you were going to wake us up. I love how you sink into your deep sleep and make your little mouse sighs and sounds. I love that you sleep hard and heavy. It assures me you are healthy and well rested. It's a good reminder to put work away, or turn off the TV, or the next chapter can wait and that a healthy sleep is important.
You teach me to be an active participant in the world. Honey, you never sit still, you never walk, and you rarely sit. You are a go getter by nature and I love keeping up with you. I love that you are responsive to the world around you and you embrace each new experience as an opportunity. You are resilient and never too tired, or achey, or exhausted to tackle the next adventure.
You teach me to dance when I want to dance, to sing loud and proud not caring who hears, and to laugh at mistakes - brushing them off as "silly mommy." We have so much fun together, I love being your mommy so much. I love our dance parties, I love our sing songs in the car or in the bath - more over I love that we make up songs and dances for silly things like mac and cheese or salt and pepper. I can't wait for more fun and am always surprised how creative you are.
You teach me to colour outside of the lines and that colours are versatile. I love that your Peppa pig is never the same colour and that she is nothing but loop - d - looped over in perfectly created Pacey swirls.
You teach me the power of just being who you are every day. Right now, in this stage of your life, you have no other reason to be anyone but you. I admire that. I love who you are becoming. I love that you accept what happens with such courage and that you always laugh before you cry. My love, you give me so much joy just by being you. You are by far, the best moments of my life.
I can't wait for what I will learn next,
Much love,
Mommy
July 30, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/6337492.jpg)
Dear Pacey,
I miss Gramma. I miss her very much. Somedays I feel the miss more than others, and today is one of those days. Did you know that Gramma made birthdays exceptional? I am going to do that for you. I am going to make sure on your birthday, you know it is your day and you know how much you matter. I will make that day stand out amongst all the rest.
When mommy was a little girl, Gramma always made the greatest cakes. She made them all on her own. One time she made me a Strawberry Shortcake cake, and a Raggedy Ann cake. She decorated them with liquorice and gum drops and all sorts of special things. She always made sure that my presents were wrapped up beautifully with bows and ribbons and she always knew what I loved. Every birthday was very special. As an adult, it is impressive. I will be that impressive for you, I promise.
The other thing that Gramma did really well, was play. Gramma was never too busy to play games with mommy. We played babies, and house. We played barbies and went for bike rides. We went on treasure hunts and played board games. We made paper dolls and coloured crafts. She was never too busy and never seemed to run out of ideas.
She loved being outside and finding adventures there. Sometimes we hopped on our bikes with no destination in our minds and threw caution to the wind and waited to see where our bikes would take us. Sometimes she did have a destination in mind and it was so fun guessing where we were going. She played in the sand, built in the snow, and we put our bathing suits on in the rain and danced in the backyard. We always had fun.
Even when mommy grew into a teenager, we still had fun. The fun just shifted a little. We would go shopping or we went for long walks or weekend retreats to the states. I promise to do these things with you - it was during those moments that we strengthened our bond as mother and daughter and as friends. Gramma and mommy had so much fun together and shared lots of laughs. Gramma was very good at that! She always had a smile on her face and was ready for a good laugh.
We will play, we will shop and walk, we will search this world together, and together, my love, we will laugh through it all as a mother and daughter and as friends, I promise.
Much love,
Mommy
I miss Gramma. I miss her very much. Somedays I feel the miss more than others, and today is one of those days. Did you know that Gramma made birthdays exceptional? I am going to do that for you. I am going to make sure on your birthday, you know it is your day and you know how much you matter. I will make that day stand out amongst all the rest.
When mommy was a little girl, Gramma always made the greatest cakes. She made them all on her own. One time she made me a Strawberry Shortcake cake, and a Raggedy Ann cake. She decorated them with liquorice and gum drops and all sorts of special things. She always made sure that my presents were wrapped up beautifully with bows and ribbons and she always knew what I loved. Every birthday was very special. As an adult, it is impressive. I will be that impressive for you, I promise.
The other thing that Gramma did really well, was play. Gramma was never too busy to play games with mommy. We played babies, and house. We played barbies and went for bike rides. We went on treasure hunts and played board games. We made paper dolls and coloured crafts. She was never too busy and never seemed to run out of ideas.
She loved being outside and finding adventures there. Sometimes we hopped on our bikes with no destination in our minds and threw caution to the wind and waited to see where our bikes would take us. Sometimes she did have a destination in mind and it was so fun guessing where we were going. She played in the sand, built in the snow, and we put our bathing suits on in the rain and danced in the backyard. We always had fun.
Even when mommy grew into a teenager, we still had fun. The fun just shifted a little. We would go shopping or we went for long walks or weekend retreats to the states. I promise to do these things with you - it was during those moments that we strengthened our bond as mother and daughter and as friends. Gramma and mommy had so much fun together and shared lots of laughs. Gramma was very good at that! She always had a smile on her face and was ready for a good laugh.
We will play, we will shop and walk, we will search this world together, and together, my love, we will laugh through it all as a mother and daughter and as friends, I promise.
Much love,
Mommy
August 3, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/5355111.jpeg)
Hello sweet girl,
Today is a day that I want to reach out and hug the world. I want the world to relax and understand that it is going to be ok. I want to take the world in my arms and hold all the sadness and pain and just take it from other people, even if just for today, even just for a small break from all that haunts and torments them. This world, is ours, it is as much yours as it is mine as it is some other mother and daughter in a far far away place. I want it to be a great place for you, and all other little girls who are just starting out. I want it to be full of happiness, opportunity, dreams, hopes, and peace. I want it's heart to beat strong, steady and sure. I want it to be stable and safe and to hold you close wherever your feet take you. I know the world has it's dark little corners that seem scary, or big, or overwhelming but I am hoping that those corners are few and far between for you. I hope that you fill your tool box carefully in life. I would like to put in your tool box a poem that I love. It is by a famous poet named Rudyard Kipling. It is called "If."
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
(or a Woman, my daughter!) - Rudyard Kipling lived a long time ago, when son's seemed more brave and strong and learned than daughters - but I am sure he would reword this last part if he were here now, in this century! You get the point, I am sure!
Much love,
Mommy
Today is a day that I want to reach out and hug the world. I want the world to relax and understand that it is going to be ok. I want to take the world in my arms and hold all the sadness and pain and just take it from other people, even if just for today, even just for a small break from all that haunts and torments them. This world, is ours, it is as much yours as it is mine as it is some other mother and daughter in a far far away place. I want it to be a great place for you, and all other little girls who are just starting out. I want it to be full of happiness, opportunity, dreams, hopes, and peace. I want it's heart to beat strong, steady and sure. I want it to be stable and safe and to hold you close wherever your feet take you. I know the world has it's dark little corners that seem scary, or big, or overwhelming but I am hoping that those corners are few and far between for you. I hope that you fill your tool box carefully in life. I would like to put in your tool box a poem that I love. It is by a famous poet named Rudyard Kipling. It is called "If."
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
(or a Woman, my daughter!) - Rudyard Kipling lived a long time ago, when son's seemed more brave and strong and learned than daughters - but I am sure he would reword this last part if he were here now, in this century! You get the point, I am sure!
Much love,
Mommy
August 9, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/6491060.jpg)
Dear Pacey-rae,
Sometimes I wonder if you will ever read these letters. I have them all hand written for you but mommy also types them on your website, this way they will never be lost or damaged. You will always have access to them, if you want. I wonder if you will write me letters - I think I would categorize these as love letters because I always feel so much love when I write them for you. I wonder if you will like to write as much as mommy does? I want you to, but I also know that you will have your own interests and hobbies that will keep you busy. You already do!!! You love dancing and singing. You love running and climbing. You love taking care of your babies. You love stretching yourself into weird and awkward positions. You are becoming quite a character! Yikes P! I forgot we have a play date to get to! This is a short letter bursting with a whole lot of love!
Much love,
Mommy
Sometimes I wonder if you will ever read these letters. I have them all hand written for you but mommy also types them on your website, this way they will never be lost or damaged. You will always have access to them, if you want. I wonder if you will write me letters - I think I would categorize these as love letters because I always feel so much love when I write them for you. I wonder if you will like to write as much as mommy does? I want you to, but I also know that you will have your own interests and hobbies that will keep you busy. You already do!!! You love dancing and singing. You love running and climbing. You love taking care of your babies. You love stretching yourself into weird and awkward positions. You are becoming quite a character! Yikes P! I forgot we have a play date to get to! This is a short letter bursting with a whole lot of love!
Much love,
Mommy
August 21, 2013
![Picture](/uploads/1/2/1/6/12164046/1393203036.jpg)
Well Pacey,
It's official. Soon we will start a new adventure with our little family. We have sold our house. Our wonderful little house tucked away on a quiet bay in Charleswood. This house was our home and saw us through many, many memories. This house was where daddy asked mommy to marry him. It was where we shared holidays and meals and so many fun times with family and friends. We built, we painted, we hammered, we nailed, until it slowly became our place.
This was the place that held tight to mommy as her world began to fall apart when Gramma got sick. In the very late of the night, this house heard the secret cries that mommy made, the wishes that Gramma could get better. At the end of a long work day, this house embraced mommy's tired body and saddened mind and held on, when she felt everything else letting go. On the morning Gramma died, this house provided a quiet comfort and offered the promise that things would get better. It let mommy hang pictures of Gramma, and let mommy feel Gramma's presence in it. It reminded mommy of happier days she shared with Gramma. It did a very good job, being a home.
And then, my love, this was the place that I first found out you were coming into my world - a short month after Gramma had left it. This place made good on it's promise that life could be good. This place felt every moment of my pregnancy with you. I laid in the living room, the den, the bedroom and felt you grow. I planned your bedroom from the office upstairs and daddy and I began family meetings in the basement. Once we found out you were a little girl, the plans began and your room was transformed from a bland guest room into a bright little room that couldn't wait to welcome you home - to it, to this place, where so much love lives.
This place, it welcomed you. It was your first home. It was safe and warm and it was yours. You learned how to roll over, sit up, and crawl here. When you were ready you took your first steps and spoke your first words here. This house was where you grew into the lovely little toddler you are becoming. We will always love this home. It will always hold a special place in our hearts and we will return to visit it and see how it has changed. But, soon we will say good bye to our little home and move onto a new adventure.
To where? This is the scary and exciting part, P… We aren't exactly sure! I promise, you will be the first to know when we do. For now, we will move in with Bampa, and hopefully fill his house with our love. It is going to be a tight squeeze to fit us all in there, but sometimes the smaller the space, the better the love. We will see.
Much love,
Mommy
It's official. Soon we will start a new adventure with our little family. We have sold our house. Our wonderful little house tucked away on a quiet bay in Charleswood. This house was our home and saw us through many, many memories. This house was where daddy asked mommy to marry him. It was where we shared holidays and meals and so many fun times with family and friends. We built, we painted, we hammered, we nailed, until it slowly became our place.
This was the place that held tight to mommy as her world began to fall apart when Gramma got sick. In the very late of the night, this house heard the secret cries that mommy made, the wishes that Gramma could get better. At the end of a long work day, this house embraced mommy's tired body and saddened mind and held on, when she felt everything else letting go. On the morning Gramma died, this house provided a quiet comfort and offered the promise that things would get better. It let mommy hang pictures of Gramma, and let mommy feel Gramma's presence in it. It reminded mommy of happier days she shared with Gramma. It did a very good job, being a home.
And then, my love, this was the place that I first found out you were coming into my world - a short month after Gramma had left it. This place made good on it's promise that life could be good. This place felt every moment of my pregnancy with you. I laid in the living room, the den, the bedroom and felt you grow. I planned your bedroom from the office upstairs and daddy and I began family meetings in the basement. Once we found out you were a little girl, the plans began and your room was transformed from a bland guest room into a bright little room that couldn't wait to welcome you home - to it, to this place, where so much love lives.
This place, it welcomed you. It was your first home. It was safe and warm and it was yours. You learned how to roll over, sit up, and crawl here. When you were ready you took your first steps and spoke your first words here. This house was where you grew into the lovely little toddler you are becoming. We will always love this home. It will always hold a special place in our hearts and we will return to visit it and see how it has changed. But, soon we will say good bye to our little home and move onto a new adventure.
To where? This is the scary and exciting part, P… We aren't exactly sure! I promise, you will be the first to know when we do. For now, we will move in with Bampa, and hopefully fill his house with our love. It is going to be a tight squeeze to fit us all in there, but sometimes the smaller the space, the better the love. We will see.
Much love,
Mommy
September 23, 2013
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Oh my goodness little mouse,
We have been so busy getting packed up and mommy is back to work in a new school with a bunch of new students to work with. You are having fun while we pack. Typically you unpack what I pack or you climb up on the boxes and rubber maid containers. I would never miss out on your climbing adventures because you love to scream MOMMY at the top of your lungs when you are doing something you shouldn't be doing! I suppose it is good you are quick to tell on yourself. I just wish you could not do things that make you tell yourself in the first place!!!!
So we are stretching all our things and ourselves between 3 different places - Bampa's, Grumpa's and Auntie Carmie's. I imagine that this is going to be one tricky situation, but you know what - you, me and daddy - we will get through it together! We will be fine, this much I am sure of! As long as we are together, we will always be fine. I think Bampa is looking forward to us coming. I am sure he is a little bit worried about having two adults, a baby and two dogs infringe upon his space, but I think he is looking forward to having some company as well.
I know we won't be too much trouble. Daddy and I have talked about how we are going to try to keep out of Bampa's hair and try our best to help him out while we are there. Mommy is a little worried about how it is going to feel to be back home, in the house she grew up in, without her Mommy. I worry that I will feel sad and miss Gramma even more. There is so much of Gramma that lives in that house - she loved that house so much, Pacey. Her spirit is in every single room, in every single decorating theme. I am excited to share stories with you about the things at Bampa's - Gramma's snow babies, her willow tree angels, the pictures, and I can hardly wait to explore the neighbourhood with you. It will be very fun in the summer when we can walk to Bampa's ball games. I think he will like having people there to watch him again.
I guess more than worried, or anxious, I am looking forward to being with Bampa, making sure he is eating supper and that he is happier more than he is sad. I am looking forward to sharing my home with you and Daddy and helping you both feel at home. Daddy and I are still not sure where we are moving our little family. We want to move out to Oak Bluff, but also want to be sure we check out all our options before we decide on one. One thing is for sure, wherever we move to next is going to be our forever home - maybe it's good we are taking our time finding it hmmm?
Time for bed,
Much love,
Mommy
We have been so busy getting packed up and mommy is back to work in a new school with a bunch of new students to work with. You are having fun while we pack. Typically you unpack what I pack or you climb up on the boxes and rubber maid containers. I would never miss out on your climbing adventures because you love to scream MOMMY at the top of your lungs when you are doing something you shouldn't be doing! I suppose it is good you are quick to tell on yourself. I just wish you could not do things that make you tell yourself in the first place!!!!
So we are stretching all our things and ourselves between 3 different places - Bampa's, Grumpa's and Auntie Carmie's. I imagine that this is going to be one tricky situation, but you know what - you, me and daddy - we will get through it together! We will be fine, this much I am sure of! As long as we are together, we will always be fine. I think Bampa is looking forward to us coming. I am sure he is a little bit worried about having two adults, a baby and two dogs infringe upon his space, but I think he is looking forward to having some company as well.
I know we won't be too much trouble. Daddy and I have talked about how we are going to try to keep out of Bampa's hair and try our best to help him out while we are there. Mommy is a little worried about how it is going to feel to be back home, in the house she grew up in, without her Mommy. I worry that I will feel sad and miss Gramma even more. There is so much of Gramma that lives in that house - she loved that house so much, Pacey. Her spirit is in every single room, in every single decorating theme. I am excited to share stories with you about the things at Bampa's - Gramma's snow babies, her willow tree angels, the pictures, and I can hardly wait to explore the neighbourhood with you. It will be very fun in the summer when we can walk to Bampa's ball games. I think he will like having people there to watch him again.
I guess more than worried, or anxious, I am looking forward to being with Bampa, making sure he is eating supper and that he is happier more than he is sad. I am looking forward to sharing my home with you and Daddy and helping you both feel at home. Daddy and I are still not sure where we are moving our little family. We want to move out to Oak Bluff, but also want to be sure we check out all our options before we decide on one. One thing is for sure, wherever we move to next is going to be our forever home - maybe it's good we are taking our time finding it hmmm?
Time for bed,
Much love,
Mommy
October 10, 2013
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Here we are Pacey!
We are a few days into our new living arrangements with Bampa! So far so good. I will have to admit, I was a little worried and did have those feelings of "Are we doing the right thing?" when I was unpacking your things into your new room at Bampa's and you were telling me No and crying. That was very hard for mommy. Daddy and mommy really want to do the right thing by you. We know we only get one chance with you and we want to do it right. The house in Charleswood was not the right forever home for our family and we needed to make a move. We knew this.
We just aren't sure what the next right move is. We really want to build our home in Oak Bluff but there is so much to consider. We have to think about where we want to raise you and think about where you will go to school. Area is a big consideration for us and Oak Bluff just feels right to us, it feels so right. We have spent so much time looking at houses in the city and it just seems to redirect us back to Oak Bluff. I think you will love growing up there - it is a new community and there will be so many little kids around your age to play with. We will have a big yard and there is a lot of play grounds and community activities there.
So while we are unsure, my baby, we are getting closer and closer to being sure. It is nice to be able to make this decision the right way - with no pressures of getting anywhere fast. Our decision will be the best one for our family, the best one for you. I can't wait to figure it out. I can't wait to make another home the perfect place for all our love to grow.
Much love,
Mommy
We are a few days into our new living arrangements with Bampa! So far so good. I will have to admit, I was a little worried and did have those feelings of "Are we doing the right thing?" when I was unpacking your things into your new room at Bampa's and you were telling me No and crying. That was very hard for mommy. Daddy and mommy really want to do the right thing by you. We know we only get one chance with you and we want to do it right. The house in Charleswood was not the right forever home for our family and we needed to make a move. We knew this.
We just aren't sure what the next right move is. We really want to build our home in Oak Bluff but there is so much to consider. We have to think about where we want to raise you and think about where you will go to school. Area is a big consideration for us and Oak Bluff just feels right to us, it feels so right. We have spent so much time looking at houses in the city and it just seems to redirect us back to Oak Bluff. I think you will love growing up there - it is a new community and there will be so many little kids around your age to play with. We will have a big yard and there is a lot of play grounds and community activities there.
So while we are unsure, my baby, we are getting closer and closer to being sure. It is nice to be able to make this decision the right way - with no pressures of getting anywhere fast. Our decision will be the best one for our family, the best one for you. I can't wait to figure it out. I can't wait to make another home the perfect place for all our love to grow.
Much love,
Mommy
October 22, 2013
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Pacey-rae,
When you dream … how big are your dreams? Where do they take you? Sometimes I have really silly dreams that don't make sense, like the one where daddy and I rode polar bears through the ocean all the way to Alaska - Geographically the dream made no sense, physically it was nonsense, but it truly captivated me and felt so real. I wonder sometimes when you are sleeping and you move or smile or make a little sound, well, I wonder if you are dreaming. Sometimes my dreams are memories, or versions of my memories. Sometimes they are scary, or exciting, sometimes they are surreal and sometimes they are sad. I think they all serve a purpose - and sometimes the purpose is clear and definite, and other times, I can't seem to figure out why I would dream the dreams I dream. Your dreams are important, Pacey-rae, they tell you things. They sometimes help to sort things out, or help you to appreciate the things you may have been neglecting. When you have a dream, your brain is working while your body sleeps. Maybe someday you will tell me the stories of your dreams and I will sit and listen with much enthusiasm and invested interest.
Much love,
Mommy
When you dream … how big are your dreams? Where do they take you? Sometimes I have really silly dreams that don't make sense, like the one where daddy and I rode polar bears through the ocean all the way to Alaska - Geographically the dream made no sense, physically it was nonsense, but it truly captivated me and felt so real. I wonder sometimes when you are sleeping and you move or smile or make a little sound, well, I wonder if you are dreaming. Sometimes my dreams are memories, or versions of my memories. Sometimes they are scary, or exciting, sometimes they are surreal and sometimes they are sad. I think they all serve a purpose - and sometimes the purpose is clear and definite, and other times, I can't seem to figure out why I would dream the dreams I dream. Your dreams are important, Pacey-rae, they tell you things. They sometimes help to sort things out, or help you to appreciate the things you may have been neglecting. When you have a dream, your brain is working while your body sleeps. Maybe someday you will tell me the stories of your dreams and I will sit and listen with much enthusiasm and invested interest.
Much love,
Mommy
November 14, 2013
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Dear Pacey,
I am so excited! I can hardly wait! We have decided we are moving to Oak Bluff! Our house won't be ready for a long long time, so we will have lots of time to have fun with Bampa. We chose a house that has your bedroom right beside ours, but don't worry love, we are prepared for you to want your space when you are a teenager so we will make sure to make a bedroom downstairs for you. I love the house we are moving in to. I absolutely love it!
Daddy and I already decided that the extra room upstairs is going to be a play room for you and we will have a nice big yard that we can put a play structure in. Our house backs onto a man made lake and green space with a bike path, so that will be lots of fun to have bike rides and walk the dogs. We have a big basement so you will have lots of play space there too! Your bedroom - is going to be a Peppa Pig theme!!! It's going to be so awesome Pacey! I can't wait!
When I think of the house I think about the Christmas' and birthdays we will have there. I think about all the dreams to be made and come true. I am so excited, and can't wait to start this next adventure! Sadly … our house will not be ready until October 30, 2014 - which is a long time away. But, it is nice being with Bampa, and I think he loves having you around, so maybe it won't be so bad at all. And, it will be an exciting and eventful year ahead, watching our house be dug out and built will be something we can share together. Lucky us!
Much love,
Mommy
I am so excited! I can hardly wait! We have decided we are moving to Oak Bluff! Our house won't be ready for a long long time, so we will have lots of time to have fun with Bampa. We chose a house that has your bedroom right beside ours, but don't worry love, we are prepared for you to want your space when you are a teenager so we will make sure to make a bedroom downstairs for you. I love the house we are moving in to. I absolutely love it!
Daddy and I already decided that the extra room upstairs is going to be a play room for you and we will have a nice big yard that we can put a play structure in. Our house backs onto a man made lake and green space with a bike path, so that will be lots of fun to have bike rides and walk the dogs. We have a big basement so you will have lots of play space there too! Your bedroom - is going to be a Peppa Pig theme!!! It's going to be so awesome Pacey! I can't wait!
When I think of the house I think about the Christmas' and birthdays we will have there. I think about all the dreams to be made and come true. I am so excited, and can't wait to start this next adventure! Sadly … our house will not be ready until October 30, 2014 - which is a long time away. But, it is nice being with Bampa, and I think he loves having you around, so maybe it won't be so bad at all. And, it will be an exciting and eventful year ahead, watching our house be dug out and built will be something we can share together. Lucky us!
Much love,
Mommy
December 3, 2013
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My little mouse,
Soon we will get on a plane and go see Grandma in Denver. I am really not sure what to expect. I think you are going to do great. I have spent the last month or so figuring out all kinds of little tricks I can pack into my bag to keep you busy and happy for the flight. I have colours, and paper. I have movies downloaded onto my laptop. I have babies and stuffies and all kinds of little figurines. Daddy got you snacks and treats and we made sure to pack your giraffe blanket. We have been talking about planes and looking at them on the internet.
When we are in Denver, we have some pretty great plans. We are going to go to the zoo - Mommy loves the Denver zoo, it is really beautiful. You will see animals there that would never come to our zoo. We are also going to see the Children's museum and the Broncos stadium. I am very interested to see their Children's museum, I looked online and it looks great, even though Grandma said it wasn't so good! I think that it looks similar to our Children's museum, except this one is bigger and has more exhibits to look at and play around with. You will get to meet new members of your family whom you haven't met yet - that will be exciting! And, of course, we will go shopping! I am so lucky that you love to shop as much, well nearly as much as mommy! Mommy can't wait to visit the Toys R Us in Denver - they have some pretty cool and unique toys there that we don't carry here. I hope we can spend a while there. I also hope we get to go to a Disney store, they will have all your favourite characters there - Jake, Sophia, Doc, and of course, Minnie!
I am not sure how we will sleep when we get there. Usually mommy and daddy sleep downstairs but there is something wrong with Grandma's basement and she doesn't want us to sleep down there. I know daddy mentioned something about staying with Auntie Lyn or maybe getting a hotel, so we will have to just wait and see on that, but I am curious about that. I think you will have to sleep in the big bed with mommy and daddy, which will be fine, I know daddy loves when he wakes up with you beside him and I know you love being in the big bed with us. I am just not so crazy about getting kicked and pushed all night by you - my crazy little sleeper!
I am most looking forward to a break from this arduous winter we are having - long, cold, and cold. It will be nice to wear lighter jackets and not have to worry so much about warming up cars or bundling up before we head out. It will be nice to feel the warmth of the sunshine and see some grass on the ground. Denver is not tropical but it beats the pants out of Winnipeg when it comes to winter weather. It makes a lighter bag to be packed - which works great for my shopping plans - more room for more clothes!!!
Much love,
Mommy
Soon we will get on a plane and go see Grandma in Denver. I am really not sure what to expect. I think you are going to do great. I have spent the last month or so figuring out all kinds of little tricks I can pack into my bag to keep you busy and happy for the flight. I have colours, and paper. I have movies downloaded onto my laptop. I have babies and stuffies and all kinds of little figurines. Daddy got you snacks and treats and we made sure to pack your giraffe blanket. We have been talking about planes and looking at them on the internet.
When we are in Denver, we have some pretty great plans. We are going to go to the zoo - Mommy loves the Denver zoo, it is really beautiful. You will see animals there that would never come to our zoo. We are also going to see the Children's museum and the Broncos stadium. I am very interested to see their Children's museum, I looked online and it looks great, even though Grandma said it wasn't so good! I think that it looks similar to our Children's museum, except this one is bigger and has more exhibits to look at and play around with. You will get to meet new members of your family whom you haven't met yet - that will be exciting! And, of course, we will go shopping! I am so lucky that you love to shop as much, well nearly as much as mommy! Mommy can't wait to visit the Toys R Us in Denver - they have some pretty cool and unique toys there that we don't carry here. I hope we can spend a while there. I also hope we get to go to a Disney store, they will have all your favourite characters there - Jake, Sophia, Doc, and of course, Minnie!
I am not sure how we will sleep when we get there. Usually mommy and daddy sleep downstairs but there is something wrong with Grandma's basement and she doesn't want us to sleep down there. I know daddy mentioned something about staying with Auntie Lyn or maybe getting a hotel, so we will have to just wait and see on that, but I am curious about that. I think you will have to sleep in the big bed with mommy and daddy, which will be fine, I know daddy loves when he wakes up with you beside him and I know you love being in the big bed with us. I am just not so crazy about getting kicked and pushed all night by you - my crazy little sleeper!
I am most looking forward to a break from this arduous winter we are having - long, cold, and cold. It will be nice to wear lighter jackets and not have to worry so much about warming up cars or bundling up before we head out. It will be nice to feel the warmth of the sunshine and see some grass on the ground. Denver is not tropical but it beats the pants out of Winnipeg when it comes to winter weather. It makes a lighter bag to be packed - which works great for my shopping plans - more room for more clothes!!!
Much love,
Mommy
January 14, 2014
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Dear Pacey-rae,
Well, here we are, nearly two years old and I can hardly believe it. Where has all the time gone? Where did my chubby cheeked little mouse go? You are this incredible little girl now. You have opinions and ideas and questions. You sing songs and dance and you make me laugh all the time. You really are a character and we love you more and more each day. Daddy and I often talk at night after you have gone to sleep about how much fun you are and how we can't believe how you did this or said that and we often have to keep quiet because we laugh at some of the crazy things you do!
Lately, you are loving to "go crazy." What does this look like? Well you run around in circles with your tongue out shaking your head and screaming, "Mommy I go crazy!" What else do you love doing … well you love giving your babies time outs and asking them to say sorry and give you kisses when you come back for them. You also love playing "can't catch me daddy," and running around the house. It is so funny to watch you create these games and teach them to us. You also love colouring and if you can wrangle anyone to open up some colours and pull out a piece of paper, you are one happy little camper! You are also a fan of screaming and announcing when you are screaming - so when we are out shopping you will squeal out and then look up at me from your stroller and say "Mommy I'm screaming!" It is very adorable! You also love cooking or baking with mommy. Whenever I start to cook or bake you always grab your chair from the table, pull it all the way to the counter, climb up and say "Mommy I'm helping." You like to taste more than you do help though!!!
You really are so fun, and you have brought so much joy to so many lives. All children do, but you are so special Pacey. You lit up some very dark lives and have brought so much happiness. You are precious to so many people. I love you, I love you so much. My world has transformed since you entered my life and I will forever be grateful for the peace you brought to it. Every time you say "Mommy" with your Peppa pig inspired British accent, you melt my heart. There is no one in the world like you, no one has ever been like you, and no one will ever be like you - you, my love, are one of a kind and I celebrate you every day.
Much love,
Mommy
Well, here we are, nearly two years old and I can hardly believe it. Where has all the time gone? Where did my chubby cheeked little mouse go? You are this incredible little girl now. You have opinions and ideas and questions. You sing songs and dance and you make me laugh all the time. You really are a character and we love you more and more each day. Daddy and I often talk at night after you have gone to sleep about how much fun you are and how we can't believe how you did this or said that and we often have to keep quiet because we laugh at some of the crazy things you do!
Lately, you are loving to "go crazy." What does this look like? Well you run around in circles with your tongue out shaking your head and screaming, "Mommy I go crazy!" What else do you love doing … well you love giving your babies time outs and asking them to say sorry and give you kisses when you come back for them. You also love playing "can't catch me daddy," and running around the house. It is so funny to watch you create these games and teach them to us. You also love colouring and if you can wrangle anyone to open up some colours and pull out a piece of paper, you are one happy little camper! You are also a fan of screaming and announcing when you are screaming - so when we are out shopping you will squeal out and then look up at me from your stroller and say "Mommy I'm screaming!" It is very adorable! You also love cooking or baking with mommy. Whenever I start to cook or bake you always grab your chair from the table, pull it all the way to the counter, climb up and say "Mommy I'm helping." You like to taste more than you do help though!!!
You really are so fun, and you have brought so much joy to so many lives. All children do, but you are so special Pacey. You lit up some very dark lives and have brought so much happiness. You are precious to so many people. I love you, I love you so much. My world has transformed since you entered my life and I will forever be grateful for the peace you brought to it. Every time you say "Mommy" with your Peppa pig inspired British accent, you melt my heart. There is no one in the world like you, no one has ever been like you, and no one will ever be like you - you, my love, are one of a kind and I celebrate you every day.
Much love,
Mommy
February 1, 2014
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Happy birthday darling!
You are TWOOOO! You keep saying that over and over and you have been so excited for your Peppa Party. Mommy has been planning this party since your last party if you can believe it!!! I have so many great plans for this party and you are going to have so much fun. I know you are not feeling very well and you have been so sick for a couple of weeks now, but baby, today is your day and I know you are going to shine through your crummy illness. When everyone is gone, Mommy and you will go downstairs and put on our comfies and snuggle up for a good long time.
I love you so very much my special angel, enjoy your day!
Much love,
Mommy
You are TWOOOO! You keep saying that over and over and you have been so excited for your Peppa Party. Mommy has been planning this party since your last party if you can believe it!!! I have so many great plans for this party and you are going to have so much fun. I know you are not feeling very well and you have been so sick for a couple of weeks now, but baby, today is your day and I know you are going to shine through your crummy illness. When everyone is gone, Mommy and you will go downstairs and put on our comfies and snuggle up for a good long time.
I love you so very much my special angel, enjoy your day!
Much love,
Mommy
February 14, 2014
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Happy Valentimes Day Pacey!
Today is a day that the world celebrates love. Love is one of these emotions that is felt in different ways for different people - it is independent and unique from one person to the next, from one relationship to the next. I love you indescribably, P. I can't find the words to express it, but it is all yours, every day, all day, forever and always. I will never not love you. There is nothing in this world that you could possibly do that would make my love for you disappear. I can promise you that whole heartedly.
A while ago I shared a poem with you, in a letter, by Rudyard Kipling. I want to share another with you today. While mommy is not a religious person, this poem comes from the Bible and I appreciate it as a piece of literature that speaks to my heart. It is everything I think true simple love is. I hope you love in abundance my little love bug. I hope the world continues to love you
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Pacey, love is ever growing and ever changing. Please don't ever limit your love - keep an open mind and an open heart and love fully and with appreciation. Love without regret. You deserve the best in life, the best in love and do not ever settle for being loved for any less than completely.
Much love,
Mommy
Today is a day that the world celebrates love. Love is one of these emotions that is felt in different ways for different people - it is independent and unique from one person to the next, from one relationship to the next. I love you indescribably, P. I can't find the words to express it, but it is all yours, every day, all day, forever and always. I will never not love you. There is nothing in this world that you could possibly do that would make my love for you disappear. I can promise you that whole heartedly.
A while ago I shared a poem with you, in a letter, by Rudyard Kipling. I want to share another with you today. While mommy is not a religious person, this poem comes from the Bible and I appreciate it as a piece of literature that speaks to my heart. It is everything I think true simple love is. I hope you love in abundance my little love bug. I hope the world continues to love you
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Pacey, love is ever growing and ever changing. Please don't ever limit your love - keep an open mind and an open heart and love fully and with appreciation. Love without regret. You deserve the best in life, the best in love and do not ever settle for being loved for any less than completely.
Much love,
Mommy
March 15, 2014
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Dear little mouse of mine,
Everyday I feel so lucky to be your mommy. I really love it. It brings me so much joy. Today we went out as a family and did some shopping. Mostly we stick together when we shop, but today daddy was getting a hockey stick from Sport Check, so mommy thought you and her would go to the Apple store. Everything was great, you were talking away about babies and your puppy. All of a sudden, in the middle of the Apple store you bellered out at the top of your lungs "DADDY, WHERE ARE YOU DADDY?" You didn't just say it one time, though, oh no, you gave it a good and honest 3 or 4 hollers before you gave up. Then as we were leaving you looked up at me and said "Mommy, Pacey see Daddy now, ok?" So of course, we headed off to Sport Chek to see daddy.
Mommy has known daddy for a really really long time. She has seen daddy love a lot of things - his mom and dad, his pets, his teams, his friends, and me; but I have never seen Daddy love anyone or anything like he loves you. You brighten his days. There is a reason he rushes home when he is out. He never wants to miss his good night kiss from his "sweetheart baby." He loves being silly with you and playing pretty much anything you want to play. He has tea parties, he plays babies with you, he builds towers out of blocks and let's you give him a check up with your doctor set. He loves cuddling you and just lights up when he comes home and you come running "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Really, my love, you can't do anything wrong by Daddy.
Daddy says mommy spoils you too much, but you know, honey, daddy is just as bad as mommy. Quite often, I will tell him about a new toy that Marni has for her boys, or something that one of your friends had that you liked and he doesn't waste a minute - he is out the door and down to Toys R Us or Walmart, or wherever he needs to go to make sure "P gets hers." He loves you so much and wants to give you the world. A perfect example is that Auntie Kelly bought you a Calico Critters set - a house, a little set of twins, and a mommy and her babies. You loved it so much! Daddy went to Scholar's Choice and bought you a luxury townhouse set, a car, a motor cycle, a kitchen set, a bathroom set, a bedroom set, a living room set, 3 families, and a little set of babies. I couldn't believe it!!! He justified it by saying he got 20% off - mommy says, Big Deal.
Another great example is when you show an interest in a TV show, or characters - Daddy wants you to have collections of this stuff. I will take full responsibility for your Peppa Pig loot - that is all mommy! But daddy can take some ownership of your Octonauts sets, your Strawberry Shortcakes sets, your Doc McStuffins paraphernalia, the Sesame Street collection, and anything animal related. He always justifies it with, "But P loves it sooooo much!" You are one spoiled little girl!
One time we went to echildren, downtown to get you a pippy leash. So as mommy was looking through the vast amounts of patterns and styles, you and daddy were walking around the store. There were really adorable, but stupid expensive leather chairs that were kids sizes. Daddy insisted you needed one and bought you the pink one. He wanted you to have a comfortable chair for your bedroom. When it comes to Pacey-rae, daddy has no limits!
So Pacey, I guess I just want you to know that behind all those "things" you have stacked on toy shelves or in bins or cupboards. Beyond all the "treats" and "surprises," there is so much love for you. We love playing with all those things with you and watching you discover and learn new things while you play. We know all your theme songs to all your favourite shows and we try to make the voices of the characters when we play. We take you pretty much everywhere with us and we put everything down if you need a cuddle. On sick days, we lay in bed with you and watch movies. We play "can't catch me," and "hide and seek," - even though you really don't play fair. Daddy gives you P curls and Mommy plays baby Rae-Rae with you. You are so loved, you are never without our love, and no one, not anyone in the whole big world will ever take that away from you.
Much love,
Mommy
Everyday I feel so lucky to be your mommy. I really love it. It brings me so much joy. Today we went out as a family and did some shopping. Mostly we stick together when we shop, but today daddy was getting a hockey stick from Sport Check, so mommy thought you and her would go to the Apple store. Everything was great, you were talking away about babies and your puppy. All of a sudden, in the middle of the Apple store you bellered out at the top of your lungs "DADDY, WHERE ARE YOU DADDY?" You didn't just say it one time, though, oh no, you gave it a good and honest 3 or 4 hollers before you gave up. Then as we were leaving you looked up at me and said "Mommy, Pacey see Daddy now, ok?" So of course, we headed off to Sport Chek to see daddy.
Mommy has known daddy for a really really long time. She has seen daddy love a lot of things - his mom and dad, his pets, his teams, his friends, and me; but I have never seen Daddy love anyone or anything like he loves you. You brighten his days. There is a reason he rushes home when he is out. He never wants to miss his good night kiss from his "sweetheart baby." He loves being silly with you and playing pretty much anything you want to play. He has tea parties, he plays babies with you, he builds towers out of blocks and let's you give him a check up with your doctor set. He loves cuddling you and just lights up when he comes home and you come running "Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Really, my love, you can't do anything wrong by Daddy.
Daddy says mommy spoils you too much, but you know, honey, daddy is just as bad as mommy. Quite often, I will tell him about a new toy that Marni has for her boys, or something that one of your friends had that you liked and he doesn't waste a minute - he is out the door and down to Toys R Us or Walmart, or wherever he needs to go to make sure "P gets hers." He loves you so much and wants to give you the world. A perfect example is that Auntie Kelly bought you a Calico Critters set - a house, a little set of twins, and a mommy and her babies. You loved it so much! Daddy went to Scholar's Choice and bought you a luxury townhouse set, a car, a motor cycle, a kitchen set, a bathroom set, a bedroom set, a living room set, 3 families, and a little set of babies. I couldn't believe it!!! He justified it by saying he got 20% off - mommy says, Big Deal.
Another great example is when you show an interest in a TV show, or characters - Daddy wants you to have collections of this stuff. I will take full responsibility for your Peppa Pig loot - that is all mommy! But daddy can take some ownership of your Octonauts sets, your Strawberry Shortcakes sets, your Doc McStuffins paraphernalia, the Sesame Street collection, and anything animal related. He always justifies it with, "But P loves it sooooo much!" You are one spoiled little girl!
One time we went to echildren, downtown to get you a pippy leash. So as mommy was looking through the vast amounts of patterns and styles, you and daddy were walking around the store. There were really adorable, but stupid expensive leather chairs that were kids sizes. Daddy insisted you needed one and bought you the pink one. He wanted you to have a comfortable chair for your bedroom. When it comes to Pacey-rae, daddy has no limits!
So Pacey, I guess I just want you to know that behind all those "things" you have stacked on toy shelves or in bins or cupboards. Beyond all the "treats" and "surprises," there is so much love for you. We love playing with all those things with you and watching you discover and learn new things while you play. We know all your theme songs to all your favourite shows and we try to make the voices of the characters when we play. We take you pretty much everywhere with us and we put everything down if you need a cuddle. On sick days, we lay in bed with you and watch movies. We play "can't catch me," and "hide and seek," - even though you really don't play fair. Daddy gives you P curls and Mommy plays baby Rae-Rae with you. You are so loved, you are never without our love, and no one, not anyone in the whole big world will ever take that away from you.
Much love,
Mommy
April 26, 2014
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Dear Mouse,
Did you ever know that you are purely magical? You bring so much joy without even trying or knowing - it just happens by you being. That is impressive and it is a quality I hope you never lose. Lately I have been thinking about your days. We start and end most days together, but during the meat of that sandwich, we go our own ways. I know that in my day, I get so caught up in things, I forget how very much I miss you. But, I do think of you, often. I wonder about you. I wonder about the you I know now, and the you I will meet, and then, every now and then, the you I will never meet.
The wonders I have about the you I know now, are pretty simple. Are you happy? What are you doing? Are you sharing, smiling, laughing? How long did you sleep? Did you get outside? Do you miss mommy and daddy? Do you think about us, wonder about us? What did you learn that I missed seeing? What made you laugh? Are you safe? Are you curious? Do you have enough today? Do you know I am coming for you? Are you waiting for me? Are you listening, following rules, being kind? Most of all, do you remember Mommy loves you most and you are her favourite and best, always and forever…
And the wonders I have about the you I have yet to meet are a little more complex … What are your priorities? How important is it to you to smile and be kind? Do you laugh at yourself before you laugh at others? Are you aware how your life compares to others? Do you feel proud? How honest are you? Where do you go when you are hurt, or scared? Are you trustworthy? When it comes to friends, what do you value? Who is your best friend? How often do you hug us? Can we still cuddle? What are you worried about? What does your hair look like? Do you spend more time worrying about how you look on the outside, you forget to show people how you look on the inside? Are you fair? Are you healthy, safe, comfortable, happy? Are you serious or silly? What kinds of hobbies do you have? What have you learned? What are your talents? Most of all, do you remember Mommy loves you most and you are her favourite and best, always and forever …
And that wonderful, all grown up and beautiful inside and out you - the one that hopefully will know you at least for a good while, I wonder about her too. Are your wrinkles from worry or laughing? Do you regret much? What are you proud of? What is your best memory? The life path you took, was it wonderful - what did you see? What did you do? Who do you love? I wonder about your children, your grand children, and how different the world might look from now. Most of all Mousie, do you remember Mommy loves you most and you are her favourite and best, always and forever …
You know, right now, your most loved program to watch on television is Peppa Pig. On the episode, entitled "Balloons," Peppa says "…in life, there are two kinds of balloons. Up balloons and down balloons." Life moments are like that too, P. There are two kinds of moments. Up moments and down moments. Up moments are like up balloons - a little more flashy and exciting. They thrill us and make us smile. But those down moments, are much like the down balloons - less intriguing, less fancy - but still diligently serving their purpose. Down balloons, still bring us pleasure. They are colourful, playful, and worth something. I encourage you, Pacey-rae, in your down moments to think about the down balloon and find some sort of pleasure in that moment. It won't always be easy, in fact, sometimes, love, it is going to seem next to impossible. Never stop trying, to find the colour of that moment and remember honey - you will always be fine.
Everything will always be fine. Trust in it. Believe it. Live in the fineness of life.
Much love,
Mommy
Did you ever know that you are purely magical? You bring so much joy without even trying or knowing - it just happens by you being. That is impressive and it is a quality I hope you never lose. Lately I have been thinking about your days. We start and end most days together, but during the meat of that sandwich, we go our own ways. I know that in my day, I get so caught up in things, I forget how very much I miss you. But, I do think of you, often. I wonder about you. I wonder about the you I know now, and the you I will meet, and then, every now and then, the you I will never meet.
The wonders I have about the you I know now, are pretty simple. Are you happy? What are you doing? Are you sharing, smiling, laughing? How long did you sleep? Did you get outside? Do you miss mommy and daddy? Do you think about us, wonder about us? What did you learn that I missed seeing? What made you laugh? Are you safe? Are you curious? Do you have enough today? Do you know I am coming for you? Are you waiting for me? Are you listening, following rules, being kind? Most of all, do you remember Mommy loves you most and you are her favourite and best, always and forever…
And the wonders I have about the you I have yet to meet are a little more complex … What are your priorities? How important is it to you to smile and be kind? Do you laugh at yourself before you laugh at others? Are you aware how your life compares to others? Do you feel proud? How honest are you? Where do you go when you are hurt, or scared? Are you trustworthy? When it comes to friends, what do you value? Who is your best friend? How often do you hug us? Can we still cuddle? What are you worried about? What does your hair look like? Do you spend more time worrying about how you look on the outside, you forget to show people how you look on the inside? Are you fair? Are you healthy, safe, comfortable, happy? Are you serious or silly? What kinds of hobbies do you have? What have you learned? What are your talents? Most of all, do you remember Mommy loves you most and you are her favourite and best, always and forever …
And that wonderful, all grown up and beautiful inside and out you - the one that hopefully will know you at least for a good while, I wonder about her too. Are your wrinkles from worry or laughing? Do you regret much? What are you proud of? What is your best memory? The life path you took, was it wonderful - what did you see? What did you do? Who do you love? I wonder about your children, your grand children, and how different the world might look from now. Most of all Mousie, do you remember Mommy loves you most and you are her favourite and best, always and forever …
You know, right now, your most loved program to watch on television is Peppa Pig. On the episode, entitled "Balloons," Peppa says "…in life, there are two kinds of balloons. Up balloons and down balloons." Life moments are like that too, P. There are two kinds of moments. Up moments and down moments. Up moments are like up balloons - a little more flashy and exciting. They thrill us and make us smile. But those down moments, are much like the down balloons - less intriguing, less fancy - but still diligently serving their purpose. Down balloons, still bring us pleasure. They are colourful, playful, and worth something. I encourage you, Pacey-rae, in your down moments to think about the down balloon and find some sort of pleasure in that moment. It won't always be easy, in fact, sometimes, love, it is going to seem next to impossible. Never stop trying, to find the colour of that moment and remember honey - you will always be fine.
Everything will always be fine. Trust in it. Believe it. Live in the fineness of life.
Much love,
Mommy